Aight.

10 will be enough.

Overkill...

Everybody knows me, yup, I've had my luck with stars
How good are you? Well, nobody knows... who the fuck you are!
I'm struck bizarre, cuz when I look at your artist? I don't think skill
I think still, that Felix was a great result... of an ink spill
That's your verse? Please, you're the reason all cats are disgraced
He should be able to see he sucks... his eyes cover half of his face!
You were only famous cuz every show back then was wimpy
And even now you look like a reject from Ren & Stimpy
I'ma speed up your losing process. You can't combat w/ this, guy
Everybody can tell he lost...But I'd rather give this catalyst why:
You suck, you're skinny, ugly, old... you're a flake and it's a fact
At least your name helps...cuz it's too often you're mistaken for a rat

Vote up

Vote .

uppin........................

Aight, I'm gonna break this down for both of you. A lot of this will be negative, but keep in mind i'm just trying to help both of you get better.

Fuck a fat cat try n fight back wit wack rap I easilly handle ya
Have ya spittin sick when I leave ya OD'in after spikin ya lasagne *
Alright, first off, you shouldn't use something which has to explained like the OD part. Making me check ur * takes away from the punch. Also, felt the punch here was weak. Saying you'll spike his lasagne isn't really mean, ya feel me? Like, if u said that to me, it wouldn't go insult me. Go for the kill man
Hate mondays? shit happens like kits rappin so go ahead please bite
An i'll split ya down the centre so pussy ya got nothin left to right
again, this is more of a "threat" than a real punch. Saying you'll do something to him rather than dissing him on what he's already down. Also, ur dissing a cat, cats don't write, lol. Wordplay is here, but the way ya used it isn't logical for this setting
Aint talkin tale of 2 kitties though, when facin field a Ws no worry
Quick flurry of shots silence ya, like a cats got the tongue of Bill Murray
Again, ur relating thug life of shots n' the hood to Garfield. Doesn't make sense in this case. U gotta diss Garfield, not say what you'll do to him. Tongue of Bill Murray thing was a somewhat creative idea, now just make that into a punch.
So hurry an pre-write ya lil burbs type affraid to leave that cul de sac
I dont even feel like chinese food but in the booth i'll happily eat this cat
lol, this was pretty funny actually, just u shoulda used the chinese concept differently so it would be more of a punch. Like ur other lines, this is more of a statement. Saying u'll eat Garfield isn't a diss, even if its meant as in beating him.
Then pull ya back till it folds n cracks honestly though at least ginger tried
Use this punch ta crack ya jaw on the left side so ya finally gotta spit right
dawwggg, Garfield ain't spittin' raps, thats not in the cartoon. When u have a theme, diss them for whatever applies to them, I don't know much about Garfield, but I know he doesn't rap. U gotta do a bit more research.
1 more for the sake of using this link lol
Good job on doin' some research and finding the link. However, u really don't want to use links in battles, it forces them to redirect attention from your verse and makes it lose some of the effect. Personal here was okay, but he's not an MC anyway so this isn't a diss.
Leave this bum sprayed on a world stage you past played n I got ya
By the tail till ya whailed " I aint an MC, click here I really prefer soccer"

Docholiday: First off, u took the approach that Garfield is an MC. He's not, thats not the point of this battle. Thats my fault if I didn't explain that well so sorry about that. Also, u have too many statements. Alot of your bars say what you'll do to him and how u'll make him sick, shoot 'em, whatever, but u gotta diss him on more personals and be more direct. Read battles from other dudes in the league with good records to get the idea

vs.

Everybody knows me, yup, I've had my luck with stars
How good are you? Well, nobody knows... who the fuck you are!
The way you led this punch on with the ... was nicely done. However, this punch is played. I wrote a bar almost identical to this a few years ago. I've also seen others do it since then. When u write, think about how obvious the punch is. If its kinda simple like this one, chances are its been done. Just keep reading archived battles to see whats been done.
I'm struck bizarre, cuz when I look at your artist? I don't think skill
I think still, that Felix was a great result... of an ink spill
nah, this was kinda stupid man, a result of an ink spill? lol, thats kinda a corny diss. Also, what u were tryin' to do is called a recall style punch. Recalls are when u say a phrase like "think skill" and then use it again in the punchline, but differently. Problem is, u changed don't think skill to think still, so that kinda ruins the effect of a the recall. This line flows nice, but thats about it.
That's your verse? Please, you're the reason all cats are disgraced
He should be able to see he sucks... his eyes cover half of his face!
This diss was okay because its pretty true, hes got big eyes so that definately helps. Only thing that hurt his line a bit is u worded it corny. Generally anything with a ! is a corny line and the ! is used to try to make the reader laugh. Its an RB thing. When I was an RB head, I used to write a lot like ur writing now, but I changed when I left n' u'll need to as well becuz this corny thing really hurts how hard ur lines can hit.
You were only famous cuz every show back then was wimpy
And even now you look like a reject from Ren & Stimpy
This line was too basic. The reason is u didn't have wordplay like u did in the other lines and just blandly stated this. What u gotta do is, brainstorm things that relate to ren and stimpy. When u think of something that can be used as a punch, start the punchline with that, then turn that into the ren and stimpy thing. Can make this hit 100x harder
I'ma speed up your losing process. You can't combat w/ this, guy
Everybody can tell he lost...But I'd rather give this catalyst why:
catalyst wordplay is fresh man, ain't seen it and its really dope here cuz ur actually facin' a cat. Only thing is, this punch could have been worded more in a punch than a statement. This line is good, but if u had something like "I'd give this catalyst of his flaws, but there'd be a negative reaction to readin' it" - Thats stretched, but i tied the reaction thing into the catalyst idea. Just sayin' develop ur concepts more
You suck, you're skinny, ugly, old... you're a flake and it's a fact
At least your name helps...cuz it's too often you're mistaken for a rat
nah, not really he's not, and this is kinda a lame diss. To me, this was like calling a buff'd out dude a girl, its like "okay, no he's not", u know? Just think about ur punches and say them to urself and see if they really sound mean

-Coop-: Like I said in the mag, u have potential my man, u got the basic elements of punching down. Now, u just gotta work on a few things. First, u gotta work on being less corny. I'm sure u've read $pitacular, he's the best at it, he sounds real mean in his raps. U gotta develop more of an attitude cuz now a lot of ur stuff sounds like ur just tellin' a bunch of jokes. Also, u gotta develop ur concepts more. Ur concepts for the most part are fine, but u took the easy way out on a bunch of them and had endings that were too simple. Sometimes, thats fine, but often u can do more with your punches by adding more wit

Overall: Felt both of you could have come better. doc, u had the chinese concept that was cool, but that was about it. Coop had much better punches that related more to the topic and was more to the point. I got -Coop- winning here.

Vote - -Coop-

So hurry an pre-write ya lil burbs type affraid to leave that cul de sac
I dont even feel like chinese food but in the booth i'll happily eat this cat


vs.


I'm struck bizarre, cuz when I look at your artist? I don't think skill
I think still, that Felix was a great result... of an ink spill


Doc's punch was played, but it was okay. I disagree with Trus on the inkspill punch, I actually liked it. Flow was nice and he didn't need the recall just the fact that the cat is like black and white and could look like an inkspill is enough of a punch. I didn't like the catalyst because it wasn't worked in well and I've seen the wordplay. However, I still think that both of these facts at all outshined doc's verse pretty much completely that's why Coop gets my vote.


V/ -Coop-

-LINKS-

-1-http://community.rapverse.com/showpost.php?p=3160492&postcount=8
-2-http://community.rapverse.com/showpost.php?p=3160495&postcount=8
-3-http://community.rapverse.com/showpost.php?p=3160497&postcount=7
-4-http://community.rapverse.com/showpost.php?p=3160505&postcount=9
-5-http://community.rapverse.com/showpost.php?p=3160508&postcount=10

Fuck a fat cat try n fight back wit wack rap I easilly handle ya
Have ya spittin sick when I leave ya OD'in after spikin ya lasagne *
Decent
Hate mondays? shit happens like kits rappin so go ahead please bite
An i'll split ya down the centre so pussy ya got nothin left to right
Meh
Aint talkin tale of 2 kitties though, when facin field a Ws no worry
Quick flurry of shots silence ya, like a cats got the tongue of Bill Murray
Nah didnt feel
So hurry an pre-write ya lil burbs type affraid to leave that cul de sac
I dont even feel like chinese food but in the booth i'll happily eat this cat
lol, this was funny actually
Then pull ya back till it folds n cracks honestly though at least ginger tried
Use this punch ta crack ya jaw on the left side so ya finally gotta spit right
Nah...
Leave this bum sprayed on a world stage you past played n I got ya
By the tail till ya whailed " I aint an MC, click here I really prefer soccer"
Okish

1 funny line, 2 decent, rest wasn't feeling much, good try though

Vss

Everybody knows me, yup, I've had my luck with stars
How good are you? Well, nobody knows... who the fuck you are!
Nah, Felix was the cat with the yellow bag, he owned lol
I'm struck bizarre, cuz when I look at your artist? I don't think skill
I think still, that Felix was a great result... of an ink spill
Liked this
That's your verse? Please, you're the reason all cats are disgraced
He should be able to see he sucks... his eyes cover half of his face!
lol cool
You were only famous cuz every show back then was wimpy
And even now you look like a reject from Ren & Stimpy
lol, this was pretty funny
I'ma speed up your losing process. You can't combat w/ this, guy
Everybody can tell he lost...But I'd rather give this catalyst why:
Good wp for bein a cat, you coulda used this dope lol why did you use it as a filler for ya last bar?
You suck, you're skinny, ugly, old... you're a flake and it's a fact
At least your name helps...cuz it's too often you're mistaken for a rat
Kinda see resemblence, it was decent

Coop came better with more consistancy, but I did laugh at the chineese food/cat thing pretty hard it was cool... but from Dc that was basically it. So with more consistancy & more better punches

V// Coop

docholiday:
Fuck a fat cat try n fight back wit wack rap I easilly handle ya
Have ya spittin sick when I leave ya OD'in after spikin ya lasagne *
^WTF. This was kinda lame. 0.5/5
Hate mondays? shit happens like kits rappin so go ahead please bite
An i'll split ya down the centre so pussy ya got nothin left to right
^Concept is played. Decent punch tho. 1/5
Aint talkin tale of 2 kitties though, when facin field a Ws no worry
Quick flurry of shots silence ya, like a cats got the tongue of Bill Murray
^Blah. Nothing much happening. 1/5
So hurry an pre-write ya lil burbs type affraid to leave that cul de sac
I dont even feel like chinese food but in the booth i'll happily eat this cat
^Heh. Concept was alright. Punch was ok. 1/5
Then pull ya back till it folds n cracks honestly though at least ginger tried
Use this punch ta crack ya jaw on the left side so ya finally gotta spit right
^Another left/right play? Nah. 0.5/5
Leave this bum sprayed on a world stage you past played n I got ya
By the tail till ya whailed " I aint an MC, click here I really prefer soccer"
^Hm. Not really feeling this. 1/5



vs.



Coop:
Everybody knows me, yup, I've had my luck with stars
How good are you? Well, nobody knows... who the fuck you are!
^This was ok. 1/5
I'm struck bizarre, cuz when I look at your artist? I don't think skill
I think still, that Felix was a great result... of an ink spill
^Hah. A funny diss. 2/5
That's your verse? Please, you're the reason all cats are disgraced
He should be able to see he sucks... his eyes cover half of his face!
^Lmao. Another funny diss. 2/5
You were only famous cuz every show back then was wimpy
And even now you look like a reject from Ren & Stimpy
^This was alright. 1.5/5
I'ma speed up your losing process. You can't combat w/ this, guy
Everybody can tell he lost...But I'd rather give this catalyst why:
^This was pretty nice. 2.5/5
You suck, you're skinny, ugly, old... you're a flake and it's a fact
At least your name helps...cuz it's too often you're mistaken for a rat
^Lmao. This was decent. 1.5/5



Overall this was pretty one-sided. doc' came pretty weak, didn't have too many hard hitting punches. Could of done better. Coop came pretty correct. Some lines were whack, others were pretty cool. Easy vote.






VOTE = Coop.

One-sided battle allthe way. Doc dropped better than some of the cats (pun intended) in theother matches, but he wasn't matching coop in this one. The first left to right was alright, played concept but cool flip. Chinese food line was meh ill give it to you though. Coop was just waaaaayyy more consistent, not to mention hard hitting. Ink spill, see he sucks and catalyst lines we're nice.

Vote - Coop

__________________

"Only god can judge me, but I'm atheist so you do the math..."

nuttin really,, no hate

vs
I'm struck bizarre, cuz when I look at your artist? I don't think skill
I think still, that Felix was a great result... of an ink spill
That's your verse? Please, you're the reason all cats are disgraced
He should be able to see he sucks... his eyes cover half of his face!

v//coop

__________________
<< a problem. ya smizz me