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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
04-14-05, 04:09 AM
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#1
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FiVe SoUrCe CeO
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Frustration
IP: 1ADC A69C
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=186118
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=186108 I've had multiple problems like multiple partners Distraught becuz I'm locked up..in quandary, wandering Wondering ominously, dumbfounded becuz I'm some clown Which is one crown I won proud..'til I become endowed with Allowance, astounded I'm a son grounded, profound shit The town in which I'm found don't allow it, progression It's full of kids fakin' friends..they envy, no question Within me is blessin'..suppressed by limestone, I'm known To rhyme cold, it's only reaction to what my eyes behold My family naggin' da fuck..I'm baggin' my luck it's lackin' I'm buckin' at wack kids..fuckin' black chicks, braggin' I'm corruptin' the fag sense..confused views skewed and bruised Endless horrendous news..all alone becuz it's what I choose Whose hell I'm stuck in..you can have it back, becuz it's used I'm sick of weekend fathers they're weak imposters, speakin' Parts of speech replete with 'faux pas'..seek the lost young I'm foster-like becuz I'm lost in life..Austin-like Texas The lone-star stone heart, voodoo doll it like the hex shit I'm desperate at this second..where's love and happiness The world's mud and crappy kids..I hurl at sappy shit Eclipsed by stern purging..only encouraging word, splurging Every 'kern' I earn..disparaging parenting buried me Surging like AC/DC disparity..hey, see me Deceased and parody, ev-ery surly terror, see I'm frustrated...a touch jaded, much hated I drop shades of truth, but Tha Q is degraded uh |
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04-15-05, 03:26 AM
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#2
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FiVe SoUrCe CeO
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IP: 1ADC A69C
this should not be slept on
nope 1 |
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04-15-05, 05:28 AM
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#3
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New to RV
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IP: CDAA 2D0A
pretty decent coulda been betta but decent...
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04-15-05, 11:14 AM
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#4
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GoD LiKe
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IP: 9793 9749
This was ok could have been a lil longer but you had good imagery and nice wording. good multies..
Overal solid peice and some pretty deep shit... Q you should try and do poetry i think you would be good at it....
__________________
I am Here To Save You All    
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04-15-05, 12:03 PM
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#5
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FiVe SoUrCe CeO
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IP: 1230 1904
^^^^I do write poetry
1 |
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04-15-05, 12:55 PM
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#6
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GoD LiKe
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IP: 9793 9749
well i did not know that,,,,
PEACE
__________________
I am Here To Save You All
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04-15-05, 05:02 PM
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#7
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FiVe SoUrCe CeO
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IP: 1ADC A69C
^^^^Iz all good homie
1 |
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04-15-05, 05:31 PM
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#8
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Flyweight
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IP: 90DE 7E67
ummmmmmmmmmm
yo that shit was nice..big up to you kiddo.......your structure had me lost a couple of times........but ither than that.......i liked it.....
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04-15-05, 06:07 PM
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#9
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New to RV
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IP: 76FB F2DB
Oooo talking about decent flow. Shit was nice, good vocab. Nice emotion, the imaginary should be Upp a little, put some more details in your verse. You saying you write "poetry" Thats cool, cause i felt the emotion off this verse, upp it a little. Multi'z in this verse was good. The rhyme scheme is totally different, liking your style. ONe leave feedback in my O.M "Love story" Please RTF
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 "An eye for an eye only leaves the world blind" - Mahatma Ghandi
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04-16-05, 04:32 AM
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#10
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FiVe SoUrCe CeO
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IP: 1ADC A69C
^^^Im not sayin I write poetry as the reason for this piece...I'm saying i ALSO write poetry...
nah mean 1 appreciate da feed tho |
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