10 - 16 lines
Usual Votin Rulez no hata's no d/r no crew
Constructive critism only
Must spit as soon as you check in, must check in today.

Im checking in now.....

check........

this fool marvel-arm, hes just a fuckin lightweight
hes da cat us niggas love to hate
muthafuks 26, he should have a job
but he just to lazy and he acts like a nob
look at his name , it puts him to shame
WHO THE FUCK AM I
im the fool whos gunna make you cry
just step down
gimme the crown
you aint shit in this world of rap
im a pop a slug in ur ass and make u snap
well gota go, i ned my ounce of crack

Ok Ok Check this:
He's a student taking a beating as his course,
But how can you beat me without your magic torch.
Jamie your slip sliding and your only 17,
So baby why you crying? its the point to be mean?
Why'd you be an MC, getting hurt in the process,
You couldnt remember the cheers and didnt fit ya dress.
Why ya mouf open, are you catching flies?
Im battlin a plant that even bee's pass by.
You Goofy mutha fucker but you aint no dawg,
When princesses kiss you you turn back to a frog.

10 lines
He's a student
Jamie and the Magic torch TV cartoon
He's only 17 yrs

vote= marvel arm
no offense Jamie but his verse just came off harder
way better structure n wordplay, I enjoyed it more
peAce 2 both

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. - Feeble Minded

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the one that watches the watchmen:

up 1................................................. .................

[B]Flow[/B] - Marvel-Arm had decent flow and strucutre, which
Jamie's seriously lacked.
Punches- Marvel-Arm also took him here. While his punches
were played and kinda weak, they were enough to do
the job. Jamie attempted to use punches but they
were too simple and were very weak.
Personals- Due to the fact that Jamie had no personals, Marvel- Arm gets it.He Had two personal, although weak,
about J's age and that he's a student.
Vocab-Nothing special here pretty basic from both
[B]Creativity[/B]- Not much creativity in this one, but I'd have to say
that Marvel came more creative.
Overall- No much of a battle. Jamie needs to seriously work
on using punches and personals. As well as his vocab
and structure. Marvel-Arm had decent flow and
structure, but needs to be a little more creative in his
vocab and punches. I can't officially vote, but If
I could I would have to vote: Marvel- Arm

Vote on these fuckin' battles:

apathy vs. Gravity
apathy vs. jamie

I didn't want to post again but, the links I included with my feedback on
the battle are fucked up. These battles really need to get voted on, Sorry
Thanks & Peace.

apathy vs. gravity
apathy vs. jamie

Vote: marvel

Much better verse all round...actually
threw meaningful punches.....flow
was flawless and structure was there

Hit up the topical battle in the link

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112266

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. - Feeble Minded

this fool marvel-arm, hes just a fuckin lightweight
hes da cat us niggas love to hate
ok your rhyme schem starts ok.. the set seemed like it would have been dope but lacked a punch
muthafuks 26, he should have a job
but he just to lazy and he acts like a nob
basicline, had filler ish in it to much
look at his name , it puts him to shame
WHO THE FUCK AM I
filler type ish
im the fool whos gunna make you cry
just step down
to much boasting about ones self.. talk more about him
gimme the crown
you aint shit in this world of rap
follow through had basic punch, but way lacking stength
im a pop a slug in ur ass and make u snap
well gota go, i ned my ounce of crack
crack kills the mind, keep away from it. Filler type ish lines.. and you needed more of a punch

not bad for three days, lol.. Over all i would say work on yourpunchlines, diss your opponent, make fun of them.. after that try for wittyness you know metaphors and wordplay and such.. Keep up the practice though kid, dontlet cats get you down


He's a student taking a beating as his course,
But how can you beat me without your magic torch.
eh alright opening.. nt much of a punch though really lacked strength
Jamie your slip sliding and your only 17,
So baby why you crying? its the point to be mean?
o thought yourset up was going some were but it sort of fell off.. Not much of a hard punch, directed in a since
Why'd you be an MC, getting hurt in the process,
You couldnt remember the cheers and didnt fit ya dress.
wtf?! Evil had a bar in his rhyme that sounded liek this one to.. in a since, his played off Jamie being a cheerleader... Plus he used a line that sounded like one of mine from Cypher.. Hmm i dunno sounds like he MAYBE have a POSSIBILITIE of biting.. Or an accident.. either or punch was weak to
Why ya mouf open, are you catching flies?
Im battlin a plant that even bee's pass by.
weak punchline, you could have upped a little on the content and went for a slightly diffrent approach
You Goofy mutha fucker but you aint no dawg,
When princesses kiss you you turn back to a frog.
eh.. this line is alright.. not really diggin it though could have been more...

Over all this battle seemed one sided, Marel had just been at it longer.. Over all a newbie ish type battle.. M you had some decent punchs but need to build up there strength, and then work on your metaphors..

vote-The marvel Arm

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112456

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