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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
10-21-04, 12:07 AM
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#1
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A Reflection Of The Past
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lyric vs adamant
IP: 88C4 C811
RULES:
Check Ins Must Be In By Friday Or Your Topic Wont Be Given... If Check Ins Are In Then You Will Be Given A topic To Write About... Poems Then Must Be In By Sunday And Voting Will Be Over On Tuesday... 15 to 30 lines no crew votes no hate votes no d/r votes Topic: A long days wait GOOD LUCK
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Crhyme Sindicate
Last edited by Kaotic.Theory : 10-21-04 at 01:12 AM. |
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10-21-04, 12:41 AM
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#2
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Flyweight
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
checkers
. . . .
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be what you speak, never speak on what you be -Sole |
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10-21-04, 01:00 AM
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#3
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Da KiNg Of PwNaGe
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IP: 7753 EEA0
chess
. . . . |
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10-24-04, 08:49 PM
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#4
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Flyweight
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
It was a lazy Sunday afternoon as i walked across my grave gazing past my tomb confused assuming i'd lost the way when God had played his chips an paper in favor of my behavior i'd came to the plate but became afraid so with satan i ditched the savior but shit's the same here the rain appears in this weird mysterious fashion ashamed the tears mirror the peers that just adhere to cash in on the passion of the bastard who plastered his scripture in the classroom attacked the last youth who tagged epitaths on the casts of sad truths and had you asked whom it was that tugged the rug from beneath my feet i would have answered it was the cancer that had entranced earth's beat breath in now breath out the doubts that drowned and pound the sentences forever dissmisive of the clowns when the frown is where the intrest is and in most instances a princess lives amidst the changing climates though i suggest you keep your distance kid from these vicious primates for crime rates are cheap and peeps seek to keep the market flooded martyrs discarded just like carpets by the heartless bludgeoned the garbage i'd trudged in then rushed in to accept a sex deception except for 2-D artists it's the hardest to harness depth perception the greatest collection of shards rip fixin to kiss the carnage take an eraser to her face until this pain is garnished
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be what you speak, never speak on what you be -Sole Last edited by Adamant : 10-25-04 at 01:05 AM. |
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10-25-04, 12:44 AM
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#5
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Da KiNg Of PwNaGe
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IP: 7753 EEA0
Thet sat huddled in the night on sea of green grass Had been there for hours, relaxing and letting time pass A family of five, enjoying free time under the evening sky Not happiness deprived, you could see it in their eyes The three kids ran circles around their parents, endless energy The air was crisp with anticipation, cloudless skys were meant to be The children were excited, they had been waiting all day for night They remembered last year, what happened after the light On a hill a top a park, more families began to arrive Weary but excited, after the painstakingly long drive 50 miles from the nearest home, the hill stood all alone Surrounded by acres of nothingness, were authentic nature was sewn I group of vans pulled up, about a half mile away Shadows in the distance, a miniture display A hush came over the croud, as there eyes all trasfixed On the figures setting up, off in the distance A secret spot so to say, that few people knew was here The hill was always deserted, 364 days out fo the year But that one day was special, for people made the drive To sit atop the hill and marvel... ...At the fireworks of the 4th of July Last edited by Lyric : 10-25-04 at 01:22 AM. |
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10-25-04, 02:32 AM
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#6
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A Reflection Of The Past
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
damn....
adamant man i liked your poem man it was nice,your's i would say was more complex,and the vocab was sick with it,your structure was cool too even tho structure dont matter to much in a poem but yeah it was clean status,aswell was the imagery put into your poem,but i didnt feel alot of emotion in it..but there was a little lyric you my friend did very well in this too,your imagery,emotion...was all the way there in the poem and that was dope,you had good expression and details put into your piece which helps the reader visualize what happinning and shit you feel,,and your vocab was okay in this nothing bad really -overall- you both had pretty well writtin poems here in this battle,but i feel lyric took this with overall better imagery,emotion and self expression,adament you came clean with the vocab and the imagery andshit but it wasn't enough,as i sad in predictions i knew this would be a great battle...thank you both v/lyric
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Crhyme Sindicate
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10-25-04, 02:34 AM
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#7
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-BTR-
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
i vote for Lyric.
his verse stayed on topic. although not really much vocab he stayed with the topic. adamant had some really good vocab but jus kinda drifted away. both had good poems though........ |
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