Verses Due: Saturday, January 24th 2004
Voting Ends: Monday, January 26th 2004

Topic: Throw Some Out

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Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

In...

As Time Slips & Each Line Fits
My Mind Grips The Image Of Your Devine Lips
Your Smile's Lit & Bright
So When I Look For It At Night.. I Find It
Its Right.. Where I Left It.. Behind My Sight
Eyes Close Tight .. But Stay Wide Open To You
Been Gone With No Return.. Im Still Hoping You Do
Ive Roped In A Few.. Boo's & Ho's
They Were Nothing So I Didnt Mind Losing Those
Its Like I've Been Moving Slow..
Every Since Your Yes's Began Moving To No's
Still Think About Removing Your Clothes...
Smoothing Your Skin With Its Soothing Tones..
Wish You Didn't Choose To Go..
But You Did & The Choice Was Yours..
I Still Smell Your Sent.. Its Stays Moist In My Pours..
& My Voice Is Sore.. Your Name Stays Repeated..
I Wasn't Blind To Your Needs..
Just To Lame To See Them..
Im Trapped In Shame .. But I Cant Blame Your Freedom
Cause Im Locked Into My Self With A Cage Of Deamons
I Know You Think Thats Strange For A Reason..
Its Not... Inside Me Is Where Your Danger Was Breathing..
You Are Sane For Leaving..
I Came Into It Decieving.. Simply Maimed The Truth
Good Intentions Turned Bad & Aimed At You..
You Had Love In Sight.. But The Game Was My View..
Cause Other Relationships.. Yea, I Arranged A Few
Engaged To You & You Knew.. So I Stayed Accused
Some Rages Flew.. Fists Were Raised & Let Down With Force
Now.. Im Pissed At Those Days & Have Since Found The Source..
Been Around The Courts..
Divorce, Domestic Violence..& Charges Of All Sorts
But... Look At The Cost? I Lost The Only Thing That Mattered
All Because I Had To Be The Boss.. Leaving You Beaten & Battered
I Think I've Defeated The Pattern.. Stoped Cheating & Being A Bastard

Forgiveness Is The Only Thing Im Asking..
Leave The Bad Memories In The Trash.. Along With The Doubts
Cause Lord Knows I Definately Had To Throw Some Out...

Im Sorry

Emotionless bodies, people blocked by their own futures
They can't help where they lived, The mind of the shooter
Where his rage lives, demented, and twisted, no doubt
He was used to winnin, At the cost of a Life Losin Out
We blame the invisible ghost, who wasn't known by Him though
We know the Ghost can change into anything...
...So we convince him to turn into the Scapegoat
So the killer leaves blameless, But he leaves without his soul
And the soul continues on seprately, and here we have a ghost..

So many things wrong with our Government, because their so Stout
Dealin with so many of the results...Of their takin the wroung Route
We don't know about this.. They claim these people don't exist
Or they did die...in the 18 minutes someone slits their wrists
But they lived..Families know, Most Know without A Doubt
But the Killer and his Victims don't exist...
Because like Most of their Garbage..their thrown Out..

Voted for- Auspicious v/ Born To Kill
Rule v/ N-Lit End
Dev v/ Bigg E.Z

__________________
Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?!

Wow..Both These Verses Were Very Well Writtin, I Enjoyed The Different Aproaches.

Evolve- Good story line, you expressed your self throughly and very impressive and the emotion bit..you drew a nice picture. Also the flow..it was nice the way it rolled.
My faverite line was this...

Im Trapped In Shame .. But I Cant Blame Your Freedom
Cause Im Locked Into My Self With A Cage Of Deamons

That was really powerful. More quotable lines but i'm not gunna.

Well Done.

Skiddz- Unique piece. I enjoyed it's realness and the value you had to it. The flow was good but the story line was neat. easy to follow i really enjoyed the last line..because it is very true...probably...i don't no much about gov.

Over all...I am going to go with evolve on this..even though it was really close.

V: Evolve

Good Job Both Of You..Both Excellent Reads.

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Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

I'd have to go with Evolve's verse as well...

His was just easier to understand and flow with.

Told a story, and provided real nice emotion and imagery.

Skiddz was dope too, no doubt.

The message came across strong, and the meaning was tight.

Important.

But I couldn't grasp any imagery on this.

It's like I was reading a billboard.

A real hard-hitting billboard, but nonetheless, this came across as somewhat emotionless to me.

Maybe that's what you were going for, symbolizing the government's point of view towards us...

If ya did, kudos...

But I was still moved more by Evolve's cry for forgiveness.
Maybe it was his great imagery, definately the heartfelt emotion, and...maybe...it's because I've asked for similar forgiveness.

Great verses...

But, Evolve

Peace

__________________
Merkings will occur Monday thru Friday, 8 am thru 5 pm, C.S.T.
For my convenience, not yours!

Evolve...
I love the imagry in your piece...It had an easy flow to read, would have came off better had it been audio...i like the approach of the pleading boyfriend/husband...the vocab use was good, but it seemed that a few more would have been better...good word choice through out...

Skiddz...
I think your approach definetly hurt your piece... I enjoyed how you showed a killers point of view, that part had nice content...i felt it hurt your piece because the transition to the next part was too abrubt... while both parts have a comman theme, i dont think you put enough into both to solidify them as a whole...if you made a middle verse about the victims view, or expanded on the killer, etc...I felt the 2 parts could have made a better transition...

vote: Evolve

skiddz your approach wus pretty creative...
but evolve was more related to his topic and better...
he had better multis and his piece wus well written..
skiddz also a well written piece but didnt have what
i thought i would look for in it good job by both...
but i gotta give it to evolve for a better aproach to this topic
and an overall better verse good job both

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SyaNidal \v/ Diverse

....Tragic..Death..I....

....Tragic..Death..II....

This was a nice battle to judge ...

Evolve came with a deep and dope take on the topic ... Well written piece ... Nicely planed and thought out ... Flow of the piece was consistant and easy to follow ... Story was dope ... Drew me in from the begginin' to the end ... Dope way to wrap it up ... Nice job

Skiddz had a decent verse ... A different take on the topic ... Which was dope also ... Well written ... But hard to follow at times ... In my opinion I thought U should have spent more time on ur verse and U probably would have got it ... It seemed like U rushed on this ... That could be seen in the end of ur verse ... I didn't really like the way U wrapped it up ... But all in all I liked the verse because of the take on it ... Nice job

My vote's gonna have to go to Evolve on this battle ... I felt his verse mroe as a whole ... Seemed mroe thought out and was brought together in the end better ... Nice job tho fellas was a good read ...

Vote - Evolve

^^
Skiddz, your story was great, but the change form verse one to verse two was retarted....there was no transition or it lacked something.

Honestly thats the only thing that seperated these two peices.
'Volve was on point with the story, kind of like that apporach better myself.

Vote: 'Volve

Quick Reminder: You still have to vote on 3 other battles
Edit your votes into your check in

SkiddZ had an interesting story..but I didn't know How I felt about the changing of the verses..
Evolve story had the concept..nicely approached..
Vocab and flow on both were good..these were dope verses..
But My vote goes to Evolve..

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Soft Focus
Suicide Inc.
RhymeVantage
Def.Ill
Ghost-Writers

Retarded people's heads are to big..I'll be back with something just as funny as watching the Special Olympics..don't worry..

these were both dope verses, but i too go with evolve's, i found it hit harder with emotion and had a bigger impact, and held an interesting story. i did like skiddz's different look on the topic and way of approaching it thou, but the 2 verse thing threw me off.

~Tera~
DONT HATE

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yup, i'm with everyone else.. evolve took this.. he just came on point better and i didn't really like the flippin that one on in skiddz verse.. so e edged tthis..
vote evolve

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