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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
05-31-05, 08:23 PM
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#1
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ArtÃ-stica~Mente vs. Cali
IP: BC9E 8B9A
Battles up Monday - Check In by Wednesday - Drop by Friday - Votes by Sunday
No line limit and the battler with most votes by Sunday night is the winner. If this is a topical battle, write a topical and not a poetic drop and the same is vice a versa. All Battlers must vote on 4 other battles and leave their voting links in their battle thread. Battles voted on may be from either poetry or topical battles. If vote threads aren't in your poetry battle thread by sunday you will suffer a loss by Disqualification. Extensions must be asked for by Thursday night by pming any of the mods (Acuity, Drama Queen & Elementality). No extensions will be given 4 if asked 4 on Friday night. Extensions are only given till Sunday night at the most. If you dont ask for an extention, and drop whenever you feel like it you will be Disqualified. Do not abuse extentions, they are not to be used if you're just too lazy to drop within the confines of the circumstances. Leave reasonable explanation for your absense. If the League notices you are a slacker due to this nature you will be banned for being out-right slothfully callous. Every battler must nominate (not their own) one topical and poetry battle for pieces of the week, in the main forum . People with pieces of the week shall have their drops stickied and placed in the Pieces Of Inspiration sub forum Don't ho-show because you will be banned if you do it twice. We can understand you cannot drop due to certain circumstances but if this happens a second time, you're banned from the league for 2 weeks. If you signed up for both leagues and you no-show in one league twice, you will be banned in both leagues! Try to limit the freeposts, we will have a chat/beef thread for that. Also give fully explained votes, if not your votes won't count! Your Topic: Sleepwalk Capsules
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05-31-05, 09:23 PM
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#2
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Poet's Daughter.
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IP: F3DD BD4D
Checking in........................................ GRANTED EXTENSION UNTILL SATURDAY MIDNIGHT...  ACUITY, DQ AND ELEMENTALITY
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mystery Is a Freak!! ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life. Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8 ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do. Smartone Freal:  ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged* Last edited by Acuity : 06-04-05 at 08:11 AM. |
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05-31-05, 11:02 PM
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#3
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STROBE's Favorite Rapper
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IP: 3240 794D
this guys pretty good guess ill add him to my victim list
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Overall Rapverse Record Including Leagues 94-29
R.I.P RAPVERSE
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06-02-05, 12:47 PM
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#4
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STROBE's Favorite Rapper
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IP: 28AD 5545
Sleepwalk Capsules
Legs weary,Feet scared,Back heavy,weight of the world on my shoulders Back hunched,chest weezing,arms weak stumbling slumped over Spine cracking like thunder accross mountainsides,the pressure collapsing my frame My pain like insane mindframes thoughts cracked like .......stained glass Patterns of colorfull textures pictures of life smashed Dark images tattered and slashed I bash down dark fortress walls resurrected around a palace of hearts Lightening comes down striking the ground dark clouds where i walk Capsules of truth break down easily into powder or more power as i know they contain I no longer feel the pain or shame my body sleeps as my soul reaches a higher plain The rainbows cascade in a million colors of gems and stones As i dig myself deeper to prepare my grave around men of flesh and bones Reality is a mist of pictures,a commericial in my vast movie of exisitence So my reality is not reality its my truth in a world of ficiton Listen....................... Hear the screams of those forgotten as they cut the air like sharp blades Beds made with care textures of soft cotton but no shield from the hard days Eyes blurry,mind worried,nightmares overshadow heavenly thoughts At what cost has my soul been bought am i truely lost? A dark wraith in a dark waste land the valley of death Yet who judges a man when hes the only one who remains left? Reality returns and i fear the burn of truth as it rears to the surface As i writh in brimestone and slowly sucumb to the serpant Explanation Oxicottion is a drug its called hill billy herion its a pill which has a built in time release mechanisim to release pain relief in your body.If broken down and sniffed it has the same effect as herion but stronger and is a call A drug widely used and abused very expensive and very hard to get it puts you into a sleep state like herion which is called nodding it is highly addicted and makes you feel horrible if use is stopped or a high is unable to be obtained.If use is stopped you can die from withdrawal.The high is claimed to be incrediable so i guess you can call oxicotton a sleepwalk capsule
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Overall Rapverse Record Including Leagues 94-29
R.I.P RAPVERSE
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06-04-05, 06:48 PM
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#5
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Poet's Daughter.
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IP: A54F 64DD
http://img1.imagetitan.com/img.php?d=1/3&n=cal.jpg RED= THE MOTHER As I sit at the cafeteria with food in my hand, munching on a piece of bread silence is being erupts by voices of conversations and laughters Feeling so depresed, and sad, but no tears are being showed No sound is talking to me, not a his or her voice. I dont have friends The only sound I hear that is talking to me is my own heart beats Asking myself why was I born on this earth? I've came out the wrong womb My life shouldnt be like this, god wouldn't let it, I guess god does makes mistakes Something disturb my way of thinking, My muscles starts to get tense Then I saw "him" in the corner of my eye, fear crept in me fast as lightning Felt his skin, touching mines. I start to shiver, goose bumps appears A force lunge across my left jaw, then my whole body lands on the cold floor Shivering in my bed, with the bloody bed sheets over my ache constitution The force and the images of big powerful fist, making me leak into tears He command sex, and i refuse. The punishment, was so hurtful and twinge Being thrown on the floor. my Ribs getting lacerate. My screams are being deaf I was struggling, but he was so much stronger. The look in his eyes is what fright me THe fist is what started this pain. The force from it, is what blacked me out to the darkness I woke up, in the middle of the day. Silence was all round me, then i felt something under my dress Put my hand on my vagina. I burst into tears when knowing that still a condom was inside of me My body on the ground with an ache jaw, my head just fill with pain I felt the horse-power of his kick, onto my rips. I scream in agony Like an baby, with my hands and knee's i crawl, with heavily breathing Again with the kick, but now like an leak fountain, blood spills out of my mouth Everytime i move, the pain just keeps getting worser and worse. I might as well die, here right now cause i dont have anything to live for. I'm trapped in the alcahmist of hate, the pit of the darkness, shit just let me die. But no, with a burst of energry exploding in my legs, i got up and run I feel the cold wind blow on my face, the snow landing on my head. Running and running, while the snow tracks lead to my house I enter the house, and the eruption of the silence i first heard, was my mom weeping Didn't want to try to conceal her tears, cause she's worthless. Haven't done anything for me She never protected me, when my tummy starts to get hungry, there's no food on the table I quickly run up-stairs with the agony of my ribs and my jaw still spitting out blood Enter through the bathroom, door. Flicked on the lights and walk towards the medicine cabnit Saw my face on in the mirror, and words starts to slur in my head. "Your nothing" My quiver lips turns to a frown expression, my eyes starts to get red, tears pour Without thinking, or hesitating a whole of white pills slids down my throat. I can hear the crunches as i move my jaw, and the gulps When i swollow Dizzyness i starts to feel, my heart beats starts to slow down, the dark is merging in my sights With my mouth full open and my body lays silent on the floor with the pills in my hand I will always remember this when i died..................."YOUR NOTHING" BLAH SLEEPING PILLS...........QUICK KEY.
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mystery Is a Freak!! ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life. Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8 ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do. Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged* |
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06-05-05, 07:12 AM
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#6
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Rastafari Walk Tall
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IP: C83E AEF9
CALI --> I liked your approach using a person abusing oxicotton drug...but naturally being your main topic of approach as a druggy in the procss of using the drug, your poem was a lot of description, and the imakes u created were nice like here:
Legs weary,Feet scared,Back heavy,weight of the world on my shoulders Back hunched,chest weezing,arms weak stumbling slumped over Spine cracking like thunder accross mountainsides,the pressure collapsing my frame My pain like insane mindframes thoughts cracked like .......stained glass ^^dopeness..and the image created is vivid...However, there were a lot of flaws to your poem your structure made your content attimes hard to follow, due to the disrupted flow of your ideas, your vocab was on a high level and well used...Also, as ive sed 90% of your drop was description of the high the druggy was having...and you failed to talk about the emotion that was goin through his head..this is evidednced clearly by you only using the word "I" twice in your drop amongst other things...your rhymescheme is decent... nice drop overall, just some minor issues..keep droppin and continuing to elevate, we can all do more of this artisctica ments --->LMAO at your link...kinda doesnt set the mood man lol..put shit like that in your check ins next time...reading, and man 1st thing wheneva ur finished writing a poem CHECK FOR MOTHAFUCKIN SPELLING MISTAKES....you have a hella load of spelling errors, fix that shit next time...altho its gd as it shows ur using words that ur thinking of and not just using a theasaurus in microsoft word lol....this drop is dripping with emotion and its got a huge shock factor..the verse by the mother is straight raw man, but you described her fear and pain well, wihout being too cliched...: I was struggling, but he was so much stronger. The look in his eyes is what fright me THe fist is what started this pain. The force from it, is what blacked me out to the darkness I woke up, in the middle of the day. Silence was all round me, then i felt something under my dress Put my hand on my vagina. I burst into tears when knowing that still a condom was inside of me ^^raw man, thats poetry almost at its best, fix structure and syllables though, emotion,imagery and content..ill you structure is neat and concise for 95% of your drp, and your lines flow well, as with CALI when you do describe the image screated are vivid and easy to see....You came from a less original perpesctive than CALI, but you did it almost flawlessly..solid drop...ill b looking 2 face you in the playoffs..you got a natural affinity to poetry... this was battle of the week 4sho VOTE = artitica mente ppl vote plz...dnt jus read their drops and not have the courtesy to vote...
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"His Imperial Majesty Haile Selassie I, Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah, King of Kings of Ethiopia and Elect of God" Blog Graphic Designer, Illustrator, Web Designer |
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06-05-05, 07:35 AM
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#7
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Poet's Daughter.
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IP: 5BEF 4246
Quote:
WORD TO THAT...................................
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mystery Is a Freak!! ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life. Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8 ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do. Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged* |
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06-05-05, 08:36 AM
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#8
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**the council**
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IP: B7D8 35E0
o.k....two really nice drops here and a real nice battle so good job to both........
Cali- you used nice imagery in your drop....it had depth and originality and that was good....emotion was nice to but your structure i felt let this drop down and as a result the flow was slightly off.......i liked the way the opening few lines really captured the readers attention and made you wanna read on....very good Artistica- powerful imagery in your drop and emotion......i loved the way that you portarayed how the mother was feeling....and your emotion was nice in this part.....your drop was very creative and your vocab was a ballance of complex and simple.....your structure was on point and consistent throughout..... vote- artistica.....for creativity, enjoyment and structure..........
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06-05-05, 11:07 AM
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#9
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Rastafari Walk Tall
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IP: C83E AEF9
so far...Tweety 2 CALI 0
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"His Imperial Majesty Haile Selassie I, Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah, King of Kings of Ethiopia and Elect of God" Blog Graphic Designer, Illustrator, Web Designer |
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06-05-05, 11:48 AM
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#10
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IP: A0C8 44A9
Cali- You had some really wicked imagery in this drop....It had some good originality in it. I liked how you wrote it about a person abusing drugs....Emotion wasn't as good as it could have been, but there was still a lot. If you were to re-write this with a better strucure you could have gotten a better flow, and it woulda been a lot nicer. I think that was your downfall. Good drop, my favourite part was the opening..
Tweety - This was a crazy good drop for Imagery and Emotion. The emotion was very powerfull, exspecially in the mother's part. Great idea to approach this topic, it was very original, and was a very good read. You had a great structure that made the flow great in this piece. Very nice drop here... Vote: Tweety |
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06-06-05, 12:23 AM
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#11
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STROBE's Favorite Rapper
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IP: 3240 794D
due to extenstion giivng on drop voting is extended until monday nite
__________________
Overall Rapverse Record Including Leagues 94-29
R.I.P RAPVERSE
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06-06-05, 01:29 PM
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#12
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IP: BC9E 8B9A
In light of your voting modus operandi Im going to vote as you would on this battle cali.
Cali > I didnt like your approach on this one because it is just to obvious of one. I feel that you could have thought this one out a little bit more and wrote about something that catches peoples attention. Your structure was that of a preschoolers, and your ryme scheme was wretched too. You didnt really have any flow what so ever, and your poem lacked feelings..... This is evident through your complaining of the topic, you had no compasion towards it so I guess it is expected that you wouldnt be able to write to it. Tweety - Good job man, You owned this most definately, You showed compasion in your writing ability, had good flow, good diction, and good metaphorically grasp on the topic. All in all I think the obvious choice here is Tweety V/ Tweety.
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06-06-05, 11:59 PM
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#13
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STROBE's Favorite Rapper
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IP: 3240 794D
^you are now banned from voting in the poetry league for hate voting herby that wasnt explained at all even my oppenant knows my drop was good never the less good drop art you won this and ill let you onw this herb above next round
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Overall Rapverse Record Including Leagues 94-29
R.I.P RAPVERSE
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