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Book of Elfbomb, chapter one, verse one
In which our young hero learns how it's done
This is my intro to battling, hope I know what to do
but enough about me, let's talk about you
First off the bat, your name...what IS that?
Sounds like baby talk, but babies don't 69, cat
Even when you rollin' your style's just luck
It's like a black hole in that all it does is suck
I read your other battles, but it's hard cause they bore me
It's like they're jumping up and down, yelling and screaming "Ignore me!"
But from what I DID read, you really seem to think you're wicked
Well I got news kid, your skill's as limp as your stick is
See, I kept it clean there, but you just shouldn't provoke
Me, I'll cut it off here, give you more time to choke

Good shit... for a newb

Ya i might be a lil cocky
you wining this battle is like a black man play'n hockey
bust your face up! bitchs call me rocky
talk shit about names "elfbomb"
shit wit that name you prolly took you mom to prom
you stay at home wit a good porn and a oily palm
wit that weak ass post you think your the bomb!
bitch your nut'n but a new class newb
sit'n at your computer wit a dildo and a tube of anil lube
wish'n you had a crew... to help ya wit the mess
bitch you cant touch this skill its lyrical finess
your nut'n but a bitch wit a dick and breast
wit these lyrical slugs i leave holes in ya chest
i put your lung in your hands so you can hold you breath
send this message and send you to your lyrical death
this bitch is an elf! after that post i ought to kill myself
fuck, put done the mic cuz your skills were left on the shelf
this bitch is afraid to disclose his location
bitch your gods worst creation
your dad told me you were just a premature ejaculation!
that suck! hows it feel to be an ascedent, a mistake
you won... then you woke and found out your nut'n but a fake!

im done this is over!
lets get some votes!
and poll it up if ya can!
Good Battle Elfbomb!

ayo.................................... fuck some nice shit for both of ya.........
rhyme - 69 by like an inch
punches - 69
word play - 69
ideas - elf

my vote goes to 69

it was good battle though............
keep it up//////////////////

can i get some vote on mine??? http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=102217

peace

Elfbomb

Book of Elfbomb, chapter one, verse one
In which our young hero learns how it's done

Decent... Not great..

This is my intro to battling, hope I know what to do
but enough about me, let's talk about you

Weak....

First off the bat, your name...what IS that?
Sounds like baby talk, but babies don't 69, cat

Weak.....

Even when you rollin' your style's just luck
It's like a black hole in that all it does is suck

Ok Punch...Still needs work

I read your other battles, but it's hard cause they bore me
It's like they're jumping up and down, yelling and screaming "Ignore me!"

Good Punch....

But from what I DID read, you really seem to think you're wicked
Well I got news kid, your skill's as limp as your stick is

Not good at all.....

See, I kept it clean there, but you just shouldn't provoke
Me, I'll cut it off here, give you more time to choke

Ok Punche...Needs work
Overall... ya need help with punches
Work on tha vocab too......
Good Structure
Overall........13/20





Namwob_69

Ya i might be a lil cocky
you wining this battle is like a black man play'n hockey
bust your face up! bitchs call me rocky

Weak...ok wordplay i guess....

talk shit about names "elfbomb"
shit wit that name you prolly took you mom to prom
you stay at home wit a good porn and a oily palm
wit that weak ass post you think your the bomb!

Ok punch.... needs work

bitch your nut'n but a new class newb
sit'n at your computer wit a dildo and a tube of anil lube
wish'n you had a crew... to help ya wit the mess

Weak...Needs work

bitch you cant touch this skill its lyrical finess
your nut'n but a bitch wit a dick and breast
wit these lyrical slugs i leave holes in ya chest

Played....

i put your lung in your hands so you can hold you breath
send this message and send you to your lyrical death

Played...but ok punch

this bitch is an elf! after that post i ought to kill myself
fuck, put done the mic cuz your skills were left on the shelf

Weak...ok punch

this bitch is afraid to disclose his location
bitch your gods worst creation
your dad told me you were just a premature ejaculation!

Personal somewhat...punch was weak

that suck! hows it feel to be an ascedent, a mistake
you won... then you woke and found out your nut'n but a fake!


Ok punch....CHOPPY tho
Overall... ya verse was pretty weak
Needs help with structure..BIG TIME
Punches need to hit harder
i'd give you........14./20

Overall... this battle was weak...
Newbie battle of course.... Ya both need to elevate a bit
Elfbomb's structure was pretty good..
But ya both need help on vocab... and punches


Vote=Namwob_69
He simply had a lil bit better punches

__________________

im 2 up 3 more and we can close this shit wit a K.O. aight!!!!

----------------------LETS SEE THA VOTES!--------------------------------

illunatic, thanks for the tips dogg!

LETS GET SOME MOTHA FUCK"N VOTES GOD DAMN!-------------------------------------------------------------------------

-------------------------Upping for some god damn votes---------------------------------------------

Well let me see here

Open: 69 simply because Elfbomb shit was hot garbage
Punches 69 put your lung in your hands so you can hold you breath damn that shit was tight. and there was more to read. elf had his moment I read your other battles, but it's hard cause they bore me It's like they're jumping up and down, yelling and screaming "Ignore Me"" That was the only good punch by elf though.
Metaphor: 69 easily he actually had more then one
Close: 69

Winner: 69 by far hey Elf elevate you will be aiight though

its 3 up hit me up wit 2 more and we close this wit a KO!

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69 took dis one for better flow and humor.
but since my vote dont count i dont matter................


vote 69.......................