These tears I cry are extremely rare/
Because there not tears of extreme despair/
For jubilation has finally found me/
Loving emotions finally surround me/
It feels like its all around me/
Towards life my own opinion was hateful/
I thought I was disgraceful but now im grateful/
That I didn’t drowned due to depression/
Cus ive got something 2 live 4 this lesson/
Ive learned is invaluable 2 me/
And my girl defines beauty truly/
I use2 be mentally poorly through all the lies/
And the nights of cries im glad that now ive realised/
Life is worth living 4 true love is forgiving/
Yes depression did come a cross as mentally crippling/
But joy shone through my dark broken heart/
And stiche4d 2gether a heart that was once apart/
And so I can truthfully say I love the world/
.
.
.
if only I seriously felt this way

up

I thought I was disgraceful but now im grateful/
so you really feel grateful

i want to kno because doped this is a powerful peice and i think if you truly feel grateful it ruins teh *sorrow effect*

i appreciate this line as well:

Life is worth living 4 true love is forgiving/

i belive that if it is true love than mistakes shall be forgiven
wonderful peice doped

please read one of myne if you have time

HazY.B
no i dont really fell greatful at all
i dont believe any of that that i wrote
i just wanted 2 do something diffrent
thank u 4 finding the time to read this piece




"please read one of myne if you have time"
i guess i will hjave 2 find time considering u asked so nicely

yeah this was a good piece, it made for a good read, it flowed pretty good through out the piece i thought, your content was good too, i was feeling the meaning to this piece when i was reading it, it was pretty good, keep up the good work.

"That I didn’t drowned due to depression/
Cus ive got something 2 live 4 this lesson/"

Your use of correct English and incorrect or "slang" in one
paraphrase makes the piece shaky..
Also it's because you used all these "dictionary" words, I call
them, and then you have only one abbreviation (" Cuz" ).

"Ive learned is invaluable 2 me/
And my girl defines beauty truly/
I use2 be mentally poorly through all the lies/"

Here you spoke about three different things in that exact order
try to stay on subject when you write. You have to try to
single on one emotion that is streaming out instead of six
or seven. All in all it was okay keep on writing.

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<BR><h3><color=black><center><MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=scroll DIRECTION=left LOOP=infinite scrollamount=1 width=300>*~*~*Lady Wun*~*~*</MARQUEE></color></center></h3>
<BR>
<BR><MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=scroll DIRECTION=up LOOP=infinite scrollamount=1 height=100> <center><font color=000000><I>*~*~*~*~*</p>I'm invisible to the unseen eye</p>I'm undeniable strength</p>*~*~*~*~*~*</p>Merk Squad</MARQUEE></center><I>

But joy shone through my dark broken heart/
And stiche4d 2gether a heart that was once apart/
And so I can truthfully say I love the world/

These lines are beautiful. Could be cleaned up a little, but the message is beautfiul. For someone who doesnt actually feel this way, you've done a good job of portraying the emotion.

It tells me that at least you want to love. You have the desire to love. Alot of people are bereft of even that. So, there is hope yet

Nice piece Malb.

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^^^ all i have 2 say is congraultions. nice 2 see any fam finding postive inspiration to drop a peice showing appreciation. stay up and stay active. once again congrates

peAce