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Old 03-12-09, 06:40 PM   #1
Johnny 6-feet
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Dawn of the Dead

IP: 4556 7CE7

Dawn of the Dead

Here it comes for the last time; The Dawn of the Dead
An Army of Darkness march, growing horns on their heads
Tearing the world to pieces, roar as they fed
Drop to your knees and scream; here's the Dawn of the Dead


Smoke erupts in a cloud as the army arises
Moans fill the air, terror lost it's disguises
All eyes is, pointed at homes and residences
One by one they shamble, the lost and tormented
The earth's dented, people see the end and start running
Shoving, cussing, picking up pipes to spark something
So lock your doors, pray to whatever force you believe in
Because death walks on 2 feet and his fangs are seething

Here it comes for the last time; The Dawn of the Dead
An Army of Darkness march, growing horns on their heads
Tearing the world to pieces, roar as they fed
Drop to your knees and scream; here's the Dawn of the Dead


We see the cattle market, the endless shuffling
Mindless cosumers, bloated, belts are suffering
Head's with nothing in, moans in a low chrous
The merchandise grabbers, the natural born hoarders
Books have no value, theatres have low ratings
Recycled materials stops a sloping brow raising
Flashing images and flesh tranfixes these zombies
Slack jaws and dead eyes, drain the IQ wrongly
Inarticulate cries as they paw at shop glass
Thinking it's top class and what have they got? Trash
Advertisments burning brains cells like a hot flash
The Apocolypse is coming, the living will not last
These are not sedated actions of a futuristic tribe
These are not some virus carriers, plagued with sadistic minds
The truth is in the title, readers, take it from me
Just take a look in the mirror to see a zombie

Here it comes for the last time; The Dawn of the Dead
An Army of Darkness march, growing horns on their heads
Tearing the world to pieces, roar as they fed
Drop to your knees and scream; here's the Dawn of the Dead

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=249569

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=249410
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Old 03-13-09, 06:37 PM   #2
Fury
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I liked this piece because you remained on topic. Your flow was on point which made it easier to understand the message. It had good wordplay, the hook was aiight. All around a decent piece, nice job.
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Old 03-18-09, 01:43 AM   #3
MurDaH187
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this drop was sick ( sucks i gotta face u in the write ur thoughts away leauge lol), good flow, multis, i can imagen this in my head the way u made sure to let the reader grasp ur thought in detail was sick u stood on topic and all around good drop....

9/10 just loved it... but felt like u could of did 3ed verse...
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Old 03-19-09, 12:04 AM   #4
Graphik
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not bad. i liked the hook. nice topic. stayed pretty consistent throughout. Vocab use was decent. Imagery was presented nicely, though could be more vivid. Still, an interesting read to say the least.
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Old 03-23-09, 06:20 PM   #5
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New Jack
 
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Cool subject deffenetly, I was thinking of writing similar to this.
I can really feel what your saying, because society IS turning into zombies.
You set it up real well too, the hook wasn't bad either.
You could deffenetly drop this as an audio somewhere, if not here.

The flow was nice all the way through, and the vocabulary was very intelligent.
A very good piece, HoF worthy compared to any OM's dropped recent here.

I'm glad to see you around on this site, keep dropping OM's and i'll keep reading them.


RTF if you ever get around to it...
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...221#post3266221
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Old 03-23-09, 08:20 PM   #6
N†T
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Good drop bro, and great subject to write on
I agree with mostly what your sayin and connect to how you feel, the world is changing rapidly in a negative way, but sometimes, war is inevitable.
The flow was good and the chorus or hook fit well with what you were writing about, I think if you want you can make this much longer and it can be pretty dope

keep on writin man, just like me, it looks like your new to RV too unless you have another account, but anyways good job

my link:
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=249828
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