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Old 04-29-07, 12:05 PM   #1
DaTrusHurtz
I Hurt.
 
Posts: 3,599
Joined: May 2005
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GBA Mag: Yo Momma Week

IP: 2AC9 5FB1

Intro

Decent week last week. 22/25 people showed so that’s excellent. Also, I was expecting the mom thing to bring out a lot of played concepts, but people did better than expected, I saw some pretty funny shit last week. Only problem from last week was voting sucked. Here’s what went down

Last Weeks Battle Reviews by Prycele$$

Showcase vs. Axeshun
Could've been better for a championship match. Axeshun came pretty nice wit some witty bars. I felt the last bar was filler, meh oh well. Showcase came pretty nice too, had a lil firepower in every bar. His concepts were nice, i think his wording was just a lil off this time around. Oh and his enviromentalist ass recycled, he used the hoe-show line vs Drakk in the RBA on BRL. Axeshun wins this battle 3 - 2.

Dizzy vs. Professor
Weak battle. Both could've came better, I felt there was one quotable in this battle and it was Professor's 'ton of shit' bar. Dizzy needs to work a lil on his wording and concepts then he'll be doper. Professor took all the votes in this battle but losses from lack of votes.

DaTrusHurtz vs. Tony Brown
What's this? 4th time they battled? Eh, close enough. This battle was definately not a disappointer, both came very nice with some funny shit. Both of their closers had me rollin. Tony needed help with wording, but his concepts were on. Trus' verse was nice all around, could've been funnier tho. DaTrus won this 6 - 0.

Sureloc Holmes vs. Popcorn
Battle could've been better, but it was still good. Sureloc came with some funny shit and some ill concepts. He'd do nice on the yo momma show hahah. His 6th bar was probably the highlight bar of this match. Popcorn came with it too, the Osama line had me rofl. Sureloc wins this battle 3 - 0.

Bobericc_lyrics vs. Heychoo
Another weak battle. Both could've came WAY better, especially Bob since i've seen him drop nice. I couldn't really find a quotable in this battle, but Bob won it 5 - 1.

Phil Benjamin vs. Tebo
Phil's verse looked like he copy and pasted the shit from a yo momma joke site, he needs to work on using the gimmick in his verse, instead of takin it too seriously, ya dig? Tebo came alright, i've seen him do better. Tebo had the only quotable in this whole battle and that was prolly the 'resemble' bar. Tebo wins this battle 3 - 0.

Chase Utley vs. Veeyo
Chase checked in, Veeyo aint say shit.. Chase got the no show win.

-Coop- vs. Ace Heratoga
Another battle that could've been better. Ace didn't come funny enough and Coop used that to his advantage, coming with some funny and witty lines. I'd say this battle had 2 quotables and both of them go to Coop, his opener and closer. Ace could've came with better Concepts. Coop wins this battle 4 - 0.

Nick Fletcher vs. Mets
Battle of the week right here folks. Both of em came funny, almost every bar had me rollin. Nick dropped pretty damn nice, only a few of his bars didn't have me crackin up. Mets came funny wit a really nice closer and some funny bars. This battle was pretty close and Mets won 2 - 1.

Civilized Gangsta vs. Prycele$$
Nice battle. K-Stubbs came with some fresh concepts, but his wording definately let him down. A few of his bars were funny, such as his fast food line. Pryce came wit an all around nice verse, concepts and wording were pretty good. Cheek bone line and Dumpster line were good. Pryce takes this win 4 - 2.

Uncil Phil vs. ClasSick
Uncil Phil dropped, ClasSick no shows. Phil wins.

Kwik vs. Docholiday vs. Zelph
Kwik no showed and Zelph put nothin into his verse. Doc won this easily with all the votes.

Battle of the Week

This was a nice battle. It’s a shame it only got 3 votes, but it was pretty nice.

Nick Fletcher

here it is, a quick 16 lines... match me..

Riiiggghhhhhhttttttt....
Yeh son, yo momma's so flat chested.. here's how it goes
Dudes flip her into the crab position... then bust out the iron 'n' wrinkled clothes
& don't get me started on the weight of that ghastly freak
FUCK IT! Yo momma's so fat.. Lost was filmed on her left ass cheek
I roll out the jokes often, & the old ones, I'm lookin' to free 'em
Speakin' of.. yo momma so old you could call ya house a fucking museum
Now we can debate on her looks, 'n' I'll present my position
Forget Harry Potter..
.. yo momma so ugly, I thought Hogwarts was her medical condition
The bitch used dirty tactics and rose to the top of careers
Hell, yo momma's so low.. its no wonder you've been a bastard for years
That bitch is a retard, how she gone say she ain't heard o' me
Yo momma so stupid..
.. I came with a paradox and she thought she was in surgery
& yo momma so big 'n' hairy, I feel remorse like a real thing
'Coz GOD DAMN! it must've hurt when she fell off the empire state building
Dirty whore! I'm saying your dad must've been rocked slim
'Coz yo momma so nasty, he was beggin' his friends to cock-block him.

Yeah Yeah!!

Mets

yo.


now ur mom isnt an athlete, in high school we called'her bavarian cream
she so fat..she aint evn play b-ball n made the McDonalds all-american team
plus her titties hang reallll low, nevr'll be confused for a milf
shit, the bitch went to the farm n all the baby cows started suckin for milk
..& ur mom loves the cock, she's either gettin nailed or gettin a headstart
but please tell me how that bitch got so fat her fingernails got stretchmarks
i gotta get at least one more fat joke in cos idk how long her heart'll beat
..& cos' evryday she grocery shops like its an episode of super market sweep
let's talk about her pussy now, they try to ride but its an insane course
the bitches vagina is so big, her landin strip has a side job for the airport
shes super dpressed though, which is probaly why i'd never laugh at ya
slit her wrist, & the blood coulda killed mor people than diamonds in Africa

Mets won 2-1

Verse of the Week

Generally verse of the week should be longer than 12 lines, but they were good ones.

Mets vs. Nick Fletcher

yo.


now ur mom isnt an athlete, in high school we called'her bavarian cream
she so fat..she aint evn play b-ball n made the McDonalds all-american team
plus her titties hang reallll low, nevr'll be confused for a milf
shit, the bitch went to the farm n all the baby cows started suckin for milk
..& ur mom loves the cock, she's either gettin nailed or gettin a headstart
but please tell me how that bitch got so fat her fingernails got stretchmarks
i gotta get at least one more fat joke in cos idk how long her heart'll beat
..& cos' evryday she grocery shops like its an episode of super market sweep
let's talk about her pussy now, they try to ride but its an insane course
the bitches vagina is so big, her landin strip has a side job for the airport
shes super dpressed though, which is probaly why i'd never laugh at ya
slit her wrist, & the blood coulda killed mor people than diamonds in Africa

No-Show Shine

Uncil Phil vs. ClasSick

the no-show king vs the no-show king

ok quick one i dunno if hes comin

I know your not real Class forget the sensless fakin
Not an illegal alien at all
They had to use the forklift to get ur mom over the fence at immigration
That fat bitch is a slut... I mean.. whatelse can I fucken say
Her Meat taco stay gettin stuffed... like a mexican buffet
Your a fucken fag.. Yo moms well wanna know somthin sad...
That bitch gotta sneak up on the water... just to take a bath
I feel bad for ya dad... i dun know if dood likes it
Coz you mom so ugly
Ya pops take her to work just to avoid givin her a goodbye kiss
I guess i've covered the basics you know ya moms flesh is jus insane
Nigga your family portrait looks like then 2 s'S in your name

Top Punches

ya mom was gainin weight so i said lose or leave ho..
well.. i gave her props for tryin...
..but the weight loss pills kept gettin lost in her cheek bones
12. Prycele$$ vs. Civilized Gangsta

You will fail, n' that ho of ur mom looks real pale
Yo momma so fat, she runs away from lizards...
... she doesn't want to be ANYWHERE near scales
11. DaTrusHurtz vs. Tony Brown

Thought she might've been hot, but then found out she was hairy n.....
I ain't fuk the pig-headed broad, so niggas thought i was a vegetarian
10. Tony Brown vs. DaTrusHurtz

She's always half-naked, plus I heard she be blowin for cheap
So you should at least give heratoga cuz she stay Roman the streets
9. -Coop- vs. Ace Heratoga

& don't get me started on the weight of that ghastly freak
FUCK IT! Yo momma's so fat.. Lost was filmed on her left ass cheek
8. Nick Fletcher vs. Mets

now ur mom isnt an athlete, in high school we called'her bavarian cream
she so fat..she aint evn play b-ball n made the McDonalds all-american team
7. Mets vs. Nick Fletcher

and I ain't finished, be gone, push me
after Katrina, thousands took refuge in your mom's pussy
6. Sureloc Holmes vs. Popcorn

That's one hideous bitch man, I'm out swingin' too
Yo momma's the claim of smokin' commercials, the uncool thing to do
5. DaTrusHurtz vs. Tony Brown

I shoulda lost last week right, but shit I'm still the bomb,
You can say I shouldn't be in this...
...but I said the same thing last night when I was with your mom.
4. §howcase vs. Axeshun

I know your not real Class forget the sensless fakin
Not an illegal alien at all
They had to use the forklift to get ur mom over the fence at immigration
3. Uncil Phil vs. ClasSick

let's talk about her pussy now, they try to ride but its an insane course
the bitches vagina is so big, her landin strip has a side job for the airport
2. Mets vs. Nick Fletcher

Now we can debate on her looks, 'n' I'll present my position
Forget Harry Potter..
.. yo momma so ugly, I thought Hogwarts was her medical condition
1. Nick Fletcher vs. Mets

Bitch of the Week

No One

No one really did anything to earn bitch of the week this week. Good Work.

Dumbass of the Week

Zelph

Wins it for dropping the following verse

Kwik
Yo momma fat lime a whale
Yo momma so ugly she gives dreams nightmares!
Yo momma looks like Gary Sheffield
Yo momma makes people die
Yo momma likes dick in her eye

dochoilday
Yo momma loves nuts
yo momma once ate shit
Yo momma fogot to cook last night
Yo momma doesn't love you
Yo momma loves me
YO momma sooooo old, she eats lunch for breakfast

LOL, good bye dumbass.

The Boot

Zelph

Zelph wrote an embarrassingly bad verse last week so he gets booted.

Almost Getting The Boot

Docholiday
Tebo
Civilized Gangsta

I don’t expect to really boot any of you, you have all been very good members of the league with being active here, dropping on time, and voting. But all 3 of you need to pick it up with the quality of your verses. Spend more time and really work on your verses. All 3 of you, feel free to always hit me up for tips on AIM or through PM, I’m always willing to help. If I don’t see improvement over the next 2-3 weeks, I may consider booting you. This is just a warning.

RapBattles Heads

This does not apply to all of you, but to many it does. When you vote, you NEED to be more objective. I’m seeing a trend where people from RB are voting for the people the people they know. There’s nothing wrong with voting for someone you know, as long as they won. Basically, if ur from RB, I’d like you to do 2 things when you vote.

1) Try to mostly vote on battles between non RB heads rather than the guys you know.
2) If you are voting on a match between an RB head and a non RB head, give the other guy a fair chance and don’t assume your fellow RB head won.

Basically, I’m going to be inspecting who is voting for who, and if I see a trend with someone consistently voting for people from their site who I don’t really think won, expect to be booted. Basically, just be conscience of what you are doing and be thoughtful with your votes.

More Voting News

There’s a problem here with not enough votes and bad votes. Regarding not enough votes, I don’t know why you guys aren’t voting. I enforce links and have been all along, lol. One thing is going to change, though. Right now, if you don’t vote, but your opponent doesn’t either, I give the win to whoever had more votes. Forget that, from now on, if you don’t vote, and your opponent doesn’t either, you BOTH lose.

About wack votes, I was considering implementing a voting council. But I realized that’s not a good idea, everyone really should be voting in a league. However, I’m considering implementing a council for only the championship and contendership matches. Every other match, anyone could vote on. What do you guys think?

Power Rankings

10. -Coop- (2-0) – Has started the league with a nice 2-0 record. Will need to continue to improve to climb the ranks.
9. Bobericc_Lyrics (6-3) – Came well enough to climb the ranks last week. Has a winnable match this week and can get to the contendership.
8. Uncil Phil (3-2) – Only 2 losses are from no-shows. Can definitely come with it when he tries to.
7. Tony Brown (1-1) – Last last week, but came nice in the loss. If he stays with it, will do nicely in the league and might even champ it.
6. Chase Utley (2-0) – Got the no-show win last week. If he shows up and tries, will continue to climb the ranks.
5. §howcase (9-2) – Lost the title, but if he wants to, will definitely climb back near the top.
4. Sureloc Holmes (5-3) – Came pretty nice last week. If he shows the same stuff from last week against Trus, could surprise people.
3. DaTrusHurtz (10-1) – Beat Tony to move to the contendership match. Has been dropping consistently throughout his time in the league.
2. DiZzy (4-0) – Barely won last week, but has done well in the league and has a real shot to become the GBA’s 4th champ.
1. Axeshun (5-0) – I didn’t agree with it, but he’s the new champ and the 3rd of GBA history. Grats man. Will need to come his best to defend his title this week.

Potentially Dope

Sprungy – An old head from other sites. Definitely talented and should do well in the league.
Artistik – Has won consistently on RB. We’ll see if that success carries over to this league. I think it will.

Predictions

1. Axeshun (5-0) vs. 2. DiZzy (4-0)

Both are pretty lucky to be here. Axeshun by strange voting and DizZy by winning only due to his opponent not voting. DiZzy can come nice, but hopefully he learned last week he can’t half-ass and expect to win. He’s gonna try harder, I got DiZzy winning.

3. DaTrusHurtz (10-1) vs. 4. Sureloc Holmes (5-3)

Our first match, hopefully it’ll be good. Good Luck.

5. Bobericc_Lyrics (6-3) vs. 6. Tebo (2-3)

Tebo’s on a winning streak, but I think it’s gonna end here. Bob hasn’t yet dropped a really dope verse in the league, but he usually has 1 or 2 cool punches per verse, enough to beat Tebo. Bobericc will win.

7. Chase Utley (2-0) vs. 8. -Coop- (2-0)

Chase might no-show. Hopefully he doesn’t, because he’s a nice writer. If he does, -Coop- will obviously win. If not, this could be a good match, but I’ll predict Chase to win it.

9. §howcase (9-2) vs. 10. Professor (2-2)

Hopefully §howcase uses his loss from last week as a reason to try harder, not give up. Depends on which of the two he does on which way this match will go. I predict §howcase will write up something quick and still win.

11. Nick Fletcher (1-1) vs. 12. Prycele$$ (4-4)

Nick hasn’t been around the last few days, and I’m worried he’s not gonna show up, even though he’s generally good about that. If Nick shows, he’ll win. If not, Prycle$$ will win. Seems a lot of matches will have a similar result.

13. Uncil Phil (3-2) vs. 14. Alphabetized (4-2)

Uncil Phil got the no-show win last week, but had a nice verse anyway. Alpha is back, and was dropping nicely in the league his first time around. Could be a cool match, but I’m going with experience and Uncil Phil has been doin’ this for a long time so I got him winning.

15. docholiday (1-1) vs. 16. Tony Brown (7-4)

Doc showed a lot of improvement in his verse last week. Hopefully he continues that improvement into this week. Tony fell once again to Trus, but should climb back up the ranks. I got Tony winning.

17. Popcorn (3-4) vs. 18. Wireless (6-5)

Tough to say, pretty even battle. Popcorn is more consistent, but Wireless is funnier. As usual with Wireless, comes down to effort and if he shows any. I’m going with no, and that Popcorn will take advantage and win.

19. Phil Benjamin (2-2) vs. 20. Ace Heratoga (1-1)

Phil’s been a bit disappointing so far, hasn’t dropped as nice as I know he can. Same goes for Ace. Hopefully one of them picks it up in this battle. 2 very different styles, but Ace is generally better in my opinion so I’m going with Ace.

21. Civilized Gangsta (2-4) vs. 22. Sprungy (0-0)

Civilized has also been a disappointment so far. Hasn’t really shown me much and has struggled. Sprungy is nice, he’s gonna do well in the league. Sprungy to win.

23. Artistik (0-0) vs. 24. K.ontroverz.Y (0-0)

Artistik is Philly from RB. He’s pretty solid as we all know so I expect a decent showing from him. K.ontroverz.Y is an actual RV head, and I don’t know how he’s gonna come, but likely not as well as Artikstik. Artistik to win.

25. Lay Fear (0-0) vs. 26. Top C Krit (0-0)

I haven’t seen really anything to judge either of these 2 on so it’s a complete guess who’ll win. I’ll go with the secret.

Outro
With the exception of voting, another good week last week. Hopefully everyone keeps showing and keeps it up. I’m finishing the school year now which means that I’m going to start having a lot more free time to recruit and do shit for this league. Keep giving me ideas and feedback so this league continues to improve. Drop hard this week. Pz.
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Old 04-29-07, 05:34 PM   #2
Tebo
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I don't wanna be kicked. Good read besides that :\
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Old 04-29-07, 05:42 PM   #3
Civil.
What' it do?
 
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From: Garden City
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IP: 477E 12AE

sign me out. boot me. I don't give a fuck.
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Old 04-29-07, 06:01 PM   #4
DaTrusHurtz
I Hurt.
 
Posts: 3,599
Joined: May 2005
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IP: BE48 95D9

^^^^ To both of you, I don't want to boot either of you since ur both good active members like I said. However, you guys gotta step it up.
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Old 04-29-07, 08:17 PM   #5
Sprungy
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nice mag, thanks for the props.
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Old 04-30-07, 12:36 AM   #6
TonyTone
Fuck Parents
 
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trus do me a favor, dont match us up again
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Old 04-30-07, 09:21 AM   #7
DaTrusHurtz
I Hurt.
 
Posts: 3,599
Joined: May 2005
Status: Offline
IP: 2AC9 5FB1

haha, i'm cool with that, but i don't really decide on the matchups.. its based on ranks and the ranks are determined by a set process.
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Old 04-30-07, 11:17 AM   #8
TonyTone
Fuck Parents
 
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IP: B76B 4FEA

yea, the set up tony b for a loss process
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Old 04-30-07, 02:41 PM   #9
DiZzy
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mets mcdonalds punch shoulda been #1 shit was hilariouss
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Old 05-01-07, 08:58 AM   #10
grams
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaTrusHurtz
[CENTER]Intro
RapBattles Heads

This does not apply to all of you, but to many it does. When you vote, you NEED to be more objective. I’m seeing a trend where people from RB are voting for the people the people they know. There’s nothing wrong with voting for someone you know, as long as they won. Basically, if ur from RB, I’d like you to do 2 things when you vote.

1) Try to mostly vote on battles between non RB heads rather than the guys you know.
2) If you are voting on a match between an RB head and a non RB head, give the other guy a fair chance and don’t assume your fellow RB head won.

Basically, I’m going to be inspecting who is voting for who, and if I see a trend with someone consistently voting for people from their site who I don’t really think won, expect to be booted. Basically, just be conscience of what you are doing and be thoughtful with your votes.



ROFL..........wow.
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Old 05-03-07, 11:05 AM   #11
DaTrusHurtz
I Hurt.
 
Posts: 3,599
Joined: May 2005
Status: Offline
IP: 2AC9 5FB1

this thread is now closed
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