Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
02-07-06, 09:40 PM | #1 | |||
.
|
Part One: My Utopia
IP: 3881 400B
1. http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=220399
2. http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=221544 ---------------------------------------- Dwelling upon nimbus clouds, poking at tornados with my scepter, Ordering divine servants while feasting on ambrosia and nectar, Entertained by Hell's Jesters as a single juggle controls your fate, Making an exaggerated entrance to smite protesters at The Gate, Keep the wisdom flowing; I'm Scared of the narrow minded class, So I keep a local Library so intelligence doesn't smolder into ash, Passing Jack and Jill tipping my crown handing them a pail, Pouring soda in my cup licking the foam off the Holy Grail, Greeting Romans on the Rooftop Garden where children play, Walking up the Stairway to Heaven, high 5'ing Jesus on the way, Erotic rhythms rock the floor as I put my head to the ground, Exotic dancing with Mother Earth with a rose in my mouth, I talk to doves in the trees so please there’s no need to panic, Staring upon the mortals laying face down on my hammock, I vowed to keep the mind growing with stanzas spoken aloud, Stroking my feather pen along the canvas built in the clouds, Trading echoes with the mountain and dancing on top of fog, Listening to the croaks chillin’ with swamp toads on a log, I spend my thinking time underwater next to my treasure chest, Talking to Mermaids about the meaning of life when I’m stressed, Watching the greener grass on the other side as I float, Meditating on the Himalayas stoking the fur of my goats, I can tell how close to home I am by the way the wind blows, Chillin’ at the palace playin’ strip poker with Circe and Calypso, ..I glide amongst cranes flocking together as they teach, Sitting lost in the sands of time drawing sun dials on the beach. Yeah, leave some feedback. This piece has been getting slept the fuck on..
__________________
i'm bored. Last edited by Vulcan : 02-07-06 at 09:44 PM. |
|||
02-07-06, 09:53 PM | #2 | |||
.
|
IP: 3881 400B
bumppppppppppp feeeeeed meeeeeeeee
__________________
i'm bored. |
|||
02-07-06, 10:11 PM | #3 | ||||
|
IP: 31C2 62EB
Woah homie, that shyt was sick! lol i never know you could write like that.. i was really feeling the vocab and wordplay you were using you had lovely emotions and good feeling in your drop.. your structure was very good aswell some lines could have been shortened alittle bit, but overall it was a very good drop nice job..you really impressed me.
__________________
The Competition
|
||||
02-08-06, 03:08 PM | #4 | |||
.
|
IP: 3881 400B
Word, thanks. Most people only know me for my gfx. >.<
__________________
i'm bored. |
|||
02-08-06, 04:56 PM | #5 | |||
.
|
IP: 3881 400B
.................................................. ....
__________________
i'm bored. |
|||
02-08-06, 05:10 PM | #6 | |||||
New to RV
|
IP: F453 D766
this drop different to most, entertaining to read but ya should try experimenting and maintaining a multi scheme on something like this...
over all tho for a GFX head thatz sum real shit u got goin down, a style u should develop Ü |
|||||
02-08-06, 06:23 PM | #7 | |||
.
|
IP: 3881 400B
...............................
__________________
i'm bored. |
|||
02-08-06, 11:25 PM | #8 | |||||
in your system
|
IP: 9E2F CDE8
you're a fucking whore
__________________
this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
|||||
02-08-06, 11:28 PM | #9 | |||||
in your system
|
IP: 9E2F CDE8
Keep the wisdom flowing; I'm Scared of the narrow minded class,
So I keep a local Library so intelligence doesn't smolder into ash, Passing Jack and Jill tipping my crown handing them a pail, Pouring soda in my cup licking the foam off the Holy Grail, Erotic rhythms rock the floor as I put my head to the ground, Exotic dancing with Mother Earth with a rose in my mouth, I talk to doves in the trees so please there’s no need to panic, Staring upon the mortals laying face down on my hammock, I vowed to keep the mind growing with stanzas spoken aloud, Stroking my feather pen along the canvas built in the clouds I spend my thinking time underwater next to my treasure chest, Talking to Mermaids about the meaning of life when I’m stressed I glide amongst cranes flocking together as they teach, Sitting lost in the sands of time drawing sun dials on the beach. those lines were the best...you had some cheesy shit in there for sure, lol, but if everything was writtin as vivid, concise, and imaginative as these....wow, this woulda killed...still was awesome, good fucking job man, good fucking job I vowed to keep the mind growing with stanzas spoken aloud, Stroking my feather pen along the canvas built in the clouds, i think that was my favourite...and the closer, fuckin ill, lol...keep up
__________________
this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
|||||
02-09-06, 09:20 AM | #10 | |||||||
Middle Weight
|
IP: 215F 8CED
This was cool, I liked the way you rhyme coming and going in each line... Your vocab drops to a lower level after the 1st few bars... At first you had a nigga looking up words... than it just got easier... *shruggs* Ya structure was sound, flow was good... and there were several stand alone lines I fucked with in this... good drop... keep doing what you do
& Return the Favor
__________________
\....../ \..../ \../ A.I. Spilled Inc. |
|||||||
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Display Modes | |
|
|