im gonna drop a ryhme
wont be the last time
this board is my terrain
and im gonna cause pain
my ryhmes gonna be so tight
u aint gonna wanna fight
ill admit my ryhmes r weak
i aint even close to gettin to the peak
of my talent that i got
so just give me a shot
and i no some of u r new to this
and welcome if ur serious
but not on the mic
leave that to the experienced

Erm......I've seen worse but you need to elevate a lot. I suggest go into front lines and read other battles to look at rhymeschemes and stuff. Then read the tutorials here in the W.E.C. and the most important thing is practise.
You rhymed words well but just lacked that cuttin edge of a few multies here and there.

__________________

HARRY R.I.P
1940 - 2002

In Respect

dude i dont kno nething else to say but,,,, uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu suck! hahaha its too short, no multis didnt flow, and half the time it didnt rhyme, keep elevatin dawg peep my open mic

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u prolly dont have a job and u sleep at da dock
put u outa ur misery so u can hang wit tupac
Victims
Onyx_Storms(ko) 86barsfromva(ko) XtremeFlow(5-1) crazypatient(ko) crazypatient gorillaquantity(ko) pro.fess.in.all(5-1)

that may have been the weakest shit i ever heard
that whole verse was choppy and shit like a severed turd
ur rhymes are played out and a 5 yr old could be spittin that
seriously though hears some advice u should consider quittin rap

no hard feelins but see how more then one word rhymed that would help and u have to use rhymes bout ppl ur battlin not bout anything hopefully that will help u

Yo dont go so harsh on him. He said he was new.....just practice and read other battles and open mics dawg.

__________________

HARRY R.I.P
1940 - 2002

In Respect

SEVERE LYRICS SUCKS COCK!
dont listen to him dawg... I'd drop his ass in a battle like that...
but look...
you aint THAT bad... and DONT give up...

whenever you write a rap... put content in on it...
for instance... I'ma rag on Severe lyrics since hes a bitch
and wants to bully people under him... ( hes mad cause he cant
elevate, but you can)
just watch... learn, see what I Do...

aiyo,
you wanna talk shit, you better hope your tough,
cuz ima hit you in your chest so much that I fold you up,
until your spine collapses makin both your shoulders touch.
Severe is on my nuts like a squirrel sits on a fence...
This herb is clinging to me, like faggots after I spilled lubricant,
heres a secret dawg, "light travels faster than sound"...
thats why you "appeared to be bright until you opened your mouth"
what now...

that took me like 1 minute and 1/2 to do... it just comes with
practice and determination... plus having a topic helps usually.
read tutorials, read other battles and open mics... you'll see.
~Ashy~

read tutorials, read other battles and open mics... you'll see


^^^Exactly what I said. Dawg you just gotta practice....when I started on this site I lost my first five battles....now look at my record! All I did was practice, read other battles and write raps in my free-time

__________________

HARRY R.I.P
1940 - 2002

In Respect

a.t. if that was a verse dissin me next time make sure it rhymes and actually disses me ok champ

see here's a diss that actually rhymes

a.t. u and falcon r some fagsthat suck and bite dicks
your on his nuts kinda the way he's on mike vicks

pretty much nuff said

i said no hard feelins to falcon cuz in that 2 bars for him i tried to show some disses and how to rhyme more then one word it wasnt personall it was spose to help him so calm down killa

haha, all these fuckers were hard on me when i first came here in march 2003... I remeber my first rap was ...

I'm'a, subliminal criminal keeping to the minimal
Violent as hell putting razor blades in swimming pools

^^ that was wack as hell, but at least it shows I can get betta, which I have. But man yours really does suck, i hope you are 7 or summin cause my cousin is 7 and he writes pritty good ones!

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^ Click the image to visit my official website ^

First of all, you have no confidence, you have to like yourself, for others to like you. Dont beleive everyone is gonna say your whack, cus someone on your level, will compliment you. The best thing to do, is stick to writing, build your confidence a little.

u guys are slack (most of you) yeah i agree it was wack, but come on, he just started.... just keep writing, practice makes perfect.... read the dictionary for vocab, and listen to alot of rap.... vote on battles too to see what kinda stuff other people rhyme about.... dont copy them though

She's right....you need to have confidence. When I first came here I lost my first five battles and I really lacked confidence. But now I'm confident and I'm findin that I'm rhymin words accidently and it makes your verse sound better. It all comes with practice. Battle newbs until you start winnin and get more confident. Then move up a level. Keep grindin away and you'll get better

__________________

HARRY R.I.P
1940 - 2002

In Respect