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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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09-17-08, 06:01 PM
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#1
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New to RV
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Love Pains
IP:
Love Pains
There is a pain in my chest my friends tell me that i shouldnt stress but this pain is something ill never forget These pains ive never felt before in my life when im around you the pains out of site when your arund everything goes right you shouldnt have to feel this pain at night that is why i call you every night |
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09-17-08, 06:20 PM
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#2
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IP:
Don't rhyme words with the same word.
Example: Night and Night Site and sight, look at it I don't have to say any more. Upgrade your vocab. Put some emotion in it your talking about love come on girl. Just cuz it rhymes doesn't make it a rap or poem.
__________________
THE TRUTH IS I'M BETTER THAN YOU |
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09-17-08, 06:33 PM
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#3
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New to RV
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IP:
Quote:
i kno wat u mean but i didnt meant that kind of sight like eye sight i meant the scene all together....but y not rhyme the same 2 words alot of ppl do it??? |
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09-17-08, 07:17 PM
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#4
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IP:
The only person who pulled it off was Murs in the song BTS. It loses the flow of the piece.
__________________
THE TRUTH IS I'M BETTER THAN YOU |
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10-18-08, 04:27 PM
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#5
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New to RV
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IP:
Keep up work buddy
__________________
*kisses* Im a very nice gurl. I love everyone |
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