Gnawing at my nails ‘til I see the bloody quick
Thriving on the pain, finding glee in feeling sick
Teasing my arteries with the sharpness of silver blade
Reverting to reality, I can’t help but be ashamed

I’m frustrated and pushed beyond my limits
A nervous wreck yet to timid to admit it
I swallow razorblades and slit my wrists
With pills I’m falling apart...
Why try and fail when I can never start

All my life it’s been the same
Start it once but never finish
What is this existence I’ve created
The ghastly past I struggle to relinquish

I spit up blood when I’m speaking
Passing out with my brain leaking
Spilling my thoughts on the table
Read my mind, the charts say I’m unstable

Extended help is never present
So I’ve learned to no longer question
But instead, sit here and surrender
to the insanity that beckons forever

Hang myself with an extension cord
Impale myself with a five foot sword
Blow my brains out just cause I’m bored
It doesn’t matter, I'll just get ignored...

I speak but am silenced
Seek peace but am imbalanced
Without confidence, I feel worthless
Continuously dismissed, I am useless

I’m breaking pencil lead while writing
Breaking my own fingers when I’m typing
Banging my head on my desk ‘til my face is a bloody mess
Nothing less…I guess I must just be overstressed.

I REALLY LIKE UR WORK..so true about suicidal issues too..esp about getting ignored..people sometimes feel like this is the only they will ever get attention and then its over i really felt word for word on this and for another newbie UR DAMN GOOD keep it up..only adivce i have is maybe work on your structure for the beginning and great internal rhymin kid well keep elevatin..

__________________
my head is clouded with senseless doubt
but this seems to be my only escape route
so ill slither my way across the ground
to avoid my blyndedsoul from being found
~*~YOU LIVE YOU LEARN~*~

Thanks for the input..i'll try to work on the structure..I know it looks for crap

Not a bad drop, like the kid above mentioned the structure could use a tweak. Multis were there and the imagery was on point. For a very simple structure this was done in a way that made it seem some what complex. I guess the use of multies stood out most. Nothing very complex or advanced from a metaphoric view, but the images were placed in my mind. Keep elevating and drooping your work in here. There are many skilled poets as well as rap writers in here, take advantage of what they can offer you in means of elevation.

Good read...

__________________
FUCKA BABYLON BANDIT!!!

this was a good drop, with lots of detail and emotion. your intro was good, for if it wasnt i wouldnt have read it all the way throu. structure like mentioned could be pushed up to the next level on your next piece. the rhyme scheme was basic and simple, and sometimes i found it to be a bit much. your message is a serious one and you kept its importance and didnt drag it out. and your outro was good, i liked it the best out of the piece. nice read.

~Tera~
DONT HATE

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ThanKs for the feed back. Dropped another piece in here, yall can check it out if ya want.

wow nice piece dawg
a lot of emotions, you really set the way someone feels with suicidal feelings, I can definitely relate to it, so that made it even more enjoyable fo me.
Nice structure, flowin, it just all fitted together perfectly.
Hope to read mo from ya soon
resp

..Nice...very nice..very emotional...I'm looking forward to your future work..