RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases > Freestyles
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 03-09-06, 08:13 PM   #1
locknes
its WU muthafucka
 
locknes's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,118
Joined: Jan 2006
From: BOSTON
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
Charlie Brown (FREESTYLE)<sick

IP: 0E2B F4BC

I breaks It down like a bone fracture
this terroristic hard form to capture
i dispose a rhyme, to fucken expose ya mind
flowz I'm, I'll leave any hot niggaz froze in time
shine like the sun after rain, trash ya game im way pass the plain
give ya a tower in eyeful(eiffel)of skill so u can check what i pull
i don't buy your shit even if its holy why would i buy bull(bible)
boa constricting as i grab hold, like the nile flooded i got mad flow
drown in this deep water,u couldnt follow me being a my shadow
the speech i speak slaughters,i strike foes and never miss
no nigga could better this the cleaverness i be on that philly blaze
gets me realy dazed cant catch this over ya head being willy mays
create a feet, submarine sinkin i get so deep, i'll whoop yall
fucken asses, I never took falls,with this verbal coffin i'll put yall
u niggas shoot ya gunz like charlie brown kicken a foot ball
__________________
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-10-06, 08:40 AM   #2
locknes
its WU muthafucka
 
locknes's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,118
Joined: Jan 2006
From: BOSTON
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 0E2B F4BC

uppin THIS FOR FEED BACK ..............................
__________________
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-10-06, 11:08 PM   #3
Payn
Middle Weight
 
Payn's Avatar
 
Posts: 514
Joined: Jun 2005
From: Washington, DC
Status: Offline
IP: 8A05 210E

yea duke diz was good but u need 2 line up ya lines 4 tha next time so it'll b all 2getha ...but ur multies & vocab was nice i like it keep elevating fa sho
__________________
Choose words carefully when you address me
You ain't gotta like me, but you're gonna respect me
(Or else) or else you get wet like a jigsknee
Take ten of these and live, that'll impress me
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-06, 07:42 PM   #4
Bonafide
I Chill in Asylums
 
Bonafide's Avatar
 
Posts: 968
Joined: Aug 2005
From: MA
Status: Offline
IP: 9133 A552

This was good man, not bad at all. Im liking ur vocab and everything. The rhyming was cool too. But like the dude said u should work on ur structure so the reader will be able to flow thru it easier.
Send a message via AIM to Bonafide Send a message via MSN to Bonafide Send a message via Yahoo to Bonafide   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:41 AM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.