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08-04-03, 11:47 PM | #16 | |||||||
BANNED
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IP: 9BAD 0F8E
um.....wow this is an interesting piece.........i really don know how to respond to it....def like a mini story as was said.....
this is....well....wow interesting parts: that youve got a crappy life or that you just got divorced from your 5th wife and she took the house and the kids and now there both bastards why dont you do yourself a favor skip the child support and get yourself a stairmaster YOU'LL NEVER BE ANYTHING YOU LITTLE FAGGOT GO SING A SONG MY LIFE MAY SUCK BUT YOUR'E NOT GONNA LIVE THIS LONG your probly right, me living that longs not likely but the way you turned out it looks like somebody up there likes me SMART ASS KID TAKE OFF THAT UNIFORM AND PUT ON A DRESS lol there were many parts of this that acctually had me crackin up...fun drop man wish i could read more like it |
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08-05-03, 07:26 PM | #17 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: E194 7957
different but clean,i little long but never tha less good,it was a lil sketchy at first to but you got over that quick,nice piece,keep elevatin and spittin~1~
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08-05-03, 11:18 PM | #18 | ||||||
..A New Breed of Femcee..
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IP: C1DA C961
Sup 2%..
I dont think I've read anything from you before but I was really feelin this..Never read anything like it before..I liked how you were able to switch back and forth in the dialogue without making it confusing, also the structure, I thought, added emphasis to certain lines, rather than having it all bunched together in one paragraph..I also liked the whole baseball theme, how it was touched on literally and metaphorically in the beginning, middle, and end of the poem. I thought this showed mad creativity and abilty on your part, and I look forward to reading more from you. Nice work. Pz. |
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08-07-03, 03:57 AM | #19 | |||||||
Banned AKA Dante
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IP: AF11 A214
wow praise from the queen
*bows* (lol) but seriously, thanks a lot for the in depth feedback It means a lot coming from you I'm glad you enjoyed it and I'll keep on writing if you keep reading Peace |
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08-07-03, 07:04 AM | #20 | ||||||||
Spectator
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IP: 95B6 7759
Quote:
It was once said, that it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. Im thinking you could benefit from that advice nypdemon.
__________________
Great spirits often encounter violent opposition from mediocre minds.
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08-08-03, 06:11 AM | #21 | |||||||
Banned AKA Dante
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IP: AF11 A214
^word
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08-30-03, 06:47 PM | #22 | |||||||
Banned AKA Dante
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IP: 6DE4 40DA
If you got feedback, Id like to hear it, THX
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08-31-03, 09:05 AM | #23 | |||||||
Registered User
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IP: 8197 FA9C
nice piece, I was feeling it...
you could feel the desperation and the thought just running thru your head... this was not a played out theme, nice shit dawg. keep droppin peace |
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09-23-03, 02:36 PM | #24 | |||||||
Banned AKA Dante
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IP: 7A52 73B1
and thats the ballgame?
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09-23-03, 06:49 PM | #25 | |||||||
..Soft Focus..
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IP: F72D 2F9A
that was off the hook...i loved that story..the fiisher was crazy...it was pretty funny as well at parts...i liked the word play some parts pretty simple but the you structured it all it seemd good,,,all in all great art right there...keep it up
__________________
Open Mics The Weathers Art http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673 My Teenage Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850 Secluded http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851 Open Your Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461 |
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09-24-03, 12:53 AM | #26 | |||||||
Banned AKA Dante
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IP: 9A61 7C1A
thanks for the compliments rule, split-eyes and tourniquet
*thinks to self* hmmmmm, maybe this should be nominated for RB legends |
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09-27-03, 02:47 PM | #27 | |||||||
I'm Better Than You
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IP: A8B6 B7FE
dat wuz pretty good... style wuz unique which i liked da best... u also switched back and forth from characters which made it interesting... i liked how u went back to baseball at da end... nice...
me is in team... not dat great.... but ok.... overall reaal nice style and everything... aND DaTS... Da BaLLGaME... |
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10-01-03, 04:14 PM | #28 | |||||||
Banned AKA Dante
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IP: 9A61 7C1A
^thanks for the comments
this actually did get nominated for RB Legends but I don't think it's gonna get in cuz it's all bout who ya know oh well, upp'n fo' tha last time! |
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10-01-03, 04:19 PM | #29 | |||||||
Special Ghost To Blow
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IP: 4577 CD9A
sometime you just need to let go...
and if someone replies...someone replies.... once again..I think I said this was good like a year ago...now im saying it twice.... ...without saying why cause I probaly said and dont remember how I worded it all... |
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