Intro

First of all, I’d like to apologize for not having mags up the past 2 weeks. I’ve been out of town a lot with my spring break and I’ve been pretty swamped with other shit. The good news is the worst is behind me so while I am always a busy man, I shouldn’t have a problem getting mags up for you guys in the future. Anyway, this week was okay, only 15/18 people showed so while that still could be better, it’s a big improvement. Here’s what went down.

Last Weeks Battle Reviews

1. DaTrusHurtz (5-0) vs. 2. -Troublesome- (3-0)

-Troublesome- no-showed for the 2nd time in this league so I held onto my title.

3. Tony Brown (4-1) vs. 4. Prosecuter (3-1)

Prosecuter no-showed so Tony Brown won.

5. Wireless (3-2) vs. 6. Ancel (2-1)

This battle was a bit disappointing. Wireless really half-assed it pretty bad and his verse showed it. Ancel dropped early, but still seems a bit rusty, I wasn’t really feeling much from his verse. However, he was much more consistent and took the win.

7. Popcorn (1-0) vs. 8. Alphabetized (1-0)

Probably the best battle of the week, though still only an average battle.

9. §howcase (4-1) vs. 10. Sureloc Holmes (3-2)

Sureloc Holmes no-showed so §howcase won.

11. Bobericc_Lyrics (2-1) vs. 12. i.e. hypocrisy (1-0)

I wasn’t feelin’ this battle too much. Bob was pretty consistent, but his wording seemed a bit off on everything and it was hurting him. I.e. had a Chinese food line against the pic that worked, but the rest of his verse was filler. Bob ended up winning 4-1.

13. tiggobitties (1-0) vs. 14. Prycele$$ (1-1)

Prycele$$’s verse looked like it was done pretty quickly, but still a few decent quotables in it. Tiggo came pretty played and that was really what buried him here. Prycele$$ got the KO win.

15. M The Literal (1-0) vs. 16. Trey MethodZ (0-1)

I wasn’t feeling this battle at all. Really nothing to me stood out and it seemed voters had just as much trouble deciding as I did. M The Literal got a vote, but Trey got most of them for being more consistent so he won this.

17. Civilized Gangsta (0-0) vs. 18. Area51 (0-0)

This battle was between the two lowest people in the ranks, but was one of the better battles of the week. Only problem was Civilized dissed the wrong picture, lol. He had a few okay lines, but came a bit bland. Area51 had some decent quotables and took the battle.

Battle of the Week

Alphabetized vs. Poporn was probably the best battle of the week. However, I don’t think it was battle of the week quality so this week, there unfortunately was no battle of the week. Step it up guys!

Verse of the Week

I’ve said this in the past, and I’ll say it again. I HATE giving this award to myself, but this was the best verse last week. You lazy bitches gotta try harder.

DaTrusHurtz

I don’t like to stir up fights, but whoever I’m sent is done
I hate to Troublesome losers, but its OBVIOUS ur representing one
…
…
I see ur long hair, old-school look, this ending is mean
U look like a Rockstar…
… that just rolled out of a vending machine
Heard u been around in the rap scene, but this dummy is lame
Ur a club banger, but true gangstas shoot guns and don't come from a cave
Crazy ass motherfucker, u need some dental done
I see ur lookin’ forward, but u should turn around and find a mental one
And in other local news, if this dude hears me
Charles Darwin is PISSED... ur the one who disproved his theory
We all know ur guilty, don’t even try to play me yo
Judge’s gonna tell u to walk it out so far to prison, u’ll be a hit on the radio
We all know ur gay n’ that ur known for whorin’ bums
When you see men you jump up and follow suit…
… and proceed to put on an orange one
That’s one fuckin’ weird ass courtroom, I’m not foolin’
U got a band, but STILL can’t orchestrate a crime u don’t get caught doing


No-Show Shine

DaTrusHurtz



I don’t like to stir up fights, but whoever I’m sent is done
I hate to Troublesome losers, but its OBVIOUS ur representing one
…
…
I see ur long hair, old-school look, this ending is mean
U look like a Rockstar…
… that just rolled out of a vending machine
Heard u been around in the rap scene, but this dummy is lame
Ur a club banger, but true gangstas shoot guns and don't come from a cave
Crazy ass motherfucker, u need some dental done
I see ur lookin’ forward, but u should turn around and find a mental one
And in other local news, if this dude hears me
Charles Darwin is PISSED... ur the one who disproved his theory
We all know ur guilty, don’t even try to play me yo
Judge’s gonna tell u to walk it out so far to prison, u’ll be a hit on the radio
We all know ur gay n’ that ur known for whorin’ bums
When you see men you jump up and follow suit…
… and proceed to put on an orange one
That’s one fuckin’ weird ass courtroom, I’m not foolin’
U got a band, but STILL can’t orchestrate a crime u don’t get caught doing

Tony Brown

so basically, u a fake jail thug
prolly be at home the next day givin ya mommy a hug
non-creative bastard, u aint doin it right
wit no color in ya life, thas why u wearin black n white
i can tell ya why easily u ain't hard dude
the dude on ya left, look like a even bigger pussy than you
fuckin homo flamer, shit i know this dude is gay
u prolly do just like ya shirt say, n get inmates
here's some advice, bitch stop runnin ya mouth
see you'll get robbed, then shot the second u get out

§howcase

You're not any good, if you really think you are you're wildin',
The only shit that's scary about your bars...is that bitch behind them.
But she doesn't seem like one to do something wrong, so what's next?
She'l probably get another 10 years...just for looking that grotesque.
Not a very happy person, seems she hasn't tasted enough cocks,
I mean she won't even crack a smile...so I guess I'll have to crack Sureloc's.
Her hands are HUGE! Shit, she could jerk off guys till there's nothing left,
Therefore, she could beat off a lot of dudes...and then strangle them to death.
Now sureloc, you are a fucking queerl..sir you're not hot shit,
So is it really a coincidence Sureloc was paired with the only bitch of the topic?

Top Punches

I don’t know if I’ve ever had so much trouble making a top punches section. Seriously, almost everything I saw this week was a bunch of average shit. You guys really gotta step it up. Here’s about all I could find:

Still readin the blah On the shitter, cuz you can't afford to stop it
How the hell you goin to enjoy a shit...With four dudes watchin.

9. CivilizedGangsta to Area51

My punches like alcohol...leave you trashed & ruined.
You ain't no hardcore felon...shit you dressed like you about attend a class reunion.

8. Popcorn to Alphabetized

And in other local news, if this dude hears me
Charles Darwin is PISSED... ur the one who disproved his theory

7. DaTrusHurtz to -Troublesome-

most people incarcerated get an ID number.. but this aint fair
cuz that on ya chest aint a prisoner number...
...its how many times you've been raped since you got there

6. Area51 to Civilized Gangsta

he looks sad and the expression aint fake i know hes a hater
prolly lookin like that cause he aint have no cash
...to buy toilet paper

5. Prycele$$ to tiggobitties

That’s one fuckin’ weird ass courtroom, I’m not foolin’
U got a band, but STILL can’t orchestrate a crime u don’t get caught doing

4. DaTrusHurtz to -Troublesome-

I'd abuse this useless piece of shit, but that'd probably just help
Hes already got the shovel out to dig his fuckin grave himself!

3. Alphabetized to Popcorn

no one ever said you needed to be liked for you to be rapping
but damn you gotta be hated to have mans best friend attacking

2. Area51 to Civilized Gangsta

I see ur long hair, old-school look, this ending is mean
U look like a Rockstar…
… that just rolled out of a vending machine

1. DaTrusHurtz to -Troublesome-

Bitch of the Week

Sureloc Holmes

Generally, he’s been really good about showing for the league. I IM’d him a reminder to please drop his verse. I was talking with a member of the league about no-shows and mentioned Sureloc to him. The member decided to remind Sureloc that he hadn’t dropped yet, to which Sureloc responded, “So?”. Come on man, if you don’t want to compete here, fine, but don’t ruin it for others.

Voting Problems

It seems many members of the league are a bit apathetic about getting votes done. This is likely due to the fact that in the past, I have been pretty lenient about getting votes done given many weeks have only had like 4 battles up for voting. However, I’ve realized that if I don’t strictly enforce shit, a lot people don’t vote so this is changing, and I’m not going to be as easy going. This is just a fair warning to the league. It doesn’t apply to everyone, but for those of you who haven’t been doing your fair share to the league, I’m watching you!

Last Week’s Good Voting Award

NO ONE!!!

Now, the closest anyone came to winning an award was bobericc_lyrics because his votes were probably the most broken done, though not at all times. §howcase probably was the most accurate in his votes talking about what’s good and what’s not, but didn’t break shit down enough to get an award. I’m going to be giving out a weekly award. If someone wins this award 5 times, you will get a win added to your record.

The Boot

No one this week is being given the boot. However, a few of you really need to step your game up and stop half-assing. i.e. hypocrisy? Tiggobitties? Wireless? Step it up guys, I know you can do better.

Welcome!

I’d like to welcome the following members to the league!

AltF4
Axeshun
Dao
Larkin
Out Writechas
Tebo

I hope you guys enjoy the league. If you have any ideas, comments, or concerns, please let me know!

Tip of the Week

This is going to sound really obvious, but be creative! A lot of the verses I’m reading in this league are really lacking in wit and having anything original. This coming week are “I’m a Pimp” battles. This topic should be a lot of fun, but beware, there’s a lot of played shit on this topic. Think of it this way, if the idea comes too easy to you, its prolly be done. Don’t give us the same “I fucked ur mom/girlfriend/the shit everyone hears, be different!

Power Rankings

10. Out Writechas – This dude is dope. If he writes like how he can, he’ll be a real threat in this league.
9. GC – Only 1-2, but has dropped some cool stuff and one loss was by no-show. If he tries he’ll do okay.
8. Popcorn – Same as below, talented for sure, just needs to be sure to come nice week in and week out.
7. Prycele$$ - He’s definitely got talent, just needs to be more consistent and spend time on his verses. If he does that he’ll climb the ranks.
6. Bobericc_Lyrics – Just needs to work on his wording, he’s got some cool ideas. If he continues to work on that, he should climb the ranks.
5. Alphabetized – Still surely elevating, hasn’t been rapping that long, but is improved and usually drops a few good quotables a week.
4. Ancel – Used to be pretty decent, but has been inconsistent so far. Looks like he wants to succeed here, though, so look out for him.
3. §howcase – With the exception of last week, has been dropping solid verses and his only loss was to DaTrusHurtz. Should be back in the title match soon.
2. Tony Brown – Has been doing very good in the league, though, a lot of his wins are by no-show. Has a shot at the title, lets see if he can do it.
1. DaTrusHurtz – Retained the title by no-show over Troublesome. Been dropping at least decent for most of his verses in the league.

Predictions

1. DaTrusHurtz (6-0) vs. 2. Tony Brown (5-1)

Tony’s had a nice season, his only loss was to the man he’s facing this week. Should be a good match, good luck.

3. Ancel (3-1) vs. 4. Alphabetized (2-0)

Should be a pretty even matchup. Ancel’s been around for much longer, but he hasn’t quite regained his old form. I’m going with Ancel puttin’ in some effort and getting’ to the champ match.

5. §howcase (4-1) vs. 6. Bobericc_Lyrics (3-1)
This could be a good match, but Bob’s gonna have to take a little extra time and fix his wording cuz §howcase can land some pretty crisp punches. I’m going with §howcase on this one.

7. Prycele$$ (2-1) vs. 8. Trey MethodZ (1-1)

Both of these dudes faced pretty weak verses and were rewarded with wins. Prycele$$ came much better, though, than Trey did and I think he’ll win this.

9. Wireless (3-3) vs. 10. Popcorn (1-1)

Wireless can be nice, but he really just isn’t putting forth any effort. Popcorn isn’t bad, definitely has potential. I got Popcorn here.

11. i.e. hypocrisy (1-1) vs. 12. tiggobitties (1-1)

These two really need to step it up this week as they didn’t come very good last week. Kinda a toss-up here, but I’ll go with tiggobitties.

13. M The Literal (1-1) vs. 14. Civilized Gangsta (0-1)

CivilizedGangsta hasn’t rapped in awhile, but he used to be okay. It might take him awhile to get back into it. M the literal is still fairly new at this so I got Civilized winning.

15. GC (1-2) vs. 16. Out Writechas (0-0)

This will be a good battle if both show. Out Writechas is one of the most talented dudes to sign into this league so hopefully he’ll put on a good show. GC isn’t bad, but I got Out here.

17. Dao (0-0) vs. 18. Larkin (0-0)

Two heads I recruited to the league this week. Should be another decent battle right here, but I’ve only read a little from each of these guys. Neither is new at all, but I got Larkin on this one.

19. Sonny Dimebags (0-0) vs. 20. Tebo (0-0)

Sonny was in the LBL for awhile, but took a break from rap. I think The I’m A Pimp kinda battle should suit his style well and play into his strengths. Tebo isn’t bad, but still elevating so I got Sonny.

21. Axeshun (0-0) vs. 22. AltF4 (0-0)

Hard to predict this because I haven’t really seen anything from AltF4 to know if he’s any good. Axeshun is okay so for that reason I’m going with him.

Outro

Again, sorry for the lack of a mag the past few weeks. This league is still not what I envisioned it, but it is slowly improving as the number of no-shows is decreasing to a very reasonable number and more heads are signing in. Tell your friends about the league, I can only recruit so many heads myself. The I’m A Pimp Battle concept should be a lot of fun and give you all a unique opportunity to self-hype ur game. Take advantage of it. Pz