Battle Rules:

6 - UNLIMITED Lines
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting

TOPIC - Pride

Minimum posts to vote: 45

Check in by: 07-22-05 at 02:45 PM

Must drop verse in 1440 minutes after check in.

Paroxysm has ACCEPTED this battle on 07-22-05 01:45 PM.

Limited Edition has ACCEPTED this battle on 07-22-05 02:03 PM.

"The charity that hastens to proclaim its good deeds, ceases to be charity, and is only PRIDE and ostentation." - William Hutton

At the pub alone seated unfocused from Tequila,
Held a shaggy wallet picture of her... I miss you Sheila
Diluted with intoxicants impairing my brain
I hunch depressed swept the shot glasses out of my way
Although I knew of what became that made us broken in bond
These memories we shared together now were shattered and gone
Beside the glass reflected scene aside the window I sat
Scanned the city nights recallin' where we use to be at
On the corner... right there... on 23rd and Sycamore
That's where I gathered bravery confessin love metaphors
To my bed.. held together lovin, sex on the floor
I reflected back the visions of affection we poured
Enamored deeply... I stood to pay my drink and then left
Into the streets humming barely ventilating a breath
My broken english was drowned with leery slurs in my speech
My arms extended hoping balance would be seen in my reach
Thru the streets I descended huddled deep in my coat
Till a noise awoke me sober to what seemed to be known
Out about along the alley some steps ahead of me
I peeked the corner to find that I dropped my Hennessey
An adolescent teen screamin was grasped in the lips
By some middle age Hispanics yappin native tongue shit
In a struggle, she slipped to find them sittin on top
This girl was uncontainable to let her panties get dropped
I froze witness to thinkin this unfortunate event
Stood emotionally clutched to see honey get bent
To my own intimidation as i stared with no act
I had no use of offense to make these neguhz retract
Then I ran thru a thought of somethin tragic to seek
What if my girl was the one they tried to take in the street
To perform brute intentions, violate her morale
With reaction to that thought... I instantly went wild
In pursuit I charged... took one to the ground
Three swings aside his skull and he ceased to make sound
The other came attackin, and wielded a knife
Jumped upon to shank my heart jeopardizing my life
In a struggle I laid held tight to his wrist
While he clutched to push his effort with the knife in his fist
I glared at the sparkle... the blade to my face
Losin' strength to hold my life closing fast in its pace
Suddenly... somethin shattered and soon as I blinked
He fell on top of me aside with some alcoholic drink
Soaked upon me and him.. with fragments of glass
The adolescent teen struck him... and his conscious went past
But as I raised myself.. pain struck on my chest
I felt the crushing sensation of his knife on my breast
I froze gettin shivers... I was losing much blood
The girl yelled out for help.. my hands graspin on mud (48)


I dug.. inside my pocket... the picture I took
Held my honey soaked in blood.. and took 1 last look
Then I croaked... at the adolescent... touched on her chin
Placed the photo on her hands....





...my life came to an end.



(From a distant.. the teen covers her face with the photo in her hand crying.... as the heroic teen lays... dead... and a image of a broken Hennessey bottle dripping steadily and slowly into a gutter as the scene fades out.)






End.

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Voted For: Paroxysm

great verse there......

u came out hard on top wit good verses and i can tell that your fav topics pride....and u truly earned my pride

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Bizarre

The Element

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Voted For: Limited Edition

ok nice topical battle here very good at the imaginative from both competitors they were both very imaginative so good job at it....
LE- Ur verse was very good structure was good and flow and had that emotion there too...as well and the vocab was aight u could work on that.....
P-ok ur verse was good as well nice verse from the strucutre but didnt really like the verse cuz didnt really have enough of that emotion u kno u need to work more on that emotion but besides that u did a very good job.....
V/ LE cuz the verse had more emotion and at the same time a better structure..but good job from the both yall both did good bt my v/ goes to LE

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RTF wit a honest vote in my battles links are in my sig or vote gets removed

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1-1 lets get some more votes in here please thanks people

You actually call this a vote..? It is unexlpained...this shouldn't count.

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Soundclick
NEW Myspace

Bizumpin for some more votes thanks guys.................

Voted For: Limited Edition

yo both yall was tight but ima finna give iyt to limted idditon cuz it was more deep an shit

pz homie!! 1!!

This really shoudln't count either...but we're even now...

Uppin'...I will return favors...

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Uppin'...........

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