song is called I TRY...came out pretty ill.....i want to re-record so please give me feedback on shit i can improve when i re record....!!


I TRY - http://profile.myspace.com/index.cf...iendid=45538435


left feed on Q's track, ike's wave track, the poll, and one of mas's track....pretty much most the songs up here....so yea

__________________

Word.....I think we talked about this on AIM, but I don't think I gave you my full attention to the song, so I'll tell you again...lol


Aight man, from right off the bat I noticed that the vocals seem a tad bit loud. I don't know if it's too loud or just that your lyrics are too raw cut for this type of beat. You need to mix it into the beat a bit. Maybe add an echo or something. Mostly, I think you could benefit from lowering your vocals a bit.

Next is your breath control. You seemed to take weird breath pauses in the first verse to me. If you're having problems with breathing you can combat it like I do. What I do is take a real deep breath before I start spitting so I can get a good head start.

Cadence is another thing that I noticed you were slacking on a bit in the third verse. That's just when I noticed it. You sound like you're trying to chop it up and pronounce each syllable, but you started slurring your word together a bit. The way I fix that is by over-exagerating my mouthing.

This wasn't all bad though man....I don't want to make it seem that way. Your delivery and presence were there man. You delivered it very well and I think that your production makes your presence unbelievable man. You definitely got those down along with the lyrics and all that jazz, but just need a little fine tuning.


Thought you might benefit from some actual feed instead of the regular bullshit people usually get...lol


Good shit man

__________________

exactly what im asking for......cuz when i re record this i need to know what to fix

__________________

YO I peeped this ain't got time to leave much feed. but this shit was pretty coo son. was good listen. word

__________________

ayo this is actually pretty good with this beat..

lyrically was pretty good..i liked it. but your flow was odd..not really the flow but the spots that you took breaths at..your voice was cool..it matched with the beat..


ayo im actually writing to this beat right now..hit me up on AIM maybe we can get a collabo...

oh yeah my AIM is Meehahaha

Best line hands down:
but there's more track ahead so i keep running

ok the beat was incredibly dope, i'm not a big fan of "perfect flow" ya know, there was nothing wrong with it to me. Making akward pauses in a track makes the track seem more "human" ya know. and that's what this track was about was basically worldly limitations and how all we can do is try, so the way you delivered it added to it actually and made an unbelievable presence. Only problem i heard was the production in which the vocals were too loud and made the performance seem a bit uglier but that sounded like more of a mic problem.

I would have definatly done this track with you asshole it's dope and i'm disappointed you didn't ask me to be on it. :cry:

Straight up this was a straight download it's on my computer in my rv playlist now.

(Yes i listen to rv artists in recreation)

No rtf just like to help.

__________________
My SpellBook

GET DOPER

Knowledge is Power, Stop being Weak

Featuring such heads as...Tha Q, 9th degree, Enygma,The green team, Big J and probably you! SO DON'T SLEEP!

i didnt know you still came around i mighta asked....word n the vocals are not to loud....its the myspace player...they are right on for car stereo...but myspace sucks ass...

__________________

i hate listening through myspace..compresses the tracks and makes the quality not so good....

but anyways.......im loving this beat..its ill man....

when u say "im racing to be the best" it seems kinda rushed...smooth that out when u re record....ahh man i think on the hook....i didnt really listen to exactly what the sample was saying...but i think at the end of the bars...u should repeat the ends of the lines of the sample...just to make the hook a lil more catchy...so people have something to sing with.....do it in kind of a melody.....im tellin u...it would be dopeness..i was just doing it in my head.....pretty catchy lol........

i LOVE the make it rain line........this is a dope track man...really...when u redo...MIX THE FUCK OUT OF IT....get this sounding as good as u can....cause if its done right....there would be some serious bumpage on this track

__________________

laurel huh? rite close by... flow is good i like how u came in, flow is like a half half to me i am not sure if i feel like ur voice is original or a complete jack off others... its like i dunno for tha most part im feelin this track there was just a few points i was like hmm this sounds like ___ or maaan that was just like ______ third verse i think comes in kinda nerdy but then u pick it up again.. yea u are a double edged artist, u have a part that wows me followed by a part that kinda gives me a poo face... if u work out a few flaws u would def b ahead of every other homo on this site...

__________________

best Audio Head May- the Omen*

OMEN ON MYSPACE

[/b]

thanks for the feed....but i dont get who i sound like in this song.....n voice wise or flow wise....i dont get that part......

__________________

ill beat, i really dont get down on this typa track but i like the vibe, and u aint rushin shit like most the cats who tryta spit lyrical, i think ya vocals are at the right level, quality sounds good to me...this shit is tight

__________________
southbeachmiamiho

Uppin a dope ass track for my mans come on people...

__________________
My SpellBook

GET DOPER

Knowledge is Power, Stop being Weak

Featuring such heads as...Tha Q, 9th degree, Enygma,The green team, Big J and probably you! SO DON'T SLEEP!

damn black no one is showin love on this track....n i thought i would get some good tips...

__________________