yo im just gonna drop off the top of my head so dont dis if this shit aint complex aight just tell me what i need to do to get better at flowin if it sucks.....

Aight aight aight......
when I spit you shit when I shit you it so suck my fuckin dick you 'wack-ass' prick//
dam when i rap it's like im spitin wit a gun cause every cat i spitat it like im murdin-em//
I'm like shady when i come, just kidding i spit this shit for fun//
You know its funny when i see these faggots run//
don't talk shit cause you'll be leaving the fuckin scene//
you see this shoe im untien-it and hangin you wit the string//

and uh and uh

yo it's time to up it when i flow like a mercadees benz im on a fuckin role///
my spitz are harder then viagra mixed wit dole//
you facen me is like mugsy bouges to monunt bowl//
the game is to be told and not sold so you wack faggots aint passin go//
fuck no you aint gettin 2 hundred dollars//
I pop collars i like to punk faggots for dey money wack at-the-mallers//
i cross-over ballers you kids to me is is like hundreds to fuckin dollars//
word-play yo 'holler' im on a 'haul' known for 'hitten-switches' on these bitches//
i come 'tighter' then nunz and fo's who penny-pinch they richness//

out

well..honestly..sunny..ya flow was weak..next time try and do this...at the end of ya bars homeboy..make the words rhyme..and work on ya vocab...

flow was your weak point, content was kinda humorous.. this was ok.. try to make your bars the same length so the flow won't be off, spit it at your own pace aiight.. i see ok potential and an attempt at wordplay which is ok.. not that BAD though.. peaCe