Round 2

15 Line Min.
25 Line Max.

Check In: Monday, September 15th.

Due: Saturday, September 20th.


Topic: Turn Your Back On The World

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lifes changed quite a bit within the last week of my life...
thers someone out there for everyone even though
many women are fowl and many men are egotisitc
assholes.....off of that....I saw a ~shalom~ sign
and thought of necros crazy ass for a quick minute...
judges..expect abstract illness from both of us forreal...

ill try to do somehting before the deadline...
my lifes been pretty busy as of late...

check in....

...cause when you think about it, those guys were inherently blind. I mean, when you dress up as a six foot tall teenage mutant ninja turtle for a huge movie, you're not going to poke eyeholes just so the actor can see. And as you can see, there wasn't anyplace for the actors to actually see.

It's amazing because you watch the movie and you see those guys fighting and everything, and they are blind and kicking foot clan ass the whole time. The suits themselves I was suprised were so flexable.

Of course, the first movie was the best in terms of costumes. The second movie had skinier and brighter suits. And the third movie had seriously skinny and seriously bright cartoonish turtle costumes. The first movie the costumes just looked so realistic. And they didn't skimp on the mouths either. They actually had the mouths moving in sync with what they were saying, where as in the third movie when they talked it looked like a dubbed japanese film.

And they totally fucked up with Splinter in the third movie. First and second movie they clearly used the same, if not similiar, puppet. But the third movie... ugh... his voice was wack and the puppet was wack. The third movie Splinter disgusted me really.

Um... where was I? Oh yeah, checking in. Good luck, Content.

~Shalom~

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Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

dont place bullshit in battle threads...
has anyone else done this..no...

necro did this because hes part of the competition
you were part...knocked out by shizzy...

if you ever post in any of these threads it should
be on why you think his or hers stood out..

nothings went to my head..its the internet..fucker

Aggraveted sleepers eventually transformed
into insomniacs.....
awaiting the suns battery to die one sixth of
the moon to cry..... ~2~

me being a pleasent phesants tryin to dream
wells irrevelant...
no scapegoat needed ive gave up on
your existance...
some followed but on the other hand
many didnt listen... ~5~

these cast away structures can no longer withstand
the rift raft...
honestly despondencys rendered me devolving to
a chimpanze.... ~7~

Collegiate kindergardener preschooler floor wettin
teeth puller....
stirke a bargain...beg your pardon cant even speak
for street cooler.... ~9~

quotable baby babbles dirty laundrys aired out
in cadence capsules...
this misconcepted super flukes stuck in electric
bugaloo...crush groovin....
this lil gerber babys turned his back so
motherfuck movement... ~12~

So much to school so much to process washed away
reverse progression..
Permenant amnesia set upon me from a time
machine in heaven...
If I ever break the cycle perhaps ill finally
ask this question..
Why did those fat cats accept and
retain me from my brethren....
ive let them down ~17~

Its groundhog day..does somebody wanna play with me?
Its groundhog day so does somebody wanna play? ~19~

All rights reserved for Content and Necromancer...
biters can die.....I wish you the best man...
please take part in this elevation process...

la paz

Wow this stuff is tottally over my head, i feel thick lol, i didnt understand many lines but this one below i did, and i thought it was ill as fuck,

If I ever break the cycle perhaps ill finally
ask this question..
Why did those fat cats accept and
retain me from my brethren....

i really aint the best person to be judging poetry coz i dont know it from adam, lol, but what i saw and understood was good, nice work

Fuck it... will I -ever- make it past the second round of a tournement? Will I always be doomed to lose as a loose loser of a loose noose around the neck to wreck the sec... ond... I make it past the first round?

Anyway, here be my dealy.

~~~
Don't interfere with the fear found in the atmosphere
Let the worm squirm like a vaccinated germ
I appear to your ear like a sincere souvenir
And I say not to burn the turn that you'ved earn
As the world turns, as the world turns
As the world turns, we turn our back on the world
At least I do, trying to be like every boy and girl
First I was twirled then swirled, my guts hurled
Unfurled was I as I walk with a pearl in my eye
But never about me has anyone ever asked me WHY?

Incohereant and unconventional, I'm never understood
Even when I speak so plainly I'm still never understood
So I turn by back on the world, and they never understood
I'm a mime on the phone, Or a cardboard box for a home

Dark apocolyptic orange clouds rain inside my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red
That only happens when the green leaf becomes gray smoke
And that makes me more incohereant, what a joke to invoke!

I AM NOT WITHOUT RHYME OR REASON THOUGH SOMETIMES WITHOUT RHYME!
BUT SINCE NONE OF Y'ALL GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ME...
~~~

~Islam~

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Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

Bloody hell Necro. That was good. Damn good. Some of imagery was quite phenomenal. The links subtle but once you get into it bcomes quite apparent.

Content brought forth a very good piece too. The seemingly fragmented piece which somehow comes together.

Was always going to be one hell of a 'match'. Hard to judge for sure.

damn this was close.....too damn close for my tastes....wqhy couldnt one of you be wack? ok, breakdown:

contents poem came off as a huge jumble of imagery with a general feling of anger/discontent. complex vocab which sometimes defied understanding. overall was good stuff.

necro's was a lot more conventional and down to earth kind of anger, easier to understand, good imagery, the vocab was simpler BUT it had one excellentline which just made my jaw drop.

"I'm a mime on the phone, Or a cardboard box for a home"

good lord!^^

so after much consideration....











vote- The Necromancer

great work both of you.

are you a judge now..Camarac should be
judging this along with Gege and Phrantik...
this tournament was his idea...there wasnt
any anger...just cause of one swear word
im not angry...honestly it was a bad evaluatuion
but if your a judge fuck it...Gege picked the
wrong person to help her judge.....

lets see...my twist on this fucking poem title was to
devolve from what I am now and turn back into a baby...
thus turning my back on the world...electric bugaloo...
I was born in the early eighties...if it wasnt in the eighties
with crush groove, breakin,avengers which im sure it was
fuck me...there wasnt the slightest bit of anger from my write...

Cammys a lot more openminded than johnny..
this is a topical tourney notta front lines tourney

It's important that everyone feels they are being fairly judged.

Camarac will be judging (assuming he agrees to), So all of Johnny's votes thus far will be DISREGARDED.

This battle is 0-0 right now.

It is awaiting votes from Phrantik and/or Camarac.

Ok...
This was very hard because both of you are obviously very imaginative and innovative writers...Each in your own respective ways...

Content~
You always use a lot of personification and that type of thing in your verses, and to tell you the truth, Im a sucker for it. I loved the first stanza,

*awaiting the suns battery to die one sixth of
the moon to cry.....

and that line was just brilliant.

*no scapegoat needed ive gave up on
your existance...
some followed but on the other hand
many didnt listen...

Great reference to the topic, important line in many ways, sort of gave way to the direction the piece was about to take.

*this misconcepted super flukes stuck in electric
bugaloo...crush groovin....
this lil gerber babys turned his back so
motherfuck movement...

Ha....That line was outstanding...The entire image emitted from it, and I love the "lil gerber baby" part..says a lot about the person.
Last stanza was great, the whole tone of the piece was superb, great imagery, nice vocabulary~every word seems perfectly chosen..and It took me a while to understand the groundhog references at the very end, but after a couple minutes I was taken aback as it all clicked and came together for a pretty impactful ending.
Nice job, Content.

Necro~
Your verse was tremendous. Seriously, profound and intense in a way that really made the topic and, every line supporting it, shine through.

*Don't interfere with the fear found in the atmosphere
Let the worm squirm like a vaccinated germ
I appear to your ear like a sincere souvenir
And I say not to burn the turn that you'ved earn

Incredible Imagery in those lines...Imagery is key to getting inside the reader's head..This was a great way to do that and an excellent way to start off the piece.

*As the world turns, as the world turns
As the world turns, we turn our back on the world
At least I do, trying to be like every boy and girl
First I was twirled then swirled, my guts hurled

Amazing how the repitition of a few simple words can be so significant! I sort of got the image of a roller coaster from the last 2 lines there, which could be very symbolic.

*Unfurled was I as I walk with a pearl in my eye
But never about me has anyone ever asked me WHY?

This is the point where the piece really started to pick up, in my opinion.

*Incohereant and unconventional, I'm never understood
Even when I speak so plainly I'm still never understood
So I turn by back on the world, and they never understood
I'm a mime on the phone, Or a cardboard box for a home

^Undoubtedly the best part of the entire poem. The last line there is just so deep and powerful.
And lastly:

*Dark apocolyptic orange clouds rain inside my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red
That only happens when the green leaf becomes gray smoke
And that makes me more incohereant, what a joke to invoke!

I loved this ending...Seriousness mixed with a little dry humor... and quite bizarre to imagine "dark apocolyptic orange clouds" raining inside ones head, and then have the "but that doesnt mean my eyes will soon be turniiiin red" jingle pop into your own...quite effective, yet it reaches the reader on other levels as well. As were the last lines (effective), and the ones in caps lock- which I couldn't really tell if they were part of the piece or just your own personal statement..But it doesnt really matter, cuz either way they seemed to fit in.
Brilliant BRILLIANT piece Necro..Nicely Done.

Content, your piece was extremely well written, great instances of poetic elements sprinkled throughout..You seemed to pull it off, the way you sort of sliced the topic into different aspects to create an emotion in total of them all...
Yet, I liked the way Necro's, contradictively, stayed more concentrated, almost like this allowed him to focus in more on the details and in turn reach further into the imagination to twist it and result in exactly the emotion he wanted to...
Its VERY HARD at this point, 'cause both were effective in their
different styles............................................ ........
aaaaahhhhhhhh....
i gotta go with Content..
Necro, you put up a hell of a good fight tho. I almost was going to vote for you but after rereading a 457th time, I felt Content's ending overall gripped me up the most, and also left me reflecting on the whole message in general, the turning of one's back to the world....
Yours was equally powerful, But I think Content barely slips into the win.
HARD HARD thing to do, pick out of you two wonderful writers.
Im never judging again. Seriously.
Nice job kids.
and Necro, sorry I couldnt contribute to your goal of getting past the second round...

VOTE: CONTENT

I would've voted for Content anyway too. Especially when you consider my poem was about King Kong masturbating to neko-jin pedonecropheliac tentacle rape hentai porn.






































No. Seriously.

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Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

Content - a great verse, i mean like woah! that was dope, great word choice, the structure made it a little hard for me to grasp at first, i read over maybe three times to make sure i took it all in, but yeah, your imagery / writers voice / emotion are what summed this up best, you came dope here, i loved this section:


Necromancer - i dunno about the whole `king kong`theory, but again, a well written verse, a contrasting take on the topic in my opinion, but equally good writers voice, really intense and imagery were its strongest points, i liked both verses but only one can win and to me, Content portraid the topic better, so he gets my vote. Nice job theough Necro, you did well for sure.

Votecontent

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