replied to bloddshed(x2) and wordperfect...

this is a track I wrote a few days ago...not really meant for text but u can still appreciate the multis...it's a fast spittin song and actually stays on beat the entire time...I think it's pretty dope personally but iono if u can appreciate it through text...

(hook)
click to the brain got glocks cocked shot
hit in the brain got glocks cocked shot
gettin insane got glocks cocked shot
in the rain is how pac got shot

shit to the siccest, rippin you bitches//
with these incisions, hittin the switches//
fuckin murder murder stab you in the neck//
never heard or heard of me and my set//
so come correct, bitch don't front//
cuz I'm hungry enough to get ya lunch//
hit those punks with heavy arteliary//
sayin that u crunk but a legend you'll never be//

(hook)
click to the brain got glocks cocked shot
hit in the brain got glocks cocked shot
gettin insane got glocks cocked shot
in the rain is how pac got shot

hittin offendin em with wisidom aim//
gettin the riches with visions to maime//
clickin n vicious so I'm rippin ya fame//
shittin on bitches if u expect me to change I'm gettin a name!!!

shoot me profusely or noose me abuse me//
corrupt n fucked like a pam anderson movie//
move me absolutely u loosely associated hoe//
with an impaled inlongated tounge I expect u to go//
right to hell, don't collect the cash n don't pass go//
and keep in mind if u try u still won't asshole//
fuckas like castro, no votes even from ya biggest fan//
u on my shitlist man I'll get em against u on tha witness stand

(hook)
click to the brain got glocks cocked shot
hit in the brain got glocks cocked shot
gettin insane got glocks cocked shot
in the rain is how pac got shot

my guns bust in nun's cunts//
none of us will run, n fuck//
I'll smack u n battle ya//
with tha soul caliba quick to break ya clavical//
does it matta ya dead up outa ya bed//
ya head n skull dismantled shattered n red//

DOG SHIT, that's what I say about hoes like you//
the chosen few in a hopeless crew w/ an explosive fuse//
I'm chokin you, lasso lynch hangin n ropin you//
open you, until ya broke in two, rollin up n smokin you//
u run into killas that poke fun at you//
a gun blast through ya cranium n son that's true//
u think you the one to ruin fun?//
u'd have a better chance against a bazooka w/ a two inch gun//
u gotta lotta lip but u ain't got the gum so don't chew it son//
face it, ya whole set, family, and fuckin crew is done!!!

(hook)
click to the brain got glocks cocked shot
hit in the brain got glocks cocked shot
gettin insane got glocks cocked shot
in the rain is how pac got shot

damn sleepers

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<center> I.J.L</center>

it flowed nice--seemed fast like you said..the hook was aight, personally i think you should come up with another one but the multis and metaphores were tight

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let's get this shit straight, i'm here to eliminate- them squadz wit feminine traits, there's no escape!

SHIT KEEP IT GANGSTA N GULLY CAUSE THAT SHIT WAS TOUGH... KEEP POSTING UP UR SONGS CAUSE IT GOT MA HEAD BOPPING, ITS LIKE I'M HEARING A BEAT IN MA HEAD THE FLOW IS NICE...

^ thanx...I'll try to post the actual song (I just recorded it today) soon but I don't know if/when my comp will ever let me upload again.

btw thanx for pointin out the hook. It isn't the best hook in the world but then again when u hear it on the beat it's pretty dope...hopefully I can get it up so folks can hear it..

peace

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<center> I.J.L</center>

Yo son u have my congrats off that shit up top it was hot and i liked the hook.Keep doin ya thang playboy

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uppin

__________________
<center> I.J.L</center>

this was very long, but i liked your flow throughout the song.... the structure and scheme were well thought out too.... you need to elevate your advanced rhyming tecnhiques like multis & internals (although you had a few) and metaphors + similes... vocab needs work too.... all in all though, this shit was good
7/10

take a look at my open mic, "Mind Theory" please.... thanks

^ yea I was plannin on peepin that anyway...

n yea I agree that I coulda worked on those things in THIS song but I have so many styles...I been rapping for a while so I have most things down...now I'm trying to put a variety in my style for my audios (which is what this was written for)....neway thanx for the constructive crit..just posted all that so u know I can use good vocab, punchlines or w/e...I just didn't do it in this particular piece....

peace

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<center> I.J.L</center>