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Old 04-19-09, 05:00 AM   #1
Poet Pariah
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Joined: Apr 2009
From: Bedstuy, Brooklyn
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Spoken Words of a Mute Man

IP: 9292 F200

Im new here, this is my first piece



Trapped in a world where nothing grows but anger
Wall's chipped and the air lurks of danger
Someone aid me out of this layer
I'm trammeled in this place with no trace of strangers
It was Me verses Myself when it came to the hard times
Blame came to me, so i sliped to the darkside
Somewhere along the line of life my heart died
Chambers filled with pain but i couldn't let out a far cry
There was no one in sight
Help was needed, but no one believed it
Wounded on the outside
In the inside i was bleeding
Teased all my life for the language i can't speak
What makes you guys so much better than me?
In South Korea i spoke normally
But I walk into the states and something is wrong with me
I caught anxiety and they labeled me depressed
Aced every quiz but i can't handle life's test
Cut off all my hair, since it was falling from the stress
Than let out all my anger on the innocent soul's in Virginia Tech

..Sincerely yours...Seung-Hui Cho
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Old 05-08-09, 04:13 AM   #2
fuck yuu
iBully
 
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Posts: 984
Joined: Sep 2004
Status: Offline
IP: 5985 21AD

I actually liked this. I thought it had good imagery and some strong emotion to it. I didnt really like the parts that rhymed, some seemed forced because you was trying.to rhyme it. But all in all i enjoyed it. Id like to see more from you.

but you need two links to keep this open
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