RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases > Poetic Scriptures
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 12-12-06, 02:22 AM   #1
[♡]_Fuck_you_ho
♡»..::[[.вlιиgαα.]]::..«♡
 
[♡]_Fuck_you_ho's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,965
Joined: Mar 2004
From: ☆•°•☆яαρvεяεѕε☆•°•☆
Status: Offline
|[. It wasn't .]|

IP: E460 D957

It wasn't- destined to be, let it rest in the sea..
we were doomed when I saw in you the reflection of me...
to lessen the sting, I prayed and confessed it to be..
rested to breathe, and in the end chased sex as a feind...
blessed is she, a soul murdered in the second degree..
my essence is key, numb to life, so in effort to sing...
I shun my life run by fright to avoid it again..
wall off my heart so it won't get destroyed in the wind...

It wasn't- all I could do, after all i've been through..
fallin' for two, but in my dreams I keep callin' for you...
i'm lonely now, it's only how you console me now..
that holds me down from the rapture that calls my name...
it all sounds lame and insane but the pain in my brain..
exclaimin' for change strains to arrange blades to my veins..
and I try to resist, wake up from the dream findin' my fists...
at sides in a clinch, just a dream, truth I can find in the mist..


- Comments please.
__________________
|[. You're annoying. Fuck off .]|

Send a message via MSN to [♡]_Fuck_you_ho Send a message via Yahoo to [♡]_Fuck_you_ho   Reply With Quote
Old 12-14-06, 10:50 PM   #2
Cola
Pushin it....
 
Cola's Avatar
 
Posts: 7,966
Joined: Nov 2006
From: Round tha way
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-1
Audio Record: 1-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 279C 786E

It wasn't- destined to be, let it rest in the sea..
we were doomed when I saw in you the reflection of me...
to lessen the sting, I prayed and confessed it to be..
rested to breathe, and in the end chased sex as a feind...
My favorite line through out the whole thing...
blessed is she, a soul murdered in the second degree..
my essence is key, numb to life, so in effort to sing...
----^ i was feeling this entire set of words, very deep and soulful
I shun my life run by fright to avoid it again..
wall off my heart so it won't get destroyed in the wind...

It wasn't- all I could do, after all i've been through..
fallin' for two, but in my dreams I keep callin' for you...
i'm lonely now, it's only how you console me now..
that holds me down from the rapture that calls my name...
it all sounds lame and insane but the pain in my brain..
exclaimin' for change strains to arrange blades to my veins..
and I try to resist, wake up from the dream findin' my fists...
at sides in a clinch, just a dream, truth I can find in the mist..
I was feeling how it was a dream, I felt like this before.
A good read, you should do longer version's if you get a chance. But great poem.


- Comments please.


by the way...will you...umm marry me?
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lysol
But Eminem is the best.





Destroyin Tricks on the Daily


  Reply With Quote
Old 12-15-06, 04:20 AM   #3
[♡]_Fuck_you_ho
♡»..::[[.вlιиgαα.]]::..«♡
 
[♡]_Fuck_you_ho's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,965
Joined: Mar 2004
From: ☆•°•☆яαρvεяεѕε☆•°•☆
Status: Offline
IP: E460 D957

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tha_Don_of_Mics
It wasn't- destined to be, let it rest in the sea..
we were doomed when I saw in you the reflection of me...
to lessen the sting, I prayed and confessed it to be..
rested to breathe, and in the end chased sex as a feind...
My favorite line through out the whole thing...
blessed is she, a soul murdered in the second degree..
my essence is key, numb to life, so in effort to sing...
----^ i was feeling this entire set of words, very deep and soulful
I shun my life run by fright to avoid it again..
wall off my heart so it won't get destroyed in the wind...

It wasn't- all I could do, after all i've been through..
fallin' for two, but in my dreams I keep callin' for you...
i'm lonely now, it's only how you console me now..
that holds me down from the rapture that calls my name...
it all sounds lame and insane but the pain in my brain..
exclaimin' for change strains to arrange blades to my veins..
and I try to resist, wake up from the dream findin' my fists...
at sides in a clinch, just a dream, truth I can find in the mist..
I was feeling how it was a dream, I felt like this before.
A good read, you should do longer version's if you get a chance. But great poem.


- Comments please.


by the way...will you...umm marry me?



Thank you, Chris- for the feedback.
__________________
|[. You're annoying. Fuck off .]|

Send a message via MSN to [♡]_Fuck_you_ho Send a message via Yahoo to [♡]_Fuck_you_ho   Reply With Quote
Old 12-15-06, 09:19 PM   #4
Cola
Pushin it....
 
Cola's Avatar
 
Posts: 7,966
Joined: Nov 2006
From: Round tha way
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-1
Audio Record: 1-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 279C 786E

umm...so...about marryin me?
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lysol
But Eminem is the best.





Destroyin Tricks on the Daily


  Reply With Quote
Old 12-16-06, 09:08 PM   #5
[♡]_Fuck_you_ho
♡»..::[[.вlιиgαα.]]::..«♡
 
[♡]_Fuck_you_ho's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,965
Joined: Mar 2004
From: ☆•°•☆яαρvεяεѕε☆•°•☆
Status: Offline
IP: E460 D957

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tha_Don_of_Mics
umm...so...about marryin me?


We will both forget you ever asked.
__________________
|[. You're annoying. Fuck off .]|

Send a message via MSN to [♡]_Fuck_you_ho Send a message via Yahoo to [♡]_Fuck_you_ho   Reply With Quote
Old 12-16-06, 10:06 PM   #6
Cola
Pushin it....
 
Cola's Avatar
 
Posts: 7,966
Joined: Nov 2006
From: Round tha way
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-1
Audio Record: 1-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 279C 786E

.....my dreams are so fucked now.....

get on MSN some more ....
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lysol
But Eminem is the best.





Destroyin Tricks on the Daily


  Reply With Quote
Old 12-18-06, 01:22 PM   #7
Heychoo
Middle Weight
 
Posts: 583
Joined: Jun 2006
From: tennessee.
Status: Offline
IP: B5FC C163

It started off well, but towards the end of the first stanza it seemed as if it died down a bit....I really think your rhyme scheme hindered it a bit, but hey, it's your style, do what you want to with it. The second stanza to me was a bunch of broken cliche's, but I still liked it man..Good writing, keep it up.
__________________
accomplishments:

being better than you @ life x9.
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-06, 01:12 AM   #8
[♡]_Fuck_you_ho
♡»..::[[.вlιиgαα.]]::..«♡
 
[♡]_Fuck_you_ho's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,965
Joined: Mar 2004
From: ☆•°•☆яαρvεяεѕε☆•°•☆
Status: Offline
IP: E460 D957

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wireless
It started off well, but towards the end of the first stanza it seemed as if it died down a bit....I really think your rhyme scheme hindered it a bit, but hey, it's your style, do what you want to with it. The second stanza to me was a bunch of broken cliche's, but I still liked it man..Good writing, keep it up.



Thanks for the feedback- most appreciated. Just to inform you i'm a female.
__________________
|[. You're annoying. Fuck off .]|

Send a message via MSN to [♡]_Fuck_you_ho Send a message via Yahoo to [♡]_Fuck_you_ho   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-08, 01:49 PM   #9
Cola
Pushin it....
 
Cola's Avatar
 
Posts: 7,966
Joined: Nov 2006
From: Round tha way
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-1
Audio Record: 1-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: F3E4 5E69

^^ this bitch is way hotter than Funfilled
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lysol
But Eminem is the best.





Destroyin Tricks on the Daily


  Reply With Quote
Old 07-27-08, 12:00 AM   #10
50Cal.
STROBE's Favorite Rapper
 
50Cal.'s Avatar
 
Posts: 11,051
Joined: Aug 2004
From: New York
Status: Offline
Text Record: 62-23
Audio Record: 9-2
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 28AD 5545

ok this could either be a rap or a nice spoken word piece.the vocab is good,as is the picture you try to bring accross.the flow is good and the way it is wrote makes it easy to flow through.i didnt too much like the end and think you could have pulled something off better or maybe even worded it diffrently.it wasnt nothing great but it was good and im a hard person to impress.i give it a 7/10
__________________
Overall Rapverse Record Including Leagues

94-29
R.I.P RAPVERSE
Send a message via AIM to 50Cal.   Reply With Quote
Old 07-27-08, 01:33 AM   #11
Also Known.
 
Posts: 1,529
Joined: Jun 2004
From: Sacramento, CA
Status: Offline
Text Record: 14-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 9165 3B7B

"Falling for two"

My favorite words this is a dope piece the multies and flow were real nice i can feel the emotions behind it. Keep it up. And if your as cute as they say drop in the mugshots
__________________

THE TRUTH IS I'M BETTER THAN YOU
Send a message via AIM to Also Known.   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:58 PM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.