|
|
|
|
| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
02-10-04, 09:21 PM
|
#1
|
|||||||
|
See ya.
|
Individual v. Public
IP: 4577 CD9A
Penskills is. . Jessica Lynch
I'm walking on Hollow Grounds, a labyrinth of millions Filled with bloody stains and clamy prints of children Cremated Tongues coat my lungs...and I'm never knowin Trippin over gnarled bones, that graves are overflowin Now I've seen the dead, not those' lived in lovin, but Those that died open eyed, flung open wide in judgement Chained to a Cov'nent whose eyes sigh in resignation Of life lost in Dreams mocked, by Death's preservation Dignity holds no weight,they believe the grass is greener on only their side As in infinity, a cycle of hate-broken and mended by the faults they hide For polluted minds no sun shall rise,they lack and know only the setting Lost, their words are but a disguise,hooked on substance they're caught in the netting Inscribed in ashes within the Devil's book: names he lies claim to Not their soul but mind he took,blood on blood they will rise and fall like Rome's famed two... I am. . Public, the
The bottoms fit conglomerates of different shapes and sizes, It's our job to scratch the bottom-feeders and anticipate disguises. . A perfect body? Realize, we're forced to teleprompt and test you, We saw propaganda rear its face in the form of the helicopter rescue. . Curbing the kid in me, perhaps deserving of bigotry, The marketable was marketed in the form of the suburban epitome. . Well-fed & two-faced; dare I say: a skillful, wily mouse, Who has tattered our nation's name via Bill O'Reilly's mouth. . Retrieving the bright dollars and deceiving contrite scholars. . This victory is smeared across the dearest hearts & sleeves of the white-collared. . Well-orchestrated; consequences discarded hearts in blunder Perplexing 'minds' on the daily; and making Barbara Walters wonder. . Untattered, like fun mattered; even the British eyes could scold her, But after serving our country, how can we criticize our soldiers? Again, a genius plan - I see Rumsfeld blessing the rich shows, They saved his ass, but what happened? Only Jessica Lynch knows. 
__________________
Word for Word
Kevin - Patrick - Alex - John - Ian . . the artists formerly known as Word Perfect . . Still > you. R h y m e | V a n t a g e |
|||||||
|
|
02-10-04, 09:30 PM
|
#2
|
||||
|
Banned: Spamming
|
IP: C1DA C961
Koalatee and I worked on this for about 30~40mins, we had no clue what each others verse was going to come out like(although since he is one the brightest writers on this site, and I could count on him to back me up,if mine failed),I just wanted to give him props on writing a such great piece in such a short time..I hope you will enjoy this..peace...~My sig is cool!!!!
XXX-I had someone AIM me and ask me who Jessica Lynch was...I won't say any names*Cough*dazasta*cough*..but if you don't know her by now...I don't know what to tell you... Last edited by Penskills : 02-10-04 at 09:42 PM. |
||||
 
|
|
|
02-10-04, 09:42 PM
|
#3
|
|||
|
"The Eleete"
|
IP: 3C42 2871
This has Legends written all over.......have to say I know you Pen an you always come strong with your shit......As for Koalatee I must say never heard you before but now am interested in more of your writings! Great drop! Imagery (I stress on that all the time) was amazing! Great piece!!! The subjectbeing as touchy as it is was approached very well.....(I'm in the military) ...I mean I'm stunned........if this don't get into legends nothing will.......great job to both Pen an Koalatee!!!!
Last edited by ELEETE : 02-10-04 at 09:45 PM. |
|||
|
|
|
02-10-04, 09:43 PM
|
#4
|
||||
|
So Tired Of It.
|
IP: 4577 CD9A
penskills.......and k huh?....im continually amazed by the talent that many of you show..i did not know who jess lynch was until pen explained it to me and now that i know..i find this peice very dope......pen shut up!....sorry i didnt know i dont cnsider her that important...but this peice is woah...everything on point.and pen i wanna collab you hoe!
__________________
<center> Best Topical League On The Net: The Lyceum $400 IN CASH PRIZES!!!! The Prizes: 1st Place: $250 and 2 round bye next season 2nd Place: $75 and 1 round bye next season 3rd Place: $25 and 5 votes next season Best Record: $25 and 5 votes next season Best Verse: $25 and 5 votes next season Don't miss out on your chance to win big amounts of real cash! Just contact Celestial for more info! </center> |
||||
 
|
|
|
02-11-04, 07:03 AM
|
#5
|
|||||||
|
See ya.
|
IP: 87B0 7F3F
UPPED, please.
__________________
Word for Word
Kevin - Patrick - Alex - John - Ian . . the artists formerly known as Word Perfect . . Still > you. R h y m e | V a n t a g e |
|||||||
|
|
|
02-11-04, 07:37 AM
|
#6
|
||||||
|
Guest
|
IP: 40D6 EBC3
Good piece...
Flow was consistant... Nice vocabulary... Dont know who 'Jessica Lynch' is... So a dont understand it really... Keep it up a guess... Hit up something in my sig... Pz... |
||||||
|
|
|
02-11-04, 09:14 AM
|
#7
|
|||||||
|
New to RB
|
IP: 1D04 65C4
I'm new here and pen I've read alot of your work....you don't need compliments...you know you're dope. Koalatee that was the first thing I've evr read of your's and trust me I'll be reading more that was brilliant. If that was written in forty minutes then I've got no criticism. I'd be stretched to find a criticism if it took ya forty days. Very nice.
if anyone gets a chance please peep my verse. First one, be nice. |
|||||||
|
|
|
02-11-04, 09:40 AM
|
#8
|
|||||
|
Banned: Spamming
|
IP: 399E F0FD
Quote:
^Thanks..and Koalatee's probaly the btightest writer on this site!  |
|||||
|
|
|
|
02-11-04, 12:02 PM
|
#9
|
||||
|
Banned: Spamming
|
IP: C1DA C961
wow...we getting slept on..
|
||||
|
|
|
|
02-11-04, 12:06 PM
|
#10
|
|||||||
|
The Golden Chyld
|
IP: 17B3 6207
Damn .. Sicc collab fellas .. Haters .. LoL .. I was feelin' the concept .. Dopeness men .. Both of U complemented eachother so well in this and that was dope .. Both verses were written well .. G came wit that crazy vocab he's known for .. Penskills delivered another nice verse .. Overall means a dope collab .. My quote from this tho comes from Hod's verse ..
Well-fed & two-faced; dare I say: a skillful, wily mouse, Who has tattered our nation's name via Bill O'Reilly's mouth. . Retrieving the bright dollars and deceiving contrite scholars. . This victory is smeared across the dearest hearts & sleeves of the white-collared. . That part of ur verse was sick as hit-say man .. Mad props on that .. Again dope job on the collab here .. Keep writin' .. One |
|||||||
|
|
|
|
02-11-04, 12:13 PM
|
#11
|
||||||
|
Guest
|
IP: 24A3 0EF0
thats gay as hell
i wrote a long chunk of words discussing the verses and the jessica lynch shit.. and thought id posted it but its not here = ! sorry well basically this was dope.. pen.. nice verse got that side of the story across well and some tight imagery usage nothing to really complain about except the latter lines seemed to get a bt elongated but eh..still good really good collab g.hods piece was outstanding.. littered with subtle jibes at politics and sarcastically done with a range of vocab ended it perfectly as well kind of returning it back to the first verse you clearly know your subject matter well.. and displayed a great talent for writing on this issue dope props |
||||||
|
|
|
02-11-04, 01:52 PM
|
#12
|
|||||||
|
1E
|
IP: DF7B C8F7
interesting choice of topic, but not really my thing.... you handled it well, both of you, pen, yours started off rreally nice, and stayed pretty constant, but the last third, seemed to a different flow, cos it was stretched a bit, koal, your verse had a nice flow going too, and some nice wording..... it followed nicely from pens,.... but like i said, didnt really captivate me..... good collab tho
|
|||||||
|
|
|
|
02-11-04, 04:06 PM
|
#13
|
||||
|
Banned: Spamming
|
IP: 64FF 9747
^thanks..more please~~~~~~~~~~
|
||||
|
|
|
|
02-11-04, 07:32 PM
|
#14
|
|||||||
|
See ya.
|
IP: 87B0 7F3F
I feel embarrassed upping so much. . Thanks to fgee & co.
__________________
Word for Word
Kevin - Patrick - Alex - John - Ian . . the artists formerly known as Word Perfect . . Still > you. R h y m e | V a n t a g e |
|||||||
|
|
 |
| Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Linear Mode
