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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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06-02-07, 08:24 AM
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#1
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On The Air - COMIN JAN 07
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Whats The Results?(spoken word)
IP:
Word its been a while since I dropped
figure I mine as well drop something Take HEED I didn't mix this and I recorded it through headphones. LISTEN CLOSE TO THE LYRICS!! ill re-record tommorow i'm getting my set up today!! http://www.soundclick.com/bands/son...&songID=5408456 ====== links ==== http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=241801 ==== http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=241918 |
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06-02-07, 11:20 AM
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#2
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I have a lot to learn...
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IP:
The whole HIV thing has been done a lot, to be honest, and a lot of the time the impact is lost because people become insensitive to it. I was really feeling this spoken word though. The concept was mysterious at the beginning, you could only see a small part of the whole picture. I liked the way it developed and slowly lifted the veil on the situation and its background. A little bit in I assumed it would just be a sort of sob story about the girl waiting, but then you also developed the "character" of the guy and his story. In a good way as well, I don't know if it was intentional or not but it was like you'd say all this stuff to make him seem like the bad guy, then say something that brings him down to earth and makes him seem like a normal person. It makes you think about how people who seem normal aren't always normal, and people who seem bad aren't always bad. The twist at the end wrapped the whole thing up nicely.
Flow was good... Delivery and correct cadence helped retain interest, it didn't seem like you were droning on or getting boring at any point. I especially liked the rhyming at the last few lines, which added to the impact. Definitely a successful first go at spoken word. It was cool with no beat, but I think next time you do a spoken word track you should give it a go with a beat, Immortal Technique style. It doesn't even have to be a rap beat. But if you find that it turns out sounding like an average rap track instead of spoken word, just forget about the beat because acapella isn't bad at all.
__________________
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06-02-07, 03:31 PM
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#3
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On The Air - COMIN JAN 07
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IP:
word thanks a lot teru.... i really appreciate that feed
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06-02-07, 07:54 PM
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#4
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On The Air - COMIN JAN 07
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IP:
worrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrd upp
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06-02-07, 11:09 PM
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#5
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On The Air - COMIN JAN 07
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IP:
uppity upncncnc
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06-03-07, 12:46 PM
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#6
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I'm Talented.Period.
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IP:
dude...all the talkin in the beginning isn't necessary...just TALK
lol ur voice sounds good for this...but I'd like a more consistent rhyme scheme...and if you're going to be erratic with the scheme, then you delivery needs to carry it This was pretty cool... Keep droppin |
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06-04-07, 05:55 AM
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#7
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On The Air - COMIN JAN 07
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IP:
:/
i'm just trying to get more feed now ya'll come on! |
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06-04-07, 12:38 PM
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#8
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Addicted
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IP:
this shit was cool i can hear everything u were sayin....
your flow came clean... gud dhit homie... |
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