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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
02-16-06, 09:29 AM
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#1
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New to RV
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The Broken Mirror
IP: 297A EE7B
There I am looking back at my own reflection thru the glass
hoping so intensely that my future is clearer than the past …Few years fucking in oblivion blurred, masked behind cloud obscure omens clutter my path, I seek refuge under the shroud Far from the harshness of realism, beyond all realms of indifference …using telepathy as anew figure-of-speech and significance A distant land beckons me, still I’m turned in reverse by destiny …in the shape of icy threats and verbal WordPerfect weaponry It makes no difference to me between one conception & the next my rhymes roll on, like one big continuous conundrum of stress I reveal hits, my will to live breaking thru brick-walls wit steel-fists ya’ll cats feel it, I spill true-life, make truth stick n hit fans wit real shit Fools slip on my words, it’s diabolic, and politics get on the nerves I could flip on the verge of a chronic sickness n let rip on the Earth Defend my grim bones spitting fire & brimstone, hotness is brewing then scrape my eyes from their sockets so I’ll no longer witness the ruin Stomping over concrete cracks, the street collapses in my aftermath …I pen in a fever as I complete the last chapters of my epitaph. Here lies the spirit of a soldier sunken in drunken fits of anger I stare back at the mirror, my vision freezes over; it’s a cliff-hanger ………………To be continued linkages- http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=222170 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=222347 |
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02-17-06, 03:43 PM
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#2
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Flyweight
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IP: 3450 F354
this was a deep pieace with gud use of volcab and rhyme words,,,, structure was pretty gud and topik was deep
keep elevatin 1 |
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02-18-06, 11:35 AM
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#3
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New to RV
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IP: 297A EE7B
safe
bump i wrote this a few weeks back.. i already wrote the next part as well might post it sometime.. if any 1 would like to see it that is ? |
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02-19-06, 08:33 AM
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#4
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New to RV
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IP: 297A EE7B
lolz...
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sleepy ...guess we'll skip on postin da p'rt 2 then |
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02-19-06, 10:39 AM
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#5
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 5A28 5A7B
this was a deep piece, good vocabulary and the imagery was pretty good, structure was pretty nice and you stayed on the topic well... the multies were pretty cool and the word usage was good, keep it up
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02-21-06, 08:58 AM
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#6
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New to RV
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IP: 0080 CDEC
thanx Savior
raise |
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03-03-06, 10:16 AM
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#7
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New to RV
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IP: 0080 CDEC
uppin to the top
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03-03-06, 04:38 PM
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#8
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GG Haterz
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IP: 075A 367A
Eh, nothing that special to me. Maybe it's just cuz I've read stuff a lot like this before. Everything was decent, but there was nothing wow worthy. Didn't really keep my attention, you have potential. Keep writing.
__________________
 Quote:
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me  ^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly. |
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03-05-06, 07:31 PM
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#9
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New to RV
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IP: 41C7 6B94
Yeah feels like I've read this before. Technically this was good and I hope you put a more concrete story in the next part. I loved the multies and such. Hope your next part is a bit longer and has more meat to make a story thats memorable. Bit toooo abstract.
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