this is a verse I wrote against X-tortion...I just want some feed back to see if any seasoned people out here can tell me how it sounds. Iv already dropped it so I wont be able to change so its cool.

I'll leave u broke if sex sell...X..u best bail....
u only XL...a size too small...even the best fail...
u calling for battles...it drops like nextel...
u x-man...battling the man of steel...so get real...
ur best deal...is not droping at all...
theres too much blood on the walls for voters to consentrate on u dawg...
and if I dont use personals...that means that god is merciful...
punchlines that dont ryme'll get ur spine fliped vertical....
to be real...are u sure wanna except?...
hasn't ur rep taken enough punishment yet?....
who the fuck am I battling? u aint one of the best....
u unknown to this text...u just one of the rest....


http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2736462
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2736464

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this aint a diss...its just me trying to get some feedback becouse I think it was a weak verse for a battle but decent as a regular audio verse.

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well, at first, it seems as though you're focusing harder on rhyming rather than the battle itself with the.....sex sell, best bail, best fail tip. i liked the simple wordplay with "u calling for battles...it drops like nextel...". this was an overall basic battle verse. however it was bad or terrible. nothing stood out to me, but i'm hard to impress, most vets are.

6/10 good luck.

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good flow and good structure i like it

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Don't play wit me or this will happen to you

uh.....
ok whatever this shit is...
your shit seems like your trying to hard....
just flow it off man. work on your punches man!.

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