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08-26-05, 02:59 PM | #1 | |||||
Light Weight
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From His Point of View
IP: C294 D0F2
There’s only so many sorries a mind can take
before a person falls down, stumbles and breaks. It isn’t worth all the pain I’ve had, all the things I’ve went through just to get a piece that’s mad. Can’t understand the other side, just wanting to get on a good tide. Wonder at night is this really worth it, then in the day I confirm it. Still the things I put up with are insane, slanders and her wanting me to change. Little by little, I succumb to the wishes, little by little I stop throwing switches. Stuck in love, but can’t find a way out, this is my story of how one man can’t shout. Slowly falling and increasing in speed, never going to tell you the things I need. Physically enjoyable but mentally unstable, I tell myself I’m willing and capable, but some days like today its just too much for me to handle.
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Sig Provided by: Christianite 3 nails + 1 cross = 4given No matter how good you are there's always someone better. I'm not the status quo stereotype you want me to be. |
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08-26-05, 04:11 PM | #2 | |||||
A Life Of Chryme
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IP: 0825 899A
wow, really emotional......felt this....ur vocab needs ta up...and ur structure.....an easy way out to make ur structure look iight is just center it.....lol and this had good concept 7.5/10...not bad......holla at my o/ms in tha sig
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A LIFE OF CHRYME |
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08-26-05, 04:20 PM | #3 | |||||
Light Weight
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IP: 59A2 9AA1
thanks man, uppin this
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Sig Provided by: Christianite 3 nails + 1 cross = 4given No matter how good you are there's always someone better. I'm not the status quo stereotype you want me to be. |
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08-28-05, 10:24 PM | #5 | |||||
Light Weight
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IP: 0DB3 4A20
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2402210 my link, and UpPiN
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Sig Provided by: Christianite 3 nails + 1 cross = 4given No matter how good you are there's always someone better. I'm not the status quo stereotype you want me to be. |
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08-28-05, 11:34 PM | #6 | ||||
Witness, 4 God, 4-Ever
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IP: C81F 1BBC
this was good, but purely fiction, lol, emotion was good, flow was very good, structure is getting better, keep it up
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i come from a time when you earned respect, for your rhyme and the way you made words connect, not the money that you made or the girls you sexed, a concept you obviously haven't heard of yet Mars Ill
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