Dear Mr. President,

To the commander in chief, you’ve got such a passion for things
But the passionate clings to misconceptions crafted beneath
Lies man handle your speech, look at the damage you bring
Death canvasses teens, tears in heaven, parents candles convene
Rainy days with broken umbrellas, slugs open up fella’s
Innocent tortured stories they tell us, the glory is yellow
Because shorties undeveloped, the morning is hella
Hot…no sleep, cold sweat shop…the sun swelters
And you stand there and smirk, without a care for their births
I’m embarrassed you jerk, damn it, where was your word?
I don’t care where you work, I just care if you work!
America’s last? Sure, since your parents come first
So I say, Mr. President, your lack of precedence
Homeland questions is, amounting but stays directionless
9/11 sectioned it, but other problems still prevalent
Iraqis question this, American’s still question it
Welfare and social security amuck, so I say what the fuck
Cheney’s corrupt, peep the Halliburton correlation you schmuck
Only done coke once? Your ape face says your still faded as fuck
Running shoes better start lacing them up, I’m chasing this duck
Not a new thing, dictate like the American Sadaam Hussein
Black gold fool’s cane, align the oil trade grouping
A powerful pool game, determines who ‘moves things’
At what price though? Got me questioning who’s sane

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=218368
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2606873

DAMN at the rhyming concept u defintly a good lyricist
but u need a lil more experience u want feed here it is
nuthin bout it is fictional but try ta be more original
this was pacs idea, try ta be a lil more of a leada
but oh well what the hell u dope at this i can tell
this aint really fake or pretend id give this a 8/10
use this advice i gave ya and keep it up playa

lol yea that right i rapped out ur feed .....but im DEFITNLY feeling this i think this the best o.m i read i aint even bullshittin u..everybody else on here either fronts, is really wack wit lyrics, or raps bout materlistic thangs along wit killing muthafuckas wit there 4-5's lol, they dont ever take time ta keep it real...but i defitnly can tell u comin wit a strong message i love that..the only drawback is that it kinda was based off of pacs "dear mr president" song off of the Still I Rise album pac and the outlawz put out in 99...other than that i can tell that u defitnly put ur soul inta this...keep comin strong ma..always release ur true opinions in every audio, text, and poem that u do and u'll get major respect..muthafuckas really should quit sleepin on shit these dayz especially o.ms...o.ms CAN be dope if the real dope emcees on here take time ta do o.ms and leave feed on each others shit and stop biting shit and the open mic forum could be stronger than ever but werd keep this shit up...yo holla at me on aim if u ever wanna chat or sumthin "mc slayor"...holla anyways im out pc

wow dat was A LOT too read lol........but fo real thanx fo da advice Alpha I really appreciate it....yea dats where i got da idea...sorry lol but im a HUGE tupac fan n i figured i'd make my own piece bout it.........but really once again thanx Alpha...People DONT SLEEP ON DIS PLZ...............oh btw will RTF Alpha......1

no feed dont diss my crew ever again or i will rip u with every audio member of my crew ya DIG??

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nice way with words u got here fosho.. concept dealt with in detail.. and a kind of poetic touch to the flow/rythm..
good vocabs... word3d well


yeah good drop

pz

lol NON-FIXION................................hahahahahaha hahaha.....ok now dat i got it out.........lol thanx fo da feed Vortex....uppin

Marry Me??

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hell no why would she want u?? its me shes marrying maybe me and her can have a lil c

Lmfao that was dope.

But seriously, Lil C is fucking sexy and such.

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lol sorry Fuck im all Alpha's lol awe thanx tho Fuck.......lol newayz peeps....uppin dis

HAHA see she's in love with me

^^^^^man get on msn u dumbass

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Nice, i loved the words in this. The flow was nice and like i said b4 vocab was great. The topic was different than alot of otha om's ive read which is good. And ive heard 2pac's version b4 so it was nice to see a person tryin to come up with their own. My favorite line was definitely "I don’t care where you work, I just care if you work!". Theres so much truth to that line, u kno. But anways i'd give this piece an 8.5/10. Nice work, please return the favor on my om called Runnin'. Peace.