With grace she moves silently…a ghost amongst her jungle
Adrenalin is what drives her now, as it pumps it’s drug through her veins
A fresh wound sheds blood from her neck..she shakes it off is disgust
Her immense muscular body moves almost delicately through endless obsticles
She stands proud as the blood begins to stain her golden coat..but she does not collapse
He has wounded her..but she will not give up..for she was raised a fighter..
She pauses by a river to inspect the damge…peering into the mirrored water
She turns the body of liquid crimson, now tears she was fighting unite with the blood
Now powerless to overcome inevitability, she knows she is going to lose
She turns away from her reflection, “pathetic” she thinks as she struggles forward
Betrayed by her soulmate, he has stripped her from the precious gift of life
By tearing at her flesh he has fatally wounded her in body and spirit
She lays down beside an acacia, it towers about her and she draws strength from its power
Through a break in her surroundings she sees the sun rising behind a massive oak tree
She pauses to watch…as it’s beams crystalise her tears she lowers her head into her paws
Slowly she closes her eyes…the sun warming her weakened body…with her last breath..

She whispers goodbye…

very touchn body....i mean poem.....lol...................................... .......1ne

Shiznit's Thoughts:

Very creative piece.

The idea surrounded with such great imagery often reflects the true agenda hidden in every words.

There's a tendency of 2 mammals fighting, when you think of it literally, but the main idea executed had the power to overcome something metaphorically.

Brilliant contruction of terminology. As you read from the beginning to the end, it was gruesome and yet felt like a part of it.

Seems to me like the image of two persons being torn apart by a massive threat in life or for some reason a big fat elephant getting in their way.

Very nice intelligent poem. I liked the title too. Props.

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<br><br><center>- Shiznit -
- Tampons are still expensive -
- That's a Fact - </center>

One of your best pieces I've read.

Not to say that your other pieces weren't up to par, it's just that this topic was nice and the piece was on point to match.

"She turns the body of liquid crimson, now tears she was fighting unite with the blood"- this line stands out, unity of tears and blood what a way to look at it.

Lioness vs Lion... Woman vs. Man... interesting concept

keep at it.

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"life is a game, you have to choose a side to play
if i gotta pick a position, i'mma pick missionary."

I should know better that if I ever want to feel happy that the poetry section of RB.com is the LAST place I should go to. And this poem proves it. Cause it made me feel sad.

And that in itself certainly says something. Because I normally, while I can recognize and take note of the emotions in poetry, I can't feel the emotions. Their more like random data and facts thrown in with words. But there are a few occasions, such as this one right here, where I can actually feel the emotions in a poem.

And whether it's the intended emotion or not, it made me feel something. Even if all it did was make me feel sad, because I felt for that lioness. And I didn't want her to die. In just two hundred and twenty three words (Yes, I counted), I came to know that lioness. Came to feel for that lioness. And had to say goodbye to that lioness.

~Shalom~

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Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

hey i liked this piece and agree with Jes it is one of your better ones, the poem itself was short but it got strong emotion acoss fast, and i found myself wishing that this lioness that is just made up wouldnt come to her end. Keep posting girl you've got talent

~Tera~
DONT HATE

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I didn't take this as mammal vs mammal or even woman vs man but more humans vs. life and the will of one to go on despite fighting a losing struggle the imagery painted beautiful pictures but the deeper meaning pushed it to the background providing a mixture of the two...........overall i like this piece despite the sad ending but it is realistic seeing how we all die (or lose eventually)

Well, well, well...er...oh yeah, she comes out wth another piece ridden with imagery and indepth emotoins. Going hand in hand so well...

I got a basic meaning out of this. A woman who loved her husband/partner for so long. And felt he loved her just as much. Putting soul mate in there confirmed that for me. It was very deep love for her.

But he betrayed her by having an affair (or along those lines). And now she feels hurt, like she's leaking her soul. she's shedding tears, and as she looks in the mirror, she gets that emotions of disgust. Disgust in herself for not being good enough for him (you know what i mean, sorry, it's the psychologist in me), but also a digust that she's let him get to her. She's crying for his mistake. But then i couldn't see any real thing she could've actually died from. Nothing too apparent.

So instead i got an even more basic meaning. Using the same basis as what i said above. Of him hitting her (for the first time? Maybe it's happened before). Possibly after he's done something bad (like an affair maybe? Or killed someone, and she's gonna tell or something...i dunno). And she dies from the wounds.

I like the lioness metaphor. As it shows her as a woman with pride and strength. It brings soe much more details to her character.

Something along those lines.

Nice read indeed.

..resp...

I love reading the different meanings you all find
in my poetry...
Thanks for replying

well guh...you still doin ya thing....i do have some opinions bout somma tha lines in ya poem...but imma keep em to maself...just know that somma it was sketchy and almost eluded a nig from the whole concept of ya poem....but...i like the idea of tha jungle thing...that was nice

igido

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RN Vs RB WAR!!....yr 2000...vet~~YEA I SAID VET!! WHAT YOU WANT ME TO PROVE IT? STEP THEN YOU FUCKING HOMO'S

lol...word 2 da hizzie 4 shzzie

only head butts and noogies 2 ya

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