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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
03-13-05, 12:41 PM
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#1
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C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
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Clear Emotions Vs. Wet Willy
IP: CD74 90E9
This Is The First Round So Records Will Not Be at stake.
But if you no show you will have your post cut in half. You Must Vote in 2 other battles after you post yours or you will be DQ’d and will have your post cut in half. Check In’s Due Before Tuesday March 15 Verses Due Before Thursday March 17 First to 3 Votes Win’s.. 2-0 = KO Remember, everything is in Pacific Time. If you do not know what that is then too bad. Topic:Poverty
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www.FG-Servers.com    |
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03-13-05, 01:48 PM
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#2
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New to RV
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IP: 37E6 D115
I actually made it in to the tourney? lol tite.. but i doubt i'd win.. g'd luck..
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03-13-05, 02:09 PM
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#3
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.::Outside The Circle::.
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IP: E1D7 D0FC
yeah good luck..check it check it...
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03-13-05, 02:21 PM
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#4
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.::Outside The Circle::.
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IP: E1D7 D0FC
wait.. wtf how many lines is this????
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03-13-05, 02:25 PM
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#5
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C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
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IP: 37E6 D115
oh shyt i forgot..hahaha 30 lines max
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www.FG-Servers.com |
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03-13-05, 11:03 PM
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#6
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New to RV
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IP: 37E6 D115
lol, I was thinking like so we write as many lines as we want?
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03-14-05, 09:07 PM
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#7
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.::Outside The Circle::.
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IP: E1D7 D0FC
It was back in the 80's, yes i was quite a dazzling young man.. Cutting classes... out smoking a pack, i just didnt understand.. This was important, Education was my only real key to success.. some reason it seemed i had no talents or goals, i just hadn't been blessed.. So i went on thru my teenage years thinking looks would replace knowledge.. As i watched all my friends set there goals, and start picking out there college.. NOT ME, i was too cool.. All i had to do was just find that right girl.. i could imagine her.. with the softest lips.. she would just make my world.. I traveled from bar to bar.. looking for her for just a few years... But my drinking became a habit.. the liquor just seemed to disguise my tears.. I became a closet alcholic, nobody really needed to know of my problem I thought this doesnt control me, there my faults i think i can solve them.. My money slowly went down the drain, i lived on the streets with nothin to eat.. No shoe's or socks, its been 10 years since i've seen the true color of my feet.. I'm thirty five now.. and with no education i have yet to work a day in my life.. Living in Strife.. My Dreams are crushed, i can no longer search for my wife.. Mind is a Blurr,I take this jagged metal,and puncture myself, Im pleading for help... This Alcohol Wont Cover up the red stains, yes its true im killing myself.. Its sad, I've lived Thirty Five years of my life.. just hiding in shame.. with my last minutes of life... i will die without one penny to my name.. all because of poverty....
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03-14-05, 09:08 PM
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#8
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.::Outside The Circle::.
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IP: E1D7 D0FC
meh i had to drop early.. because of some school project.. this was a quick 10 minute key..
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03-14-05, 11:53 PM
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#9
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New to RV
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IP: 957B 0092
Topic: Poverty
My life completely miserable, life full of depression… No such thing as succession, why my life, full of aggression… I own two things, my soul, and my lyrics to show expression.. I couldn’t even afford school which gives free English lessons.. It’s sad, unlike many, “Family“ to me there’s no definition.. My only family, was food, my gun, and with extra ammunition.. Listen, my life was different, just look at where I’m positioned.. Because of poverty, I couldn’t reach my dream, a rap musician.. I only had one proposition, it was starve, or a street pharmacist.. Where I got jumped twenty times, and took the hardest hits.. I’ve went through the hardest shit, my friends killed beside me.. Blood shedding down their chest, telling moms their kids dying.. I call 9-1-1 for help, but only came after a couple hours.. And only a couple minutes, here comes more bullet showers.. Everyday my biggest worry was to survive through one night.. Where every single day, on my front yard there’s a gun fight.. All I say is fuck life, where there’s no such thing as beautiful.. Where death’s usual, it’s a ritual to see ur best friends in funerals.. My life isn’t the best, but I no it ain’t the worst, so honestly. Im lucky to live my life unlike this kid “Bob” livin life in poverty.. Blah, Just keyed it up, I only wrote a few cuz I saw this kid write a few lines, G’d luck, N plz vote.. Oh yeah, I’ll vote in 2 battles wen there are two other battles lol!! |
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03-15-05, 12:36 AM
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#10
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Yea.. Im Still Dope ! !
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IP: 0825 899A
Wet Willy:
Ok your verse was alright. I think you should have kept the bars more even, but the flow in a couple stretched bars made it sound good but in other places, it wasnt as consistent. Imagery was pretty good. In a couple places it was perfect. Good wordplay here and there. Vocab could be elevated i didnt see much in that category that intrigued me. Fave Bars: My money slowly went down the drain, i lived on the streets with nothin to eat.. No shoe's or socks, its been 10 years since i've seen the true color of my feet.. Mind is a Blurr,I take this jagged metal,and puncture myself, Im pleading for help... This Alcohol Wont Cover up the red stains, yes its true im killing myself.. Overall : 7.8/10 Clear Emotions: All i can say is wow. Most people would see some guy with 20 posts and say what a noob and he has no skills but for that piece being so short it was good. The vocab was definately existent, you kept on track with that through-out the whole verse. Wordplay was pretty good, and you definately took the structure area of this battle. Imagery wasnt too good because there wasnt much of it, im a hypocrite saying this but elevate your imagery. The closer was bad, it kinda confused me until i read it again, and it was stretched it doesnt look like it, but when you read it you know what i mean. Should have got ride of life in the last bar. Fave Bars: My life completely miserable, life full of depression… No such thing as succession, why my life, full of aggression… I own two things, my soul, and my lyrics to show expression.. I couldn’t even afford school which gives free English lessons.. Those opening bars really stood out. Overall: 8.3/10 Gotta give this to Clear Emotions, he suprised me with the verse definately looking forward to see more of your topical skills. Vote: Clear Emotions
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¿Guess Who?  |
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03-15-05, 12:48 AM
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#11
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C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
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IP: 957B 0092
Please Everyone Vote On Two Other Battles And Post Your Links Here, Or You will not continue onto the next round, I don't care if you won, you loose if you don't continue onto the next round and the other person will that you lost to. Thank you very much. Wun..
-I. Mind
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www.FG-Servers.com |
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03-15-05, 10:09 AM
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#12
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~Real Rookie Of The Year~
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IP: 3240 794D
IIght let Tony Green break it down
Wet Willy you came on weak but picked it up through out the verse, Structure was cool and so was the vocab you had some good multies also. But I think you need to elevate alot. Fav line was about the liquor disguising your tears that was hot! Clear Emotions that first line you said Tony Green was just like Whoa! were did that come from I didn't expect you to come on firing like that it was mad nasty. You kept it up through out the entire battle you wasn't playin no games structure was iight multies was great vocab was great so was the flow it was deep all this shit. Yall both did good but my vote goes for....... v/Clear Emotions |
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03-15-05, 10:56 AM
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#13
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.::Outside The Circle::.
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IP: E1D7 D0FC
yeah as i stated... i had to key it up quick.. my mom isnt giving me much time on the comp. i only had 10 minutes to write that.. good job Clear...
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03-15-05, 02:53 PM
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#14
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in your system
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
^ i dunno if i can still vote....but, my vote would go to wet willy.....i thought both verse were great, actually, both had good emotion, great imagery, some good stuff in this, thought clear had better wordplay and vocab, but willy, you imagery and emotion was a little more defined, and i felt i could relate to yours a little more because i've often felt that way, and have seen alot of poverty....but i think that clear's ending kinda ruined to flow and mood of the story, i didnt think it fit in all that well, and willy was more consistent...........so thats what i thought after reading both
v/willy
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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03-15-05, 05:37 PM
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#15
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C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
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IP: C348 5CFF
Yea i'll let it slide
I. Mind
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www.FG-Servers.com |
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