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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
02-13-06, 02:38 PM
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#1
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Odi et Amo
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HEAVYWEIGHT: Drama Queen (3-0) vs. sabre (3-1)
IP: 4557 2EBB
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Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
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02-14-06, 12:42 PM
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#2
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Odi et Amo
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IP: C9A2 1C80
Checkity Check Check
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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02-16-06, 06:42 PM
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#3
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tooth tiger
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
i've been busy all week, but i'll still drop tomorrow
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E-style
cause thats how e-style does it, we got power and skill you vultures don't realize you feeding off our fuckin' kill |
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02-17-06, 10:43 AM
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#4
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Odi et Amo
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IP: 6BF0 BC6B
I'll drop tomorrow (as in Saturday, using my extension credit)
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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02-18-06, 02:25 PM
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#5
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Odi et Amo
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IP: C9A2 1C80
Blood Bath of Baltimore
"Dirty children!!! Driven crazy!!!" Blood splatters on the Baltimore map Story of the filthy Fleming family in 1955. Allow me to bridge the gap Tick tock tick tock, oh sissie, can you hear? Let's play hide and seek My soul I have yet to find but I'm convinced you hid it inside your beak As you ate me at our birth...what was the matter? Were you scared? I guess mommy and daddy never told you about the womb we shared Well, we did but you refused to let me breath, you refused to let me live Can you hear me screaming when you sleep? I'll never forget nor forgive I’m here to bring torture to you but also to our parents. You did wrong All three of you wanted me to be gone, you ignored my birthday song "My child, what's wrong? You're soaking...did you have a nightmare?" "Sweetie, talk to mommy...you are acting so strange but why stare?" Then suddenly she screams: "He's here! He's haunting my dreams!!!" After she’d spoken, the sun gleamed by his presence or so it seems It was as if his energy settled inside her being and took over for good At that point I could not believe what I was seeing, I never understood How the moment of their birth occurred but revenge he now looked for Oh dear God, how can I stop the madness and make it all like before? Look at my baby, her hands trembling, eyes rolling, her body shaking As I close my lids, tears escape when all of a sudden…glass breaking “My baby….noooooo....WHY? Why did you take her? You monster!” I’m sorry mother...but she only got what she deserves as will you… The next day, the Baltimore newspaper read: “Family Trauma!” “A 5 year old child found dead on the sidewalk. Parents arrested!” There’s a new scandal in town, enough material to talk about for days Gossip went around as these parents rotted in jail in a lunatic craze That shrieking voice put on repeat inside their minds, haunting them Driven completely insane because nothing rewinds … taunting them Two weeks later, the Baltimore newspaper says: “Jail House Hurting” “Parents accused of murdering their child committed a double suicide!” This is for the selfish for not letting someone be who they want to be Whoever commits this sin, the last one they will ever see is…me… Topic: Notes From The Underground / Scarlet Tale
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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02-18-06, 07:36 PM
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#6
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tooth tiger
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
its not long, but think about it.
The Scarlet Tale a story of conflict, intently defined by colors the voice of a nation, decided by mutters the sky a gray navy, with a soft glow of torches the ground shaking slighty by a slow moving forest sun piercing storm clouds, devouring the haven black swarms the white flag like thousands of ravens what hope had provided, now lost in the dark and all the blood rushes from your future purple heart then it finally hits, a downpour of bullets painful satisfaction for those trying to savor the moment and scarlet flows....for a second, feels so vivid but screams fill your ears when there's no reason to listen its a tale of deception; fighting for greed there's no greater pain when you're dying to bleed so much for life, when we're rushing to death see, colors are obsolete when you're covered in red and thats the point and truth, but the arrows still fly and its the same reason why i write on rainbows in the sky but the scarlet tale continues, more pages stain the floor there's no reason to fight a battle, when you're already in a war ... the wishing well's been filled with poison ____________________________
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E-style
cause thats how e-style does it, we got power and skill you vultures don't realize you feeding off our fuckin' kill Last edited by Drakel : 02-18-06 at 07:45 PM. |
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02-19-06, 11:07 AM
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#7
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The Epitome Of Greatness
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IP: 525D FF37
DQ:
To be honest i wasnt feeling your verse. It was boring. The plot wasnt there and it just lingered on. More rambling than anything. The emotion was there but that was it. I dont really go on vocab for a topical but you did have decent vocab but your verse was absent from imagery. There were no vivid pictures there. This was definately not one of your best pieces. You could have wrote this a bit better. Overall: 5.5/10 Sabre: Despite the fact that the verse was short, it was also well written. The imagery was good as was the emotion. Most of all though your imagery stood out and ive been saying that for weeks. you probably have some of the best imagery ive seen from a topical writer. It all came together at the last few lines and it made your piece solid. Definately would have been better if it was longer but you squeaked this one out. Overall: 6.5/10 Vote: Sabre
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RV's Only 3 Time Topical Tourney Champion  |
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02-20-06, 01:49 PM
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#8
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Odi et Amo
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IP: 38A7 1755
Sabre wins and is HeavyWeight Champ
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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