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07-16-04, 02:53 PM | #16 | ||||||
Umm...Yeah
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IP: 5043 32F4
thanks.....I appreciate all the feedback ya'll posted much love.....
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07-18-04, 11:46 AM | #17 | |||||
<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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IP: 4289 77F4
this is a good piece, you did have a lot of emotion, and it told a story as well, the words were like images, nice shit man, good job.. and keep it up
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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
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07-19-04, 04:50 PM | #18 | ||||||
Umm...Yeah
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IP: 5043 32F4
thanks for the positive feedback much appreciation...................................
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07-19-04, 09:16 PM | #19 | ||||
Banned: Biting
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IP: 0D28 B715
ya most def homz,ya painted a picture with ya words,i also liked how ya dint use a crappy vocab,tight ,mad props keep writin from the heart....im reppin canada,nice ta see ya mention that...........
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07-20-04, 12:42 AM | #20 | ||||||
New to RB
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IP: 3EE1 FC25
Hah, I guess it's because I'm white and I live in a predominately white area that I don't really feel it. I thought it could've been a lot better. The rhymes and lines seemed kinda childish.
"Mr. Mandela, Ms. Parks both overcame the hate in they lives~ pain, anger and other things pile up in my brain's archives~" I saw what you were going for here, but it still seemed like a sacrificial rhyme. Write some more, elevate some, and I think you'll be good.
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I'll wait for you there where the sun doesn't shine Wait for you there where the shadows run from themselves |
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07-20-04, 12:57 AM | #21 | ||||||
Umm...Yeah
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IP: 5043 32F4
sorry if I offended you I was basing it off the past but I wasn't
trying to hate or anything ya know>>?
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07-20-04, 01:17 AM | #22 | ||||||
New to RB
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IP: 3EE1 FC25
Nah, you didn't offend me. It takes a lot to offend me. :P
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I'll wait for you there where the sun doesn't shine Wait for you there where the shadows run from themselves |
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07-21-04, 01:44 PM | #23 | ||||||
Umm...Yeah
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IP: 5043 32F4
uppin for my work to be seen.............................................. ..........
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07-21-04, 04:31 PM | #24 | |||
1926
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IP: A001 97D8
Wow Mayn...
Thats One That Touches The Heart... Great Concept, Content... Sounded ALITTLE To Much Like A Rhym... Thats My Only Critisism... But Thats A Strech, Cuz It Really Was Just About Perfect... Real Nice Drop, 9/10 (Just Cuz I Dont Give 10's)... ~One~ |
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07-23-04, 02:51 PM | #25 | ||||||
Umm...Yeah
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IP: 5043 32F4
fuckin' smile sleepers^^^^^I could become poet of july
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07-24-04, 10:27 PM | #26 | ||||||
Umm...Yeah
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IP: 5043 32F4
uppin sleepers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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07-25-04, 02:40 AM | #27 | |||||
The Ups and Downs of Life
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IP: D666 F54C
I thought I responded to this a while ago-- either way, this was a decent drop you used pretty good imagery here.
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07-26-04, 07:27 PM | #28 | ||||||
Umm...Yeah
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IP: 5043 32F4
uppin 4 feedback.......................................... ...................
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07-29-04, 03:26 AM | #29 | |||||
COLD
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IP: 5671 DBDD
one i aint know you was a bitch.......well i knew you was a bitch but not a female your poem is ok for a sucka .the only black kid in a all white school?!!!they aint suppose to be disrespecting you they suppose to be scared to death of you.damn you softer then i thought
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07-29-04, 12:11 PM | #30 | ||||||
Umm...Yeah
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IP: DFD5 B866
^what are you a herb??????????????????????????^ the concept was about a african teenage girl in a all-white community fuck outta here if you don't understand shit kid. F.Y.I.: I'm not a girl dumbass.
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