Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
07-11-04, 09:48 PM | #1 | |||||
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`~**My Piano**~` :Fiya
IP: 7BE2 A0A1
<*~My Piano~*> finger-tips tappin’ piano keys, playing a simple symphony it’s my speech without words somehow I know you hear me I C-major chords i would relate to A-minor note and song metronome tick fa my time signature but time takes too long see it’s one thing to have visions to fortell one’s tragedy it;s another to be close to the person like ebony and ivory how should I enjoy tellin’ Nia “ya friend will be murdered”?!! i couldn’t given the fact: words don’t talk, i’m likely 2 hurt her Chopin’s Etude n Mozart Salute took my eyes from the window... call me crazy but this my forte stepped up in full crescendo!! this is Beethoven’s challenge, he rollin’ twice in his grave death is my sight of habit, deaf ears but i’m still tryna save! dear mama how could a gift so good make my mind bleed? Lord God if this is my call, then this ya daughter in need... in the blink of an eye the last notes makes the string pop it’s not a piano, it’s a life-line, sometimes i want it to STOP... or take it easy on me__ ~Based on a true story~ *This my dedication to Nia’s friend, T. and my late Grandpa, A. You two please R.I.P. ... This whole poem is an extended-metaphor the piano being both an instrument and my mind/soul.. If you got comments, then drop a note please... Thanx fa hearin’ me... ~Special thanx to Mixtape, Triple N, and my guy<-the first to know the real ‘me’ and supportin’ me, thanx y’all....
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07-11-04, 09:51 PM | #2 | ||||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: 2E43 6BFE
nice shit ma this is ya boy trase that's rite baby wink wink lol that was some good shit nice to read i was feelin it pc ma
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07-11-04, 09:57 PM | #3 | |||||
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IP: 4289 77F4
now, y'all know i ain't a poet! but uhmm thanx Trase...
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07-11-04, 10:08 PM | #4 | ||||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: 2E43 6BFE
your welcome but it's legacy now and u did good at poetry betta than 80% of these other cats big up's ma pc
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07-11-04, 10:22 PM | #5 | |||||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: EC0B 84C7
that poem really touch me, it's really really nice way to go girl
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07-12-04, 03:14 PM | #6 | |||||
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IP: 3240 794D
thanx, FlipSix...
~wun~
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07-12-04, 09:07 PM | #7 | ||||||
Umm...Yeah
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IP: 5043 32F4
that was a beautiful piece very touching and I felt it....................
check out my poetic scripture links in my siggy...
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07-16-04, 02:05 AM | #8 | |||||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: EC0B 84C7
That Is A Good Poem Gurl Keep On Writing The Things You Do Cause You Got Talent
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07-16-04, 06:20 AM | #9 | ||||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: EC0B 84C7
i was really feeling that poem
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07-21-04, 04:48 PM | #10 | |||||
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IP: 4289 77F4
still uppin' fa feedback ppl..!
just fiya. ~wun~
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07-21-04, 05:09 PM | #11 | |||||
.:So~So~Good:.
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IP: 0A1C 8D6B
That was nice Missfiya.I wish I was poetic & could write some nice poetry like that.But poetry just don't seem to be in my bones.....but that was nice gurl,keep it coming.
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<marquee behavior="alternate"> ::~::HaRdWooDcLaSs-SiCkZ::~:: </marquee><marquee direction="right"> 1st LaDy </marquee>
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07-21-04, 05:23 PM | #12 | |||||
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IP: 4289 77F4
i don't think that was poetry, it was more like a true story.. but thank you very much, ~the Star~ ur a very good femcee, i ain't afraid to admit that.. thanx fa the feedback.
Mo' Feedback ppls.. ~wun~
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07-21-04, 08:14 PM | #13 | |||||||
Vendetta the K.O. King
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IP: 78D8 9CA9
I agree... Felt more like a quick snapshot of your life, and you wrote it out in rhyme. Only thing I didnt like was the first "bar" should have ben "hearin' me" instead of hear me. LOL. Sorry - dont mean to be anal, but just flowed better in my mind. Gave a good pic of what you were talking about though - this was nice. I'm mos def stoppin in here more often - ya'll got some talent in the poetry section. Even if it's not poetry but written thought.
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07-22-04, 03:33 PM | #14 | |||||
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IP: 4289 77F4
thanx Phenom-in-All, <hope i spelled that right, i notice that too with the first bar but i didn't want it to flow, i wanted the readers to feel like it was occurrin' in the present but not still happenin' so i left it as "hear me" but i know whut you meant..
thanx, y'all make me feel like writin' sumthin' else.. i wasn't gonna post this at first, thanx ppl! Mo' Feedback, I like this! ~wun~
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07-22-04, 06:09 PM | #15 | ||||
yawn
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IP: 06D4 9403
Twas really nice. A large metaphor nicley played out. Very emotional and you kept the rhyming good. Props to your piece and sorry for the losses.
Return the favor? http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=135850
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