Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
03-10-06, 04:40 AM | #16 | |||||
A Reflection Of The Past
|
IP: 2029 97B3
word this isnt my best work and i honestly thank all of you for the honest feedback
__________________
Crhyme Sindicate
|
|||||
03-10-06, 12:43 PM | #17 | |||
1926
|
IP: 0825 899A
Wasn't really feeling it man. The thing about the recent stuff I've read from you that differs from what I'm accustomed to reading from you is that it doesn't feel like you're hearts in it. When I read this, I see a strive to get back on top and also achieved a new level of progression in poetry by installing a constant steady rhyme scheme. I mean, I really have absolutely no clue if that is truely the case but when I read it, the content just doesn't really feel authentic to me. It also feels very forced, when I read this, very few sections of the drop flooow off my tounge or really come out sounding all that fluent in my head. The content in this also was kind of generic, also lacking a bit of direction aswell. I mean, last time I read a piece from you I was reading the "Drunk Driving" piece that you did, which I loooooooooooved... The piece has soooo much heart, beautiful metaphors and a nice flowing rhyme scheme. I dunno, I think the route of error lately is abiding be a rhyme scheme to much. You trying to keep everything so neet and properly aligned with everything as that your content is really suffering man. But stay up, you always come back so I'll be waiting for that piece that just blows me away like I know you can.
|
|||
03-11-06, 10:21 AM | #18 | |||
|
IP: 01CE 3161
Valor, are you Kaotic.Theory from RB? If not, then you just bit this from him.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...=Battered+Youth EDIT: I think you may be Kaotic. Excuse my rudeness if you are him.
__________________
Mankind is just a fable. Last edited by Suspicious : 03-11-06 at 10:26 AM. |
|||
03-12-06, 08:50 PM | #19 | |||||
A Reflection Of The Past
|
IP: 9AF7 D7EC
yessir.....i am
__________________
Crhyme Sindicate
|
|||||
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Display Modes | |
|
|