YO, i gotta give you mad props for this piece, im feelin your use of imagery, the feeling in this piece was definetly shown, hot drop, keep uppin

Hey Gyyyrl.
This piece was madd nyce. Really felt the emotion just floatin up off the page as i was reading it. I especially was feelin the last couple'alines:

>"so this is my letter to you dad I'm fleeting
and still I stand, it takes a boy to be a daddy
and a father to be a man.... I Hate You"

Really summed up the message of the whole piece. Very dramatic and powerful. Feelin this. Keep that shit up girl.
Peace n propz.

yo that was some nice rythme i think that you should join my crew and you can be the poetry person

Nicely done...

...really flowed effortlessly at times...emotions just came through strong and true...

...good imagery too, you used that fairly well...well written for sure...

i could give critique...but aint in the mood for it..

...resp...

thanx it's appreciated
^^^^^

I feel this one a lot. I dunno if you read the piece I did on my dad, but this was nice. I felt the emotion when I read it. You can read the time you spent on it.


Stay Up

<Apologizing constantly I flinched
with distant hugs---
just prayed that you wouldn't kill me
all I wanted was your love----> BEST LINES!
this was deep...keep it up..1!

*~Blushing~*
aww thanx ya'll....

do you want to join?

no thnx.... I'm already in a crew for the moment...thanx anyway tho it's much appreciated.

i was feeling it i went through da same shit ,but i managed to get older an kick his ass,(father)butas u get older if u still hang on to da shit u went thru it could keep fucking wit u mentaly learn to let go an forgive an u will see just how far ya talent will take u peace.
p.s. usually im not dis nice but i was feeling ya poem