excuse me, im licking the screen

on my roller coaster pic

ill be with you momentarily

lookin forward too but theres too much chattin less postin

i will post tonight if you are ready Kapone

okay well i am posting

this is what i came up with....i compared it more with love and friendship then the actually growth but i wrote about the tree and child growing up together so here i go.........


The Child planted outside her window
it started to rise it started to grow
the roots filled with that little girls love
she created life with the touch of her glove
it began to sprout outside of the ground
it wasnt the creation that made her proud
it was a new friend that she had found
at night she would climb down it's arms of strength
and watch the stars with her eyes she brang
it sang music to her as she slept with the wind
when she saw a red apple that it sent
she bit the gift with a lustful crunch
how she loved her apple tree oh so much
she was now a woman and visited often
all of the memories she hasnt forgotten
they grew old and grew together
but she will love her first love
the tree is forever
at her funeral the tree began to die
she was buried right beside it that's where she lies..

nice thought eviley you pulled through--NOT SO HARD HUH!!!hehe alright Kapone lets get your piece in so i can judge

-1-

__________________
SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)

you can't keep me waiting like this kapone lol......

IM SOOOO SORRY

I WAS RECORDING AND SHIT AND TRYING TO GET THE SHIT DONE WITH THIS CREW BATTLE AND TALK DOWN SOME PPL, PLUS RB HASENT LET ME ON ALL DAY

i will be posting in 5 minutes from this post

The Growth of an Apple Tree
By: Kaps

From seed to green

Growing into strength

stand tall, never leans

this is the growth of an apple tree




/Hundreds of years pass, and hes still alive/
/Even through the unfertile dirt, he manages to thrive/
/He produces the fuel for human life/
/He lives unpeacfully, with strife//
/Robbed of his integrity, he still stands tall/
/His apples get taken before they have a chance to fall//
/He drops the apples in the spring/
/In the fall he sheds his leaves/
/In summer little girls tie on a tire swing/
/But in winter he is forgotten by all living things//
/The squirells use him, The man robs from him/
/He keeps tellin himself, " This ain't livin"/
/But soon enough Spring and swings come again/
/Theyre wantin more youll never catch him restin//
/Teens have graffitied him up, his beauty cant remain/
/Because no one will let his prized apples stay and hang//
/You see, metaphoricaly you tought it was an apple tree/
/But think deeper into it, the apple tree is me//////

aight sorry this is fresh keed because i tryed to go
a different approach and i accidenly cut the the wrong
notepad window thats my moronic stupidity

"but think deeper into it, the apple tree is me"

whoa, wasn't expectin that. I was diggin the whole "check out tree man, he little girls swing on him, and he has graffiti all over him, cuz he's straight pimpin!" but then it got metphorical

eviley, your poem was cool, it had a lot of meaning but way less surprise and emotion than Kap's.
vote=kap
I think thats how it works.....

__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

lol, i dont know how this works

and i just thought of that

little girls swing from me... lmao

no what i meent behind the poem, the metaphor is

the unfertile dirt is the street, see what im sayin? and stayin dilagent and true to me even thru thick and thin

and the tire swing reference.. well cuz girls is always swingin from my branch-es

the apples robbed refrence means that my talent and skill is wasted on a message borad, and belive me, i can spitta audio, just lack the peace and quiet and brain frame to manage cool edit, so i play my whole ryhme scheem and structure for all to bite, cuz remembner, just cuz you dont say the same things, if you adapt some ones scheem its even werse than biting

any way, most of the metaphors can be played to you too

the grafitti is to represent uh... peer pressure if you will

closed till judging--1- n

__________________
SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)

Eviley:
You had a typical approach to this topic...Do i think it could have been more creative? Maybe but i feel that you blessed the piece with a sincere motive--Many things are held dearly to when growing up with something as simple as a tree---It is ironic that the tree passed when the lady died. I think that was the highlight of this particular piece---imagery of something beautiful and pure eventually wilting away...very deep in many aspects---Imagery could have been better along with some of the lines but overall pretty nice piece, im giving it a (6.1)

Kapone:

I think alot of your rhyme scheme was typical in this piece nothing that really gave it originality in the rhyme scheme side of things...I did enjoy the fact you used the seasonal effect to the tree/persons life and the events that followed within each season...i think the metaphor was weak---things shouldn't need to be explained so thoroughly to get the point across. i never would have thought it if i didnt read the last couple lines...Some nice imagery--some things were original but the first couple lines made hurt the feeling of the poem. middle was very nice-ending was lacking

im giving it a (6)

this was an extremely hard choice but Eviley will go to the next round--Only reason is because it had better structure and a clearer meaning --nice work from the both of you

-1-

__________________
SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)