nice, very nice...


Deacon - I'll probably complete my original one by end of Saturday (which i believe is deadline anyway). So don't judge the one i posted already. Cos i think i'm gonna post up the original one i was working on. This one is here just in case.

Just thought i'd tell ya..

Yep, finished it with a bit of time to spare...

So the piece i put up first has been taken down, and my original one put up. So take no notice of the first one.

ummm are you going to judge this

who? Moi? Why non! *sighs*...sorry..

But nah, i think you got to give him a bit of time. Can't expect him to get right into it. Leave it for a couple of days...

Alright im judging it tonight no worries Deacon is always on the ball...

-1--

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SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)

haha i know i was kidding.....

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judging it tonight...as in, yesterday night? heh. Im sure by "tonight" you really meant.."tomorrow night"..which is tonight..ummm yeah.

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lol
very confusing what you said Dagyrlremarqabl......
i had to read that shit twice.......

Aye.

YOu see, he was in a rush. So he used an abbreviation.

Tonight was actually like this. To was abbreviated from tomorrow. And night of course, meant night.

There's a revolution going on in the English language, Deacon being one of it's esteemed leaders, like..

Alright LOL i know. This week has been busy because i had some maddd work to do. heres the judging

-1-

varentao:

You know i really enjoyed this piece. It was very original and had some rather horrid/sadly true imagry. i have had dreams very similar to this piece or atleast parts of this piece. I think the scariest part about it is the transaction in the second stanza where beauty meets the beast. I wish i could go on about this piece but i must say im in a slight hurry... I think the piece represents much of humanity and the typical life style/thoughts most go through.
Im going to give this piece an 8.5 great imagry/great originality with the direction

Eviley:

Great start Eviley i must say your words were enlightening. The direction you took with this topic was really what i thought one would typically go with. i loved the way you expressed the leaving of the characters soul.

"at the light of christ and air
slowly feel life releaseing
and heartbeat ceaseing"

"i feel my soul release
and everyone around me is crying
i scream i am alive i'm not dieing"

I loved this verse the most....I think many that have past would like to let there loved ones know that there is a new life for them after death...The only real flaw i see in it (the poem)which may not be a flaw at all is the way the character dies. I understand that it is not unreasonable, people are shot and killed every day.I just feel it is the typical escape one uses for death when writing a poem. This was a great piece and i think you have shown your talent. im giving you an 8

Final:varentao wins great job to the both of you this talent shall be recognized...As for the other poems ill be back to get those finished sorry this week is busy..

__________________
SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)

*dissapointed*...

..oh well, it's all good. Well written eviley. What else can i say...but it was a close one...

Oh, the piece is about how one..ach! Forget it. I don't think it appropriate to explain this one. Get ya shovels out n all that...

..resp...

goodjob varentao in the next round
it was a pleasure competing against
you...hope you get far
PZ

ya'll are weak