How does one really define sadness..in a manner so truly sincere..?
By measure of all of one's the recently had-stress..or sobbing and shedding a tear?
One thing clear, it's a cycle, a rotary heart: where emotions switch off and take turn..
Like sun after any rain, joy after any pain is soon to make its return..
So we've learned.......

A weight on my heart, strategically placed, so it seems to have stopped it from beating..
With my core growing sore, too hurtful to ignore, sometimes its a struggle just breathing.
Such an overwhelming feeling, showing no signs of healing, seemingly an everlasting suffer..
So extremely detrimental, not just to my mental; everyday things increasingly get tougher.
I try to stay sleeping as late as I can, for then i'm unconscious to despair..
unaware, of your absence, still stuck in a dream..at least I can see your face there.
For when Im awake, every scene causes ache, and fore holds some long lost sentiment..
which reminds me of you, and the love i once knew, and erodes my heart like sediment.
But the nights are the worst, for there in the darkness, your missing is made the most evident..
I think of where you are, but more so where you aren't, and it only inclines my impediment.
and tears fall until ive unknowingly drifted to a state of solemn full slumber..
wet tissues in hand, and issues at grand, i awake to a heart even number.
And in the quiet of the eve, i silently grieve; fight to keep my deep cries under wraps..
But alone, and unknown, I dont quiet my hearts tone; unrestrained, I've even collapsed,
dropping everything, falling in the middle of the floor, to bawl like a child in a tantrum..
Letting all that I'm feeling release then and there; the screaming and sobbing, my anthem.
From a place deep inside, a million tears cried, all the heartache that I had concealed,
so abruptly revealed that a soundproof booth, sealed, could no sooner my deafening sobs shield.
Almost wishing you removed of my memory and heart, but i know soon enough i'd regret to..
But I cant help but think how easily i'd forget you, or unmiss you.. if i'd never met you........

One thing clear, it's a cycle, a rotary heart: where emotions switch off and take turn,
Like sun after any rain, joy after any pain is soon to make its return.
But its been raining a while now, and still my Sun isnt near,
Thus i fear, that my happiness will not reapper..and my symptoms are much more severe..
I suffer from something far more intense, which causes, inside me, this burning..
For something so vital has escaped my grasp, and indeed may not be returning..
.
.
.
The loss of a soul mate, a best friend, a lover..
A sadness with a cure i've yet to uncover.



©2003 DaGyrlRemarqabL
All rights reserved.


Ah..easily one of the least favorite pieces I've ever written..maybe because i was so extremely miserable when I wrote it. More for therapy than anything else....Thanks to anyone who took the time....

nice shit I liked ur flow

can u return the favour and vote on my battle, thanks

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=70110

~Breakdown Of Content..Make Me A Mod Comittee~


"I Think Its A Ghost..Cant Believe It"

How does one really define sadness..in a manner so truly sincere..?By measure of all of one's the recently had-stress..or sobbing and shedding a tear?One thing clear, it's a cycle, a rotary heart: where emotions switch off and take turn..Like sun after any rain, joy after any pain is soon to make its return.. So we've learned.......

~Enticing..Not Riding Either...Reader Friendly..Real As Well~

But the nights are the worst, for there in the darkness, your missing is made the most evident..I think of where you are, but more so where you aren't, and it only inclines my impediment.

~This Is Too True...But The Streets Not One Way And
You Need To Watch Cars That Tend To Follow~

~so abruptly revealed that a soundproof booth, sealed, could no sooner my deafening sobs shield~

Im Honest..It Dosent Seem Like It Fits With The Line Prior
To It But Im not Hearing This Either..Non The Less Its All Good

Well Everyone Deserseves Someone And Your Someone
Will Arrive In Due Time On A Personal Note...Least Expected

As For The...Content Of This Piece the Flow Was..
Remarkable..Lack Of Other Words....On Point
Mature Respectable...Outpouring Emotionally

Well Done Hands Down. Make Me A Mod Fpr
Poetic Scriptures..Not Many Reply To Mostly
Everything With An Open Minded Perspective
On Life As We Attempt To Live It....

Possible Collaboration? ~Conflo1801~

What favor?
You did me a favor?? really?! what is it?
Its not that reply, thats for damn sure.

Thanks for your thoughts content.

Gyrl, It's like I want to apologize for you feelin like that~ it was amazingly written, but I'm sorry you had to write it naimeen~

*I try to stay sleeping as late as I can, for then i'm unconscious to despair..
unaware, of your absence, still stuck in a dream..at least I can see your face there.*

--That was one of the realest lines....i love it


*dropping everything, falling in the middle of the floor, to bawl like a child in a tantrum..
Letting all that I'm feeling release then and there; the screaming and sobbing, my anthem.*

--callin it your anthem jus showed how serious it was...at least to me...

what more to say..

^Thank you. I appreciate it

I'm glad you decided to keep dropping even though that biting thing went on. Since this one is good, and a prime target for biters, I'll keep a lookout for it on the other boards I read from

This reply probably won't be as long as the others I've given. What else can I say about how you write that hasn't already been said by me or someone else? Ok, here goes..

The stuff I've been reading lately, it seems like people are trying to make what they write so complicated. They try to get so many syllables and huge words into a writing that they lose sight of what they are writing about. You never do any of that. You stay on topic with everything really well. It's always easy to follow what you're saying. Especially with this you wrote here. This one had a lot more emotion put into it than the others I read of yours. You really described how bad you felt throughout the whole thing.

"And in the quiet of the eve, i silently grieve; fight to keep my deep cries under wraps..
But alone, and unknown, I dont quiet my hearts tone; unrestrained, I've even collapsed,
dropping everything, falling in the middle of the floor, to bawl like a child in a tantrum..
Letting all that I'm feeling release then and there; the screaming and sobbing, my anthem."

"Almost wishing you removed of my memory and heart, but i know soon enough i'd regret to..
But I cant help but think how easily i'd forget you, or unmiss you.. if i'd never met you........"

Those are the lines I really liked. I felt the second quote a little too much. So instead of making this one really long I'll just leave it at that. Keep posting.

Thaaaaanks legendary..nothin but love.

Nice Shit Yo...

__________________
<center><br>
- The End -
Original Rb Admin
And Still Watching Over You. <br> <img src=http://home.houston.rr.com/tacofox/epenis222.gif></img><br> -An Original RB Member: Yes, We're That Much Better-

^Thank you

Certainly nothing but love.

Y'know when other people write their poetry and I read it, I read it like it's a painting. I can look at it, even understand it, and appreciate the work a person put into it. I can find the parts that really shine and the parts that really need work.

But you tend to go beyond that. Because more often then not when I read others poetry, it doesn't touch me. It's like my heart is trapped in concrete and while I can appreciate poetry I can't feel it. But you tend to write differently, because when I read your stuff I can actually feel it.

I dunno if I feel all the emotions you've put into this peice, or even if I felt the right ones. Like the beginning and the end, I didn't feel anything when I read it. But the middle part, it was like someone broke a dam and all the water came rushing out.

It's hard to explain, it's like words don't have any real meaning until you've written it down.

I mean seriously, if you had an entire book of poetry, I'd honestly try and read it cover to cover in one sitting if I could. I mean you should be a poet laurete.

Anyway, this has been my attempt at showing you that you are better then you think you are. (That, or it's that time of the month and I'm just overly emotional. Which is really weird cause I'm a guy and all.)

~Shalom~

__________________

Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

The loss of a soul mate, a best friend, a lover..
A sadness with a cure i've yet to uncover.

^^Those cemented in your other words. Actually, more so my own thoughts and emotions (but then again, not really cemented, just some more hard 'knocks'..). But seriously, the body of the piece built up a basic picture. But those last two lines just made the other parts kind of obsolete to me (in a personal way).

Felt hard and deep.

..resp...

Thank you Varentao..I always am grateful for your insight..

and Necro..
THANKYOU so much for the generous comments..
You just dont know how much it means to me.
And just for that comment about the book reading:



I will dedicate my first book of Poetry to you.
And I WILL have one.
So keep an eye out
THANK YOU guys.

^ Damn, was expecting a different response than that.. =/

__________________
<center><br>
- The End -
Original Rb Admin
And Still Watching Over You. <br> <img src=http://home.houston.rr.com/tacofox/epenis222.gif></img><br> -An Original RB Member: Yes, We're That Much Better-