lol.....stop the free postin, SHIT, now im free postin..........lol

ya no kiddin oh and young just some advice man. throw in some more vocab, structure ur verse some more and make it more complex by playin with ur words and try out again. u'll get in sooner or later bro keep elevatin.

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<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

<center>Corrupted Visions</center>

<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>

My Last Tryout I Worked On This Hard Please Say Its Good Or Better>.............................................


Just call me Your DJ, because i’m your creator…
You a slacking bastard/sit on ya ass while/ ya girl get her masters/ to buy a house for you to relax in…
And you nothing to change ya job status/ you tell me who the man is/ you need your fat ass kicked…
You half homosexual dyke and the last half is/ just a black ass bitch/ wit wack ass scripts…
Naw fuck it, you just plain fagget/you gottah wait til grandma sleep in her bed so you can gain access…
Ya rhymes are ass backwards/I’ll smack ya/ like ya moms did ya sis when she found those black magnums…
I can prolly pack my black tablet,from the stuff she did/ so ima expose the lil cunt for the slut she is…
So who the ho be?/ you can play like it’s me/ but what a girl doing with extra large condoms at 14…
But you blew it off cuz it was nothin/ until you found out she was clutching them rubbers/ when she fucking ya cousins…
I should have saved all the paste-n and cuttin from fire/ on how you wanted to run up inside her/ but im not as conniving…
But I just might be/stop sending me e-mails saying you wanna be the vet Mc/ just like me…
B4 my words tear in ya skin/take ya veins from where ever they end/ with tweezers and tie them in "Carrick Bends"…
Just to stop circulation,no oxygen to ya brain/ leaving ya obese illogical frame/ in "Optimal" pain…
What you speaks irrelevant/when you listen to excellence you cant tell how im spelling it/ but what about your speech impediment…
You probly got a problem with titles like blues clues/ and drinking YooHoo’s/ or watching the noon news…
To be honest ,I don’t know how you got in the top five/ you couldn’t take my top spot/ if you was two and I died…

Transformation:

Maximus Supreme:

I don’t care if you breathing at all/I don’t care if you practiced rhyme-n winter summer spring and the fall/I don’t care if you got on ya knees to ya God/prayed for Jesus’ to come/while he bleed on the cross/ you leave wit a lost…
Compared to mine ya lines simply is nothing/or is ya brain smothered/ from witnessing gifted construction…
Flawless in structure nothing is wrong/I’m calling Tierone/ you can win a battle on production alone…

alright first things first young. honestly I think u got some potential in ya, that verse was alot betta then ur last with some better vocab, some ok wordplay and some good multi's and ya flow was intact throughout most of the rhyme to.

So who the ho be?/ you can play like it’s me/ but what a girl doing with extra large condoms at 14…
But you blew it off cuz it was nothin/ until you found out she was clutching them rubbers/ when she fucking ya cousins…

I particularly liked those lines. I was feelin it.

but in my opinion I say ur in man, shit was aigh't but for standard procedures here we gotta see what everyone else thinks of ur rhyme so wish ya the best of luck bro. peace.

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<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

<center>Corrupted Visions</center>

<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>

im sorry....i just don't see talent here....i feel like simon...

lol ^....I dont know really, you need to work on structure and other things, just elevate for a little while then come back and give us one more try out. And Keep All The Other Try Outs Coming In.

i dunno.....why does every ones open mic's have to be about depressin seriouse crap.....it seems so played to me.....like every ones tryna be 2pac....

I dunno, maybe its something they can relate to so its easier for them to write about it? Just a thought lol, but i do agree with you....And More Try Outs Please.

ya that's why me and masta C have dropped those 2 High Times collabs. to get other ppl thinkin a bit differently about life. sure it's fuckin hard to rap about good stuff but long as it's there and it's alright then whatever. u don't see to many up beat collabs or open mics. but ya keep the tryouts comin peeps.

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<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

<center>Corrupted Visions</center>

<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>

please....99% of this site is white....and well-off....

werd...
Illness In Disguise... Naw Man It's Just Non Existent..
Only Way You'd Hide Your D/R Is If You Took A Mint..
Write With A Tint And Still Wouldn't Have A Colored Spit..
I'd Be Scared To Spit Shit Because U'd Want To Push It..
Oh Shit.. Leave This Pussy Bleeding Like He Was On The Rag..
Rip The Fag, Have Him Looking Like A Permant Drag..
Tag Team This.. And Still Have You Shitting Bricks..
I'm Not Ill On The Mic I'm A Fucking Epidemic..
So Slick You Delivered The Trick Now Here's The Treat..
Kid Must Be French The Way He Quickly Accepted Defeat..
Repeat.. The Way I Murder You With Heat.. Like I Flamin Gat..
Like DMX I Show Where The Hood At How You Taste My Cap..
I'd Knock 8Ball Into The Pocket To Show Him Games Over..
This Guy Aint Buzzerk He's Just White With A Range Rover..

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yo dawg if u tryin out then I say u in.

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<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

<center>Corrupted Visions</center>

<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>

SO CAN I GET IN THIS Crew

Speek: you are in, just let me know if you are still down...

PAK N. HEAT: No you're too new.