Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
02-22-05, 11:15 AM | #1 | |||||
Banned: Cheating
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"Adrenaline Rush"
IP: A3EA 639E
as me & my fellow poetry heads walk into the backroom
the crowd erupts into a roaring applause all across the room 1 by 1 everybody walks out onto the stage 2 say they piece ....the crowd each time goes abruptly silent.... the 1st 4 contestants get theirs done & leave the stage in relief ....evabody seems 2 luv the talents that they displayed.... the crowd broke out wippin' tears off on they sleeves now it'z my time 2 display the skills of poetry i possess when i walk out on stage all the noises in there went 2 rest ....i realize that all eyes where r on me.... i felt real nervous & it felt like i had 2 go pee i just took a deep breath & couldn't gain my composure til i saw my homeboy from the back from ova my shoulder he told me, "Take Ur Time & Just Do Ur Best Duke" i started 2 read my poem & got into a rhythm steady afta i finished my poem da next time i'll feel ready 2 do nethang i front of otha people & dat'z fo sho ....then it was not a sound.... all of a certain the crowd broke into a standin' o real slo i felt less stressed & alot more at ease that's my experience wit "Adrenaline Rush" in the life of Da_T yeah it'z my 1st poem leave ur feedback & let me know what u think |
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02-22-05, 08:25 PM | #2 | |||||
...fuck life.
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IP: 3240 794D
struvture kood be worked on , but not a bad drop at all, i will say that youo have elevated greatly compared to your past pieces....personally i hate ebonicz in poetry so tahts the only few thingz i didnt like, also a few linez were definitly streched....nice thoguh, keep elev8ing..................6 or 7/10
-1 *also try to have a better ending next time; to me, poems like this are better open ended |
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02-23-05, 09:47 AM | #3 | |||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: A3EA 639E
ight thanx 4 the feedback & i'll make sure 2 take that into consideration uppin 4 more people 2 let me know what they think
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