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05-14-03, 04:02 PM | #1 | ||||||
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The Last Time
IP: 3B3A 53D3
It has been a while since the continents divided.
It's been a black and white dream since the last time silk ran down my coat of arms. A concerto of crackles from the fireplace, and still no sound like the breath you gave. Natural oils engulfed from a freshly lit match, and still no place quite as warm as inside you. Our minds spoke in swaying motions like a pendulum of sharp wit. Together, pouring toward the center of ourselves, like boiling water. We knew we would have to evaporate or overflow eventually. And that was the last time. |
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05-14-03, 05:01 PM | #2 | ||||||
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IP: 3B3A 53D3
uppin it. man i can't anyone to say anything about my work?
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05-14-03, 08:18 PM | #3 | ||||||
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IP: 3B3A 53D3
come on man i just want to hear what people think. i need some critisizm so i can make my skills better.
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05-15-03, 01:01 AM | #4 | |||||||
Spectator
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IP: B7AB 12F7
< Likes it.
__________________
Great spirits often encounter violent opposition from mediocre minds.
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05-15-03, 05:33 AM | #5 | ||||||
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IP: 3B3A 53D3
your the only one - everyone else is sleepin on it.
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05-15-03, 03:57 PM | #6 | ||||||
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IP: 3B3A 53D3
this shit is like a hookers bed - its gettin mad slept on....
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05-17-03, 07:11 AM | #7 | ||||||
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IP: 3B3A 53D3
y'all suck if you sleep on this anymore. this is some tight emotional poetry and no one can add something to it. not a good job or even some constructive critisizm..............
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05-17-03, 11:03 AM | #8 | ||||||
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IP: E03C F70C
to me that was bullshit. i know you could do a lot betta than that. that shit sounds like sumthin i would write. yous a lot betta than that kid. apply yaself dog.
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05-18-03, 04:14 PM | #9 | ||||||
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IP: 3B3A 53D3
its not a rhyme it was just some poetry. i wasn't tryin to battle someone i was just puttin out some poetry.
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