Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
05-16-03, 09:48 PM | #1 | ||||||
Guest
|
Lost
IP: A0A0 11DB
I dont know what to do
I dont know where to turn with every mistake there is a new lesson learned Free fall from a space void of light into a darker abyss this is my plight Standing lifeless on a plateau surrounded by hells fire as for hope I have none my heart is tied with barbed wire I crawl on through the darkness escaping the fire through repent each plateau I reach has an even more gruesome decent though my heart becomes more ravished the closer I get to my goal my mind becomes more clearer but I need them both to be whole I got to hold on ive got to stay strong one day I will be free but will I still be me? |
||||||
05-16-03, 09:49 PM | #2 | ||||||
Guest
|
IP: A0A0 11DB
eh I got distracted. ..
|
||||||
05-17-03, 02:29 AM | #3 | |||||||
BANNED - Pink Slipped
|
IP: DCAD 8491
you got distracted? that mean you gonna add onto that or is it as-is? its pretty good anyways
|
|||||||
05-17-03, 03:50 AM | #4 | ||||||
Guest
|
IP: DDFB F048
nice sonnet
|
||||||
05-17-03, 12:20 PM | #5 | ||||||
Guest
|
IP: F53C AD66
I lost my focus when my phone rang, not exactly how I was readin it inside. But thank you.
|
||||||
05-17-03, 12:58 PM | #6 | ||||||
Light Weight
|
IP: 640C 3FBD
It was really good. Not much else to say about it. I'd quote my fav lines but I liked the whole thing.
|
||||||
05-18-03, 11:29 PM | #7 | ||||||
Guest
|
IP: A4DD 982F
Why thank you, I appreciate it =)
|
||||||
05-18-03, 11:46 PM | #8 | ||||||
Guest
|
IP: 4577 CD9A
*smile* hey baby, Muah, it was good even though im still upset about the fact that u can rap and i cant..smh...I love you yo(cdfu)
|
||||||
05-19-03, 09:21 PM | #9 | ||||||
Guest
|
IP: C1DA C961
D I wish you would tell me when you postin J/K liked it chick! It was way betta thanthe last one waaaaayyyy bettea!! Any who thanks for havin my back and I liked your up-do it was cute lol!
|
||||||
05-20-03, 01:44 AM | #10 | ||||||
Guest
|
IP: 273A 12CD
i think tha whole vibe was beautiful, i can tell this is from deep within, ya word usage was meaningful for the poem.... everything was just set in... loving it... very nice...
|
||||||
05-20-03, 09:08 PM | #11 | ||||||
Guest
|
IP: 2066 7D36
* cheezin hard *, why thank you = )
|
||||||
05-20-03, 09:40 PM | #12 | |||||||
I Am The Light
|
IP: CB2E 7CE0
Poem had it moments but was filled with a typical rhyme scheme. Many people who approach that type of written fail because they tend to be either to basic or too obvious.You rode the line on this one. Keep writing i can see your movement up is not just a figment of my imagination.
-1-
__________________
SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next? sacred scriptures record (5-0) |
|||||||
05-20-03, 11:15 PM | #13 | ||||||
Guest
|
IP: AED0 A897
* blushing *
|
||||||
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Display Modes | |
|
|