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Old 09-19-05, 08:44 PM   #1
Big_O
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From: ROCKLAND
THis Rhymin Game

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ok let me try this agian.............


Alot of you on here like to rip me a new one
but incase you dont know i just begun
and im sorry if i suck at this current time
but as a little boy i just wanted to rhyme
and im sick of all this rippen
and no man i aint trippen
incase you though i aint that good
and i hope aint being misunderstood
theres only few more things i'd like to say
and no bitch ill never go away
and i hold on to my dignity everyday
even after this rhyme i drop today
and this is the part where the chorus fades away...........


(Give me some pointer and i aint startin beef with no one)
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Old 09-19-05, 08:47 PM   #2
Implicit
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Learn some new words. All of your rhymes are basic. Your whole rhyme scheme is basic also. It is really boring right now. Stick with one topic and expand on it. One way you can learn is from practicing. Just keep writing and you'll get better. There are also tutorials on RV that can help you with this.
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Old 09-19-05, 08:48 PM   #3
anxiety
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From: colorado
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Stop beggining every line with and...
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Old 09-19-05, 08:54 PM   #4
Dickard.
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From: Boston
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lol, i hope you dont think i was beefin wit you...my bad......alright check this.....
try and make all your lines be like this:
blah blah blah
blah blah blah
Etc. see what i mean...it will enhance your flow. also...try and expand you vocabulary doing this will make you look smarter lol and enhance you verse....multis is a key in a verse but some times its not a big key.....main thing would be to get your point across...and even though this time you did it in a basic form you still did it....keep elevatin and workin at it...ull get it eventually....1
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Old 09-19-05, 08:55 PM   #5
Kawn Flixx
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Drop two links or this will be closed
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Old 09-19-05, 08:56 PM   #6
Big_O
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thanks man and were cool ^^^^^
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Old 09-19-05, 08:58 PM   #7
Dickard.
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^ye but drop 2 links lol.....................
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Old 09-19-05, 09:06 PM   #8
shaft 26
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all righ the told you he was a beginner so in that case this piece right here is dynamite you will onle get better but take a little time look at the dictionary do more study it you will see the difference not many weaknesses for a beginner keep on it now
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Old 09-19-05, 09:09 PM   #9
The Tragic Wagon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shaft 26
all righ the told you he was a beginner so in that case this piece right here is dynamite you will onle get better but take a little time look at the dictionary do more study it you will see the difference not many weaknesses for a beginner keep on it now

I agree he is not bad for a begginer... But calling this piece dynamite is just silly
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Old 09-19-05, 09:11 PM   #10
Dickard.
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^werd, it was a bit basic....................no hate
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Old 09-19-05, 09:25 PM   #11
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Old 09-19-05, 09:30 PM   #12
Dickard.
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^one more big boy lol
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Old 09-19-05, 09:31 PM   #13
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Old 09-19-05, 09:34 PM   #14
Dickard.
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i get to teach you the site and up my posts...werd
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Old 09-19-05, 09:38 PM   #15
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Thanks man .... Good luck on your battle vs Barr
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