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PuRe AzN..
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Freestyle
IP: 8232 A2A8
CHORUS
i kno uve had problems in da relationships of da past pervs alwayz grabbin u wanna piece a dat ass naww baby u kno me i aint in dat type a class i get a's 4 bein a gentalmen straight up pass i lookin back on tha things we used tuh have.. not much but they defanally aint so bad.. we messed up before mayb it was me, jussa tad.. but the shit ive thru after iz making me mad.. let da past b past cuz we r what we iz now.. ill prove u my love like make u shake like wow.. dont need words these lyrics not even a sound.. got me screaming ya name all cross deez towns.. i wish we had what we wanted soo long ago.. fuck deez niggaz tryna call u a hoe.. i want u to love me lik i love u .. even mo.. scream shit like mya cuz r love iz like wo.. and i aint playin dats fo sho.. am i given a lil 2 much.. 4 not even a single touch.. and i no u aint a slut.. we aint even need tuh cut.. CHORUS i kno uve had problems in da relationships of da past pervs alwayz grabbin u wanna piece a dat ass naww baby u kno me i aint in dat type a class i get a's 4 bein a gentalmen straight up pass i kno uve had problems in da relationships of da past pervs alwayz grabbin u wanna piece a dat ass naww baby u kno me i aint in dat type a class i get a's 4 bein a gentalmen straight up pass dont need titties ass or even pussy.. that shitz 4 ppl that cant handle love "real wussies" and for bitches i got short temper.. dont push me.. shed yah blood every where real guushie.. now lets get back 2 da topic my love shootin off lika bottle rocket.. noo known force can stop it and the only 1.. u that can top it.. i try 2 do tha right shit got a real NIGHT STICK and im tha mc that liks 2 ryme quick and love beyond tyme.. tick..tick.. love stronger then jackie chan kick .. kick and i love u more than nething and ill give up everything tha good stuff and tha bling bling and give up all my money ching ching.. CHORUS i kno uve had problems in da relationships of da past pervs alwayz grabbin u wanna piece a dat ass naww baby u kno me i aint in dat type a class i get a's 4 bein a gentalmen straight up pass
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Nuff Said |
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PuRe AzN..
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IP: 8232 A2A8
itz not that good
i kno that but ehh i dont care thats why i want yall to help you kno
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Old School Sexy...
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IP: CB28 E7E2
its alright... you need to fix your structure you had some good lines.. fix the flow a bit... and create more imagery..
pz
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Acro Nim
Initial, Period ![]() We're Coming For You
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1E
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IP: 5AF5 5CA5
yeah i think this was ok.....needs worked in places...but once ya fix the scheme n add a bit more creativity...should be decent....jus keep working on it...pZ...
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Word.
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IP: 340D 8B8F
You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get closed, Thanks.
But this was ok.....your structure could be better though, try keeping your lines around the same length so its structured good and so it helps out the flow in your piece...you had some alright vocab...had some ok multies, try to make those a bit better though...but this was ok...keep at it. |
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PuRe AzN..
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IP: 8232 A2A8
tyhanx yall
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Nuff Said |
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Sand
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IP: A10D 4933
just a question ..
since when did 'freestyles' have chorus's ? ......
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[ Word for Word ]
Kevin. Alex. Patrick. John. |
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Registered User
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IP: BAF8 D022
nice subject....need some word play...some vocab...and other shit lol......6/10 keep work'n kid
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Banned: Biting
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IP: 59FE C870
good peice.. your structure is a little bit off...
you had some decent lines.. but when you read it few times its a good peaice |
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Banned: Biting
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IP: 59FE C870
ohh sorrry i give this a 6/10
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Word.
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IP: 9C1E 2B43
Posted back without links...this is Closed...follow rules next time.
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