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Old 01-23-04, 02:32 AM   #1
Tommy the 45
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Recent Verse

IP: 4CEF 0D91

I'm the king...better address me as your highness/
your style is like +butter+ without the +fly+ness.
I'm a good guy I just have a bad cause/
running around with no respect for no laws.
Can't judge me not even when I'm 6 feet deeper/
fuck you Saint Peter, can't judge me neither.
God handed 10 commandements but I canned them/
live a life of sin so now I'm stranded.
On this earth till alcohol burns away my organs/
stored in the morque by a hospital warden.
16 years of human presence has left me in repentance/
God gave me life...9 years till I end my sentence.
T O double M Y/
the 45 swallow my blood before I swallow my pride.
Ready to die but do the time God set/
knowledge isn't what you learn but what you can't forget.
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Old 01-23-04, 05:39 AM   #2
Kwizikal
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OK stuff...for a new guy to RB....Sum lines were startlingly gud...N sum were amateurish...but all in all...a gud piece..can see U gettin gud mate...This is Ur fiorst post?
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Old 01-23-04, 06:17 AM   #3
code-187
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i agree with kwizikal some lines were really good some were not so good
i liked this line "I'm a good guy I just have a bad cause/
running around with no respect for no laws."
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Old 01-23-04, 09:23 AM   #4
Tommy the 45
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Thanks for the crit
Yeh this was my first post
Anyone else wana offer some constructive criticism???
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Old 01-23-04, 09:26 AM   #5
Penskills
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..Not bad for your first post..decent flow...keep at it..click my sig~~
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Old 01-23-04, 04:48 PM   #6
Menik
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1 Open Mic Per Day...Follow The Rules.
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