Remember our love - High Class
Seizure - Skiddz
The Prophicy - Wogzta

INFO: This is a story tellin peice which I wanna record when I get the chance. I know I'll get critised bout vocab coz I always do but I didnt focus on that I just wanted to tell the story.
It's full song lyrics so it might seem long but in audio it wouldn't.


Chorus - Singing
The more you, put me through, the more I fell in love with you...
So I love you, but I hate you, these feelins, make me feel so blue...
What should I do, coz right now, I'm sad, but I'm happy...
Coz your presense, it really grabbed me, but you've backstabbed me...

Verse 1 - Rappin
Girl it's sick, the way you treated me like shit...
But I couldnt predict, it would get as bad as this...
And I miss, me and you together always, us...
But lust, broke the trust so now the friendship is crushed...
So now I must move on and only have you as a memory...
Coz us fightin hurts me, so close again we cannot be...
Coz see, I dont wanna go through this again...
All this pain, it's insane, all the mind games...
Things will just remain the same, yes it's sad but true...
When I speak to you, It's clear you hate all I say or do...

Chorus - Singing

Verse 2- Rappin
Sometimes I hate you, do you hate me too? Good...
Ya should, I would if it was you rubbin my face in the mud...
This was true love and I bet your sick of hearin it all the time...
Every line, song, lyric or rhyme tells our story...
Coz you ignored me when I went out with you one night...
Since then all we seem to do is fight, and my head aint right...
So when I wake to the mornin light, I just wanna leave you behind...
Find a new soulmate and put you to the back of my mind...
I wrote this to unwind and realise that the peices to the puzzle never did fit...
Now I finally understand that when you said you knew me you never knew shit...

Chorus - Singing

Verse 3 - Rappin
Oh why did we let these feelins die, I dont understand it, so I wont try...
And I wont cry, instead, all I'm gonna say is fuck you...
The moods you threw, the voodoo and all you put me through...
These feelins aint new, and I know the situation wont change...
Coz we've both been upstaged which adds to my rage on this page...
But now the demon's out it's cage so no matter where you run I'll be there...
Like a nightmare, layin the truth bare just so your aware...
That you made my heart rip and teare without a care in the world...
So we twisted and turned, and hurled ourselves into this mess...
Coz you were the #1 girl, but now your 2nd at the very best...

Chorus - Singing



All feedback is appreciated
Peace!!!

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HARRY R.I.P
1940 - 2002

In Respect

Yo fam, this was tight. All though the third verse was not as good as the others. The reading makes you sound liek Eminem a lil. The chorus was iight. I got the story, so dont worry about that. And I understand what you mean about the vocab. Besides, I really dont pay attention to voacb, but what the pice would sound like fo real. Anyway, this was in all a good piece. 7/10
Return the favor/.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=96992

Sound like eminem!!!....I'm sure people will call me a stan for that. Eventho I wrote this bout me.
I wanna mak that clear for anyone who make a point bout eminem

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HARRY R.I.P
1940 - 2002

In Respect

^^^ lol I was just sayin. No need to take it as offense

I didnt....I didnt mean that to you. I meant it to everyone else whos gonna make a point out of it like camarac always does

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HARRY R.I.P
1940 - 2002

In Respect

haha that wasnt the best thing to say after that thread camarac posted but newayz i liked this heaps actually...kinda suprisin considerin i dont like raps wit love in it but nah that was pretty awsome

This rhyme was tight. I liked the concept and how you kept my attention through-out. I know how you feel about loss causes but there should have been more to add to the story. You could add some more lines to the verses. The third verse wasn't as good as the first two, but it was a tight rhyme. Keep up the good work. It would def. be cool to hear some audio of this track.

yeah i agree this was a good piece here....enjoyed the read...everything seemed good in this...except in the 2nd verse your last 2 lines were kinda stretched out, but it was still good though....your chorus was pretty good i thought...overall this was a good piece i thought, keep at it.

Ok thanks for all the comments.....keep 'em comin

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HARRY R.I.P
1940 - 2002

In Respect

good flow ryhmin and topic

good emotions or how u worded it out

not too bad chorus either

gotta hear it actually sung though

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Yeah like I said I wanna get it recorded so people can get a real feel for it

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HARRY R.I.P
1940 - 2002

In Respect

dis was a nice joint
good topic
it flowed nicely
would be a nice audio
8/10

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BEST OF YJ
Holla at cha Boi
Watch Me
Eyez of a Young Nigga

Thanks

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HARRY R.I.P
1940 - 2002

In Respect

We holdin it down hommie. This was a good topic, and had a consistant flow. Nice lookin rhyme scheme, didnt lay lazy on it...
Maybe work no ya vocab a little bit, but thats about it. This was a good drop fam. Keep this going hommie... 8.5 / 10

OUT

-High Class a.k.a Confusion

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