RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 07-28-05, 09:18 PM   #1
High Class
A King Missing a Queen...
 
High Class's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,573
Joined: Nov 2003
Status: Offline
Defying The Odds

IP: B12C B172

“Defying the Odds”

Thoughts of a cliff inching, skin pinching, heart wrenching lover
Pitch hitting, Space fitting, beauty piercing cover
As I fall to a slumber… wonder if that cover matches the words…
Of my Childs mother…
Not of the present, but instead blessing the future
Intriguing eyes and her reasoning just gets even cuter
Use her?
Not possible, not of the logical
She seems to pass emotions… it appears philosophical
Enticing me as of now, as of later turned flammable
Unexplainable… some thing so perfect and yet retainable
Some points… Times went stale
Kisses conceived nails…
Sex usually immense… seemed to go frail
But Love… installed in our hearts of iron and Marble
Given these situations… It made us stronger without startle…
Instead revealing success… Blessed with a partner
Whose soul… mine would gladly invest
We live every day as our last…
A life conceived of Blissful passion pouring over the glass
Consider this an equation…
A blessing, God producing two to be so amazing
So creating… Us as one world, together rotating
…Slowly fading, slowly wading…
Into an abyss revealed by Gods
For keeping our love to the bible, “Defying the Odds.”









( I will be dropping OM's alot more... be lookin )


( This is my last topical battle write over there at RB, tell me what you think... I dunno bout it yet... I took a different appraoch with the rhyme scheme and all... )
LINKS
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...872#post2326872
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2326890
__________________


Sig created by "Tha Sick One..."

CRHYME SINDICATE

Open Mic Drops
-Defying The Odds-

Higher Thinking League
Record 2-0

High Class vs Tweety ( semifinals match)


  Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-05, 09:23 PM   #2
Rile1
The Emcee Shogun
 
Posts: 500
Joined: Jul 2005
From: Hayward, CA
Status: Offline
Text Record: 3-2
IP: 5DE6 0B3F

nice man... I felt good emotion but I wish it was a lot longer man, it'd be hella better with more length, the vocab was good but there was a lil bit of some sketchy rhymes, ur structure was great and went with the piece. I would like to hear the audio of this if possible(if it happens pm me please) great piece man keep writing.....8/10..coulda been longer....-PEACE
__________________
When i vote on urs vote on mine
Me vs. Opt1k(topical..50/vote)
I do this to herbs>>
Send a message via MSN to Rile1   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-05, 10:33 PM   #3
Christianite
Witness, 4 God, 4-Ever
 
Christianite's Avatar
 
Posts: 455
Joined: Jun 2004
From: Bootheel of MO
Status: Offline
IP: 5585 84DB

this was cool, good imagery and emotion, vocab was good, good read from top to bottom, keep it up man
__________________
i come from a time when you earned respect,
for your rhyme and the way you made words connect,
not the money that you made or the girls you sexed,
a concept you obviously haven't heard of yet
Mars Ill
Send a message via MSN to Christianite   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-05, 03:58 PM   #4
High Class
A King Missing a Queen...
 
High Class's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,573
Joined: Nov 2003
Status: Offline
IP: B12C B172

^ Good lookin with the comments...

UPPIN
__________________


Sig created by "Tha Sick One..."

CRHYME SINDICATE

Open Mic Drops
-Defying The Odds-

Higher Thinking League
Record 2-0

High Class vs Tweety ( semifinals match)


  Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-05, 04:02 PM   #5
Black Queen
Classic
 
Black Queen's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,183
Joined: Dec 2004
Status: Offline
IP: 0825 899A

this was a good drop u cud fix the structure doe but it was good nice emotion n imargery had good vocab 8/10

rtf
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...t=201613&page=1
__________________

  Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-05, 04:15 PM   #6
Viva
Cuz I'm Old Skool Baby
 
Viva's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,291
Joined: Apr 2005
From: ring the BEL and run FAST!!!
Status: Offline
Text Record: 5-1
IP: 042E 9E4C

yeah im glad i read this man, overal a deep piece with nice imagery and emotion, this was a really good read!

…Slowly fading, slowly wading…
Into an abyss revealed by Gods
For keeping our love to the bible, “Defying the Odds.”

I really liked the ending, good stuff!
__________________
This is my sig. what?

I'm white so u KNOW i can't rap =)

I will definitely RTF if u leave a link, thanks!
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-05, 07:46 PM   #7
Castro...
QU3 M! D3$T!NO 3$ M! UN!CO 3N3M!GO
 
Castro...'s Avatar
 
Posts: 3,735
Joined: Feb 2004
Status: Offline
Text Record: 13-4
Audio Record: 2-2
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 00A2 4ED0

nice lil piece good imagery good flow good overalll I liked it alot i would rate this piece a 8/10...

rtf-

Defying The odds(Link in sig)
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:22 AM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.