BrOTheRP.A.R.A. vs MagiC
 

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Minimum posts to vote: 20

Check in by: 08-11-04 at 07:47 AM

Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in.

MagiC has ACCEPTED this battle on 08-08-04 07:48 AM.

BrOTheRP.A.R.A. has ACCEPTED this battle on 08-08-04 07:57 AM.

dreams somtimes you have them all the time/ (1)
i dream about me spittin out rhymes/(2)
everynight i turn on my light write down somethin/(3)
thought i was gonna win/(4)
my match with this other guy/(5)
but i tryed to see it in my dream/(6)
its probly just a theame to you/(7)
cuz you scream in yer bed but its just a tred/(8)
so dont you see its just a dream, dont think your gonna end up dead/(9)
so dont get scared cuz i try to be great, so i hope i win this next dabate/(10)

ight theres mine now you can spit yers and mine kinda suck but it realy sucks but lets see what you spit and ya also mines freestyle

I don’t want to sleep, I’m afraid of my haunted past
Last thing I need is sleep,, I hope my body can last

Everybody dreams sometimes, I dream often about death
Left with pain and sorrow my thought often end with death

My eyes are starting sting my body cant handle the deprivation
My thought filled with pain I long for mind and body separation

The pain is my own doing, I didn’t mean to cause any pain
Them people that I killed, wasn’t me! My twisted minds to blame

The corpses are still in the corner, I feel the eyes glaring on my back
There is no way out, Tie rope around my neck and wait until it cracks

Peace~

Voted For: MagiC

dreams somtimes you have them all the time/ (1)
i dream about me spittin out rhymes/(2)
4/10
everynight i turn on my light write down somethin/(3)
thought i was gonna win/(4)
3/10
my match with this other guy/(5)
but i tryed to see it in my dream/(6)
1/10 didnt rhyme
its probly just a theame to you/(7)
cuz you scream in yer bed but its just a tred/(8)
1/10 didnt rhyme
so dont you see its just a dream, dont think your gonna end up dead/(9)
so dont get scared cuz i try to be great, so i hope i win this next dabate/(10)
1/10 didnt rhyme

I don’t want to sleep, I’m afraid of my haunted past
Last thing I need is sleep,, I hope my body can last
5/10
Everybody dreams sometimes, I dream often about death
Left with pain and sorrow my thought often end with death
4/10
My eyes are starting sting my body cant handle the deprivation
My thought filled with pain I long for mind and body separation
6/10
The pain is my own doing, I didn’t mean to cause any pain
Them people that I killed, wasn’t me! My twisted minds to blame
5/10
The corpses are still in the corner, I feel the eyes glaring on my back
There is no way out, Tie rope around my neck and wait until it cracks
7/10


okay both good but it came down to creativity and which story is better


i think this is a topical about Dreams but i dont see it so im just taking a guess


vote in return in my battles in my sig

Thanks for the vote up~ing 1#

PC

Voted For: MagiC

Magic took this one. His structure was a little more secure, and his depiction was just better overall. Brother, work on your consistency, it'll help you out in the long run.

Yo, return the favor, y'all. Vote honestly, 'preciate it.
http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=140455

http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=138941

ight i did suck on that one haha but im only good at wrighting songs that i can put on here cuz i save them so ya.

Up~ing for votes 2#

Voted For: MagiC

I think magic won .. because he had better structure.... Brotha .. you toalked too much about dreams and i think magic had betta yrics... ... so myvote goes to magic!.....

PeAcE~*~*~*

Return tha favor *`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*

Thanks for the vote man^

Uping come on peeps wanna close this up,..

Up~ing 3#

This was feedback posted for BrOTheRP.A.R.A.
 

brother, was a fairly simple verse in itself. lacked vocabulary, or made sense, from my understanding it's a topical battle or something similar, about dream. either way i didn't like this one. didn't capture or captivate me at all.